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Sad this is my last baby

(7 Posts)
Milkeverywhere Sun 03-Jan-16 20:59:10

Hello. Perhaps this isn't the right place to post this but I was wondering if anyone else here has felt the same and how you get over that feeling of not feeling quite complete.

Basically I gave birth to my third 3 weeks ago. I've always wanted 3 kids and feel extremely grateful that I've been fortunate enough to achieve this. However ever since he was born I can't help feeling so sad at the thought that he is my last and my childbearing years are over. I don't know if it's the hormones but now I just think I really really do want another.

There are numerous reasons why we can't, financial, lack of space, my age (although I don't suppose 33 is that old) and my DH definitely doesn't want any more because let's face it, it's bloody hard work! So how can I accept the fact that this is it and move on? Any advice would be grately appreciated. X

raisin3cookies Sun 03-Jan-16 21:05:53

Give it time. You are still swimming in hormones and I always wanted another baby when I had a gorgeous tiny one. You never want it to end!

My youngest is now a toddler and I'm ready to wave goodbye to the baby days, but it took me a while.

VocationalGoat Sun 03-Jan-16 21:20:37

It's really so normal. I struggle with this a lot. DC3 is 19 months old and I am 43, so he really, really is my last. My window is definitely shut. I'm just watching mother nature 'seal' it for good measure grin and it hurts.

I have to say, after my last baby I immediately wanted another one. It would have been a perfect time to have triplets because I'd have been delighted! grin
Admittedly, now that my youngest is 19 months, I've calmed down a lot and made peace with the fact that my baby making days are behind me. What's ahead? Raising those babies to adulthood. I was watching them today, my younger two, age 5 and our 19 month old, splashing in puddles and laughing their heads off (my eldest is 14 next month, so muddy puddles are not his bag, so he was nowhere to be seen... in fact just getting him to be seen with me is a pleasure these days!). But I had that little pang that hits and then I thought to myself: It's their time now. It's time for me to raise them and not worry about the next baby I won't be having.

I think once your hormones stabilise and your youngest gets out of the 'baby' phase, you too will feel a bit more at ease with having three. I was putting away some clothes that my tot no longer fits and I didn't feel so sad about it. I find that once they really become 'kids', full of personality and gusto and you see the youngest running around trying to keep up with the bigger ones, you will feel a bit more settled.
But I totally understand you. 4 is my magic number but really, is it? Would I ever be satisfied with 4 kids, 5, 6 kids? grin The hilarious thing is I am constantly knackered and moaning about how exhausted I am all the time, so why on earth I want to bury myself a little deeper is beyond me. But babies... it's just such a glorious process making them, delivering them into the world, watching them grow. It's the best thing. flowers

We're getting a dog in about 3 weeks! I am hoping that will close the circle for good! Ha ha!

Congratulations by the way!

Needaninsight Sun 03-Jan-16 21:22:57

33?

I didn't have no 1 until I was 38 grin No 2 came at 39. I still haven't said no to another one.

Good god. 33 is young!

Tsotofamily Sun 03-Jan-16 21:57:12

Vocational goat. - I got a puppy in hope it would curve my broodiness, infact we have now got another puppy and I'm now 11 weeks pregnant.
Milkeverywhere I felt like that after all of mine I just think it's natural to most women x

BooOzMoo Sun 03-Jan-16 22:07:02

I've got 3.... Had my last at 35! Felt really broody at first but my eldest is 8 and next is 6 but has lots of disabilities.
As time goes to n I feel so much less broody but my DS2 is still in nappies and behaves like 18mth year old

Milkeverywhere Mon 04-Jan-16 10:09:26

Thank you all so much for your comments. I think you're right in that it's still early days and hormones are all over the place so perhaps I'm really not thinking rationally. But it's so good to hear I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

Vocational, I totally understand the constant knackered feeling and yes why would you want to make that worse! Haha. It does make sense to spend what little energy I have on my 2 and 4 year old and baby rather than immediately wishing for another and more sleepless nights etc. But still it is absolute magic making and having babies isn't it.

Needaninsight, thanks smile I don't feel young though, guess that's what having small kids do to you! Is your oh on board with having another?

Tsotofamily, congrats smile enjoy every minute! Although if you're anything like me the first 3 months are morning sickness hell.. Another good reason for me not to go through it again.

BooOzmoo, I'm sorry to hear about your sons disabilities, that must be very hard. flowers

Raisin3, I am hoping that I too will naturally feel less broody over time. Just can't see it happening any time soon, so I shall not be parting with the baby clothes just yet and just pretend I might still need them one day.

Just going to feed my gorgeous bub now xxx

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