am i going mad??? 4+

[Claire129]

I am 30 years old and have 3 Beautiful kids that i love sooooo much and who are so very very good. They do argue as all kids do when they are in each others company but keep asking me for another sibling. I have a dd who is 11, a dd whi is 9 and a ds who is 4 and they are all now in full time school. I think I may be pregnant and am scared of the impact its going to have on us all, we have the space in the house, its a 3 bedroom semi and we have a huge back garden. We have a car that seats 5 people but am worried how much a 7 seater will cost and on top of all the baby gear I will have to star again with will we manage???? I work part time and my hubby full time but we arent loaded but we are comfotable. I hope to return to work after and drop a few hours after the birth but will i manage 4 kids, a job and a house??? I feel like i am a good mum and have a wonderful hubby who actually LIKES cleaning up so not too worried about that. The kids are great and i know they will help ALOT esp my eldest dd. Also not to sound vain but worried about getting back down to my weight now and back into my clothes after working so hard to lose 3 stone, will my body be ok after 4 kids, i dont want to start that battle again. Deep down I would LOVE another baby but what would society think too, large families get such bad press and people look down their noses at them and think they are scroungers, which is complete rubbish but innthis day and age plenty of people have opinions and judge very quickly.. sorry for the long message but getting me down and would love some advice xxxxx

[ragged]

Sorry this got ignored, it's a bit hard to read without paragr. breaks.

Large families by one mother and multiple absent dads get slagged off, but that doesn't sound like your situation.

We managed for 2 years with only a 5 seater car after birth of my 4th DC child, you'd be surprised how well you might cope.

[Claire129]

Thanks so much for the lovely comment, i got a bit carried away with the typing i think lol xxxx

[ragged]

There are a lot of folk on MN who have had surprise pregnancies they didn't think they'd cope with, either. Hopefully someone will be along soon.

Most of mine were suprises, but I can't articulate How I felt about them very well. How far along would you be, if you are...?

[Claire129]

about 5 or 6 weeks so its hard to get my head around it, i know i have a long way to go and a long time to get my head around it but feel like im going insane with all these emotions going round and round my head

[lollystix]

Hi Claire - posted to u before about my situation a week or so ago. Its now updated slightly with the arrival of ds4 currently 6 days old. He was also a shock as got to 15 weeks pregs without noticing- had just returned to work - biggish job 4 days a week after a year off with other 3 boys (now 5,3 and 18 months). I skipped back into work so happy to be returning and had sold all my baby stuff. I then had to tell them 6 weeks later I would be off AGAIN.

So folk can be judgemental but I figured I wasn't going to terminate a life based on what others thought - not an option for me'. But folk have also been very supportive too - they know I'll cope because I always do.

Yes my situation isn't what I planned - I always thought I'd have 2 kids - a boy/girl combo and live in a lovely house in the burbs. So after 6 years of marriage I'm mum to 4 boys, almost gave birth at my desk (I'm supposed to be working this week still as technically should be 39 weeks) and I live in a city centre flat with mould and a mouse. Oh and we have a 5 seater car.

However I regard myself as truly blessed. I have 4 beautiful, healthy kids, just enough cash to pay the bills, a fab husband (who is shit at cleaning-and can barely screw in a lightbulb) and a job. It will be hard but I'll cope - maybe not as beautifully as some others would like but we'll be fine.

I think you just need to embrace it. It's a shock but look to the future with a positive head on and you know you'll have a fab family life.

[Claire129]

WOW lollystix what an inspiration you are, you have really put my mind to ease and made me feel soooooo much better, my dh is VERY excited and the kids ask me at least once a week if we are going to be having another baby.

Congratulations on your new addition I am sure you are thrilled and sounds to me like you are a wonderful mum and have a good head on your shoulders....fancy lending to me for abit lol.

I am going to read this whenever i feel down or worried, thanks so much and i wish you all the best which you dont need because you sound like you could take on the world
Thanks again :D
xx

[lollystix]

Thanks Claire - I think you're in a great position. You want the baby and so does DH and your other kids. That's fab-my dh was really not so supportive at the start and it's been a real strain but we're getting there. You've also got room for your new one and the only issue is perhaps your car and the lack of some baby stuff - people can be so generous with hand me' downs though I've found

Please don't worry about what others think as you can never please everyone. Folk thought we were mental having ds3 and he was very much planned - my dad freaked out about it - why it was any of his business I don't know. He and others are constantly on at us about buying a people carrier and moving to a four bed modern house out of town. Yes that would be sensible but it's just not us. I did stress about the reaction we've had to 4 (dh very much so) but what can we do really? - that's why I've came to the resolution to stop caring.

Good luck to you - it sounds like you're all happy in your family unit and ultimately that's all that counts.