Having to stop when i want a large family ?(19 Posts)
If you want another baby just do it.
I too would love another baby but after 4 csections last with complications and being advised during op not to have anymore. I have started to 'clear' out newborn stuff to help me find closure on this stage. My dc4 is 4 months: it may not be the way to deal with it but right now I feel better.
Maybe get ready to try asap. Don't worry about gaps mine are 7 years apart then 18 months then 12 months.
I would persevere with the genetic testing. We have 2 dc and ds2 has a genetic (life limiting) condition. We had no idea I was a carrier before he was born, otherwise I would have gone through the genetic testing route. It is really demanding to care for a severely disabled child and I couldn't have imagined looking after him if I'd had lots of complications with my own health post-birth.
It has a big impact on the other dc as well, my friends who have dc with the same condition have a much poorer quality of life as they have a bigger family and have to miss out on a lot because of it, and it's a nightmare trying to juggle the various hospital appointments and having to take small children in tow, or organise ad hoc or emergency childcare.
You also have a 50% chance of not being a carrier. Will the NHS give you a test if you want it?
I would think you could get tested on the nhs to see if you're a carrier and if you are get your husband tested too. My nephew has cf and myself and my husband were tested before trying for our first baby. I'm a carrier, he's not. I will make sure my kids are tested/aware of testing before they have kids too - it's important to know.
To be honest I'm fine with it really. I'm just so thankful that we have the testing. I will suggest to my kids they get tested with their partners before having kids but at least there are options this way. Do speak to your GP about getting tested. Regardless of if you want another child it is important to know I think x
Can you not get genetic testing for yourself now? Results were back in less than 3 months when we had them done and there was no quibbling about the need for them. Given that you're considering more children I can't believe they'd refuse them.
FWIW we've already been offered for dd (who is 6) together with counselling when we consider her ready to find out if she's a carrier.
If the condition your dn has is inherited recessively it is unlikely any other child you have would have the condition, even if you are a carrier. This is because your partner would also have to be a carrier for the condition to be passed on to your baby. You could ask your GP for a referral to a Genetics clinic if you would like to understand the risks for your situation.
I'd ask anyhow. Might even be tempted to go straight to the genetics person / haemotologist your db is dealing with, tell them how you're related and your situation (or most likely the secretary) and see what comes of it. Ds's is super rare and they've been really helpful.
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