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Has infertility affected your work?

(8 Posts)
Strawberryshortcake28 Tue 05-May-20 11:16:30

The struggle of infertility has made me depressed after months of feeling low pretty much all last year I went and got perscribed antidepressants she also signed me of work for four weeks

Now with my IVF being canceled and a very close person to me announcing their supposed pregnancy I feel triggered again I'm a key worker and today I felt so low I had to ask work to leave as I couldn't see my computer through my tears or concentrate

I feel guilty it's effecting my work before this year my absence history was spotless anyone else have an experience like this

pinacollama Tue 05-May-20 18:27:33

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s awful. I hope you’re able to get back onto the IVF path as soon as possible.

I’m not really sure what to say apart from make sure you look after yourself. If you need more time off, you should see if you can take it. This is such a stressful time for everyone- with added fertility difficulties it’s just horrible. I’m in a similar boat- I work in the NHS (community not hospitals but finding all the uncertainty and change and different procedures re. seeing patients super difficult!) and after fertility investigations and a laparoscopy for endo we were supposed to be having our appointment to hopefully start the IVF process at the end of the month. I have had anxiety and related intrusive thoughts before, and covid + infertility hasn’t been a great mix for me.

Do you follow Mother of One (Lucy)on Instagram? She’s a lovely lady and has been running free zoom mindfulness sessions each Wednesday with different presenters each time, for people in a similar position.

physicskate Tue 05-May-20 19:13:01

It was the proverbial straw that broke my teaching career... I was then not in a fit state to work for well over a year. And the scars are still there two years on...

Hugs. It sucks. You aren't alone. These are trite things to say, but they're true.

Fluoxetine before ivf saved my life.

Strawberryshortcake28 Tue 05-May-20 19:34:37

Thank you that's what I'm on 20 mg its helped me but 7 weeks into lockdown and DH loosing his job I feel awful again I wouldn't mind trying a higher dose do you remember what mg you were on ? I feel so guilty calling in sick

physicskate Tue 05-May-20 20:45:57

I don't remember the dose. I think it's was 10mg? Started it at about the same time I quit teaching, so I think that helped my head space too.

Ask for a higher dose. It's totally allowed!!!

twinkledag Wed 06-May-20 00:00:53

Yes. I had a panic attack at work when my first cycle of ivf failed and 2 people I knew had given birth that morning.

I've not been able to progress my career as can't move jobs in case of needing maternity leave / not fair on employer to start a new job then get pregnant etc

Nearly got fired a couple of years ago when I miscarried.

It's shit and you have my sympathy.

Mctm123 Wed 06-May-20 07:58:23

Similar story to @twinkledag I went back to work after my second miscarriage and thought I was ready only to have the worst panic attack of my life my boss actually wanted to drive me home. I knew I’d put pressure on myself to return when I wasn’t actually ready. Since then, work have been brilliant and I’ve actually opened up to them more about how bad it’s got. They arranged for some councilling which I’ve had free of charge and they put me in touch with a scheme that allows me to take further long term sick on half pay for up to 18 months and I’ve applied. Since then, I’ve had another miscarriage and my ivf journey is over but if my claim gets approved from work I’m still going to take it to give myself a break, process everything and hopefully go back stronger and able to do my job with no distractions and the future. I’ve not been happy in that job for years but because they have gave me so much support, it’s made me consider sticking it out as I know on my return I’ll be supported too and to be honest, I just want an easy life after all the recent heartache. Don’t feel guilty, your health and well-being is crucial to you being able to function and work has to take second place sometimes, good luck x

kikisparks Wed 06-May-20 08:41:00

So sorry to hear this flowers I’m quite low at the moment and struggling to concentrate for the same reasons as you, luckily I work from home and have been able to take my time but the work is piling up now.

If I was you I’d go to your doctor and get signed off again just now. Does your clinic offer a counsellor? We can still contact the counsellors at our clinic by email and they’ll arrange a call.

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