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Struggling with the wait to start our 3rd cycle how are people coping?

(11 Posts)
MrsLouB Wed 22-Apr-20 10:03:17

Hi All,

Just thought id pop on and see if anyone one else was struggling with the wait? our clinic is closed due to what is going on at the moment so ive had no updates from them. We where successful on our 2nd try FET but unfortunately ended in MC at 7 weeks a the start of March.

i wanted to have a break and get my body ready before the next one, but i am annoyed that the clinic did not follow up with me at all even before the pandemic hit or AIBU?

The fact is we have 1 frozen embryo left and it will be our last try and i know that i need the help for my lining to achieve pregnancy, so the fact its being held up i feel just so out of sorts.

sorry for the rant ladies xx

ChatWithMe Wed 22-Apr-20 10:07:16

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That sounds awful. I'm awaiting FET of our last embryo from cycle 3 too but we're doing one more cycle if we can after that.

It's funny I just started a similar thread as I'm finding this lockdown difficult without knowing when we can resume treatment :-(

MrsLouB Wed 22-Apr-20 11:35:05

hi @ChatWithMe thanks for your message oh really how strange lol .

Yes i think as normally we would have a plan in place and that has been taken away from us, also for me i wanted to start before i turn 40 in September but i guess these things are now out of our hands like most of it,

Thats good news that you have plans to do more too we just dont have the money after this FET as it would mean another full cycle which if i remember rightly with drugs and tests etc closing in on 10k. But more than that its been 14 years and with our loses we said we would try it and we have and have to draw a line somewhere even just for the mental health side of things.

Have your clinic been in touch at all with regards to whats happening
.

ChatWithMe Wed 22-Apr-20 13:22:13

Gosh you've had a really long journey! I can understand why you want to draw a line under it asap. My end date to stop trying via treatment and otherwise is my 40th birthday next year when we're selling all our baby equipment. It's a constant reminder of what may never happen for us. We're lucky our first IVF gave us our son. The final 3 ivfs might all be for nothing but if you don't try something you never know if it might have been possible. 3 failed ivfs will give us closure.

Our clinic hasn't been in touch but when the last FET failed I rang to tell them the result and was out on a waiting list for doctor follow up.

What have you been doing during this month at home?

MrsLouB Wed 22-Apr-20 14:22:39

@ChatWithMe

Yes it has been a long journey and i dont want it to end but i realise how old i am getting lol.

So pleased you have your son but you are right you need to try to know, and thats why we have done it that way too, otherwise its a big what it all the time.

Oh i see, i was waiting a i would assumed wrongly the clinic would check in after the scan showed our miscarriage and i was told it would start in a week, but nothing. I have been in touch today though to ask them. As it felt very much like oh ok we have had your money it didn't work now move onto to the next patient, i dont think they meant it like that but it felt like that.

I am lucky enough to still be working from home although on reduced money the same as if furlough so it give me something to concentrate on . How about you ? i bet your little boy keeps you busy

Lemongrass1 Wed 22-Apr-20 14:50:29

Hi @ChatWithMe and @MrsLouB. I think I recognise your usernames from some earlier threads. Also in same boat. FET was cancelled back in March just as I was finishing downreg 😞 Turning 41 very shortly and was planning to draw a line under things by end of year if no success but it may be that we continue until mid next year now. Finding it unsettling that it’s been drawn out so long and even more unsettling we don’t have any idea if treatments could start in a few weeks or a few months. I suspect the latter but hope for the former. Also didn’t hear anything much from our clinic without chasing from my side. They have refunded the FET in full but we have taken a hit with £500 of drugs which will probably expire before clinics start up again. I suspect we will have to move to a private clinic if we want to start sooner which adds another layer of complexity and delay with moving the embryos. I hope we all get some clarity soon with when things might restart so we can start planning our lives again!

ChatWithMe Wed 22-Apr-20 15:05:32

Sorry you're still waiting for the miscarriage to pass MrsLouB. Yes I think clinics should follow up more because a phone call doesn't take long and it shows they care.

Yes hi Lemongrass 1 shame were both still struggling to get our BFPs. So lovely to hear about pregnancy successes on here but realistically the majority of us have to get through a lot of let downs before a win. I hope you get to use your meds before they expire :-/ Do freaking expensive those meds are! What's kept you busy in this month of lockdown?

MrsLouB Wed 22-Apr-20 15:17:57

Hey @Lemongrass1 i have been round a while :-) sorry to hear your in the same boat. i know the drugs are an issue i still have some left over from the MC as i had to buy more progesterone and estrogen to support the pregnancy but at least i should be able to use that again. In regards to your drugs you are normally of with them as long as they have been kept per instructions i still have some in my fridge from the 1st full round of IVF . But i am like you i wanted to get it all done within a year we started last November and wanted to get to my 40th one way or another. its just so hard sitting in limbo.

Yeah i thought about moving our Frostie but we are already at a private clinic and so it wouldnt matter to much. Are you NHS then? i am to old for my PCT area there cut off was 35.

@ChatWithMe oh no sorry ive had the MC and had a full cycle since which was just as bad too, i meant when i left the clinic they said it should happen within a week and if not to call them, all just very matter of fact.

x
I was part of a lovely group when we where all having our transfers and went on to our BFP and it does go to show you how much loss was out there even in the small group of people who where successful in getting their BFPS.

ChatWithMe Wed 22-Apr-20 18:47:21

Oh I see MrsLouB well I'm glad it's in the past. Best to put your energy into hope for another try. I've done all my tasks for the day and I'm gonna relax a bit. Hope you can too. Once I go to sleep, groundhog day repeats so gotta muster up the motivation to face lockdown day number 32...

Lemongrass1 Wed 22-Apr-20 21:04:42

@ChatWithMe - Yes, it really feels like Groundhog Day! I’m just counting the days until this next 3 week block is up and they hopefully give us some kind of an idea on the short term strategy for easing lockdown. Even if it’s still some time in the future. It’s the not knowing that’s hard.

@MrsLouB So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Yeah, we all focus on the BFP but very sadly things can go wrong after. Unfortunately we had an ectopic with our first transfer but were incredibly lucky to have success with a FET. My meds are all fine at room temperature but they expire in Aug sadly, so not a long shelf life. Plus they may put me on a different protocol at a new clinic. Currently we are private at a NHS clinic. Our frosties came from the same clinic from our one funded cycle. Rubbish that your area cut off was 35 though, ours was up to 39. I hate the postcode lottery, it should be the same everywhere ☹️

ChatWithMe Wed 22-Apr-20 22:12:10

I like your strategy Lemongrass1. Count down (to tentative lockdown end) rather than count up (each day my number gets bigger!).

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