6 miscarriages. What next?

[ALifeMoreCurious]

I don’t know where to turn.

In the last 3.5 years I’ve had 6 miscarriages. The first was a late loss at 16 weeks and since then I’ve had losses at 6, 8 and 10 weeks, and 2 were chemical pregnancies.

We know that the babies we lost at 8, 10 and 16 weeks were boys. The most recent loss was in October and so it’s still very raw, and we plan to take time out, but I’m just so scared and sad. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I don’t know what the next step is. There’s always been some hope.

We’ve had almost every test imaginable, through the NHS and privately, and appear to have overcome problems with sperm DNA fragmentation as well as immune issues. In my most recent pregnancy I also took aspirin and heparin as despite testing negative for any clotting issues, there’s a clotting pattern to our losses. The babies never have slow growth or slow heartbeats. They’re developing well and then they suddenly die.

Our NHS clinic want me to add steroids and progesterone to my treatment if and when we’re ready to try again. Just to cover any potential immune issues.

Our private clinic want us to have LAD and HDQ-Alpha testing to look at our compatibility though I think the LAD test just relates to me. They’ve also suggested a repeat hysteroscopy with implantation cuts to strengthen the uterine environment but I’ve previously had this and one of the chemical pregnancies happened the next again cycle. So it doesn’t fill me with confidence.

My partner is going to have a sperm culture test to see if there’s any trace of infection in his semen, something we both agree he should do as it’s not something we’ve tried before and if he has a possible infection we need to sort that regardless.

But that’s it really. More options. But no real answers. Just trial and error.

I should add that we have a healthy five year old daughter, conceived without issue and she’s our absolute world, so every decision we make is made carefully and always with her in mind.

A nurse once told me to be grateful for what I have, but the funny thing is I don’t think I could be more grateful. When we lost our son I knew exactly what I was losing, the milestones that would never happen, and he would’ve been three this month. And she’s at an age where she wants nothing more than a brother or sister. But maybe it’s time to focus fully on what we do have?

[Steenac72]

I’m so sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine how hard it is on you to go througH so many miscarriages. I don’t have much I can advise you. Only whether you have considered doing IVF with PGS testing? I don’t know whether this would mean a successful pregnancy though when the babies are growing normally but if you’ve tried everything else? I’m Very sorry for your losses.

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

Is there any tests they can do that look at whether there is genetic/chromosome issues either your partner and you "making" boys?
Definitely look into PGS testing but be aware that it's most been down graded by the HFEAA from amber to red which means they don't consider it has much effect on the outcome of success

[crosser62]

Nothing to suggest but as a fellow multiple miscarrier (7 in total) you have my sympathy and complete understanding.
We never got any answers to the reason for our losses.
I tried aspirin, high dose folic acid, clexane injections on recommendation from the multiple miscarriage clinic.
I still miscarried but with much additional and spectacular pain and heavier bleeding!

We gave up trying on the last miscarriage, I was 42 and had no more plan, no more hope and had our 9 year old to think about.

[Dia12]

I'm sorry to hear of your losses, what a terrible thing to have gone through. We have been struggling to conceive our first child for 3 years and had 4 chemical pregnancies. Sounds like you have a good clinical team looking after you. I would also suggest taking progesterone to support any future pregnancy as there is evidence to suggest that women who have had 4 miscarriages do benefit from this.
If you feel strong enough to continue, I would suggest you pursue having another child whilst you are able to as the window of opportunity is finite. If you don't, then that's ok too, there is still so much more to life.
Wishing you the best x

[ALifeMoreCurious]

Thank you all for replying. I know it’s hard to offer advice and reassurance under the circumstances so appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts.

@Steenac72 we have considered IVF with PGS but statistically there’s no real argument for it, unless of course I decide to transfer female embryos but I feel uncomfortable about that and it really is just where my mind is wandering - it’s not based on advice or evidence - and there’s no genetic issues that seem to relate to being unable to carry boys although an aunt of mine lost two boys and had two girls.

If our pregnancies we know one boy was physically normal (no genetic results from that loss as sample was so poor) and one was genetically normal so there’s only been one known genetic loss and it was a very rare one.

The above answers your question too @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted. Maybe there is something in the genetic side where boys are concerned but perhaps it’s something that hasn’t been discovered yet. Even our private clinic, an IVF clinic, said IVF would be invasive in our situation. So I’m unsure about that approach.

I’m almost 36 so do feel I have some time on my side but there’s the emotional and mental toll it all takes on you. And I feel like my physical health and fitness has suffered a lot this year so might take a year to just focus on getting my strength back in all areas before deciding.

Honestly struggling so much with my mental health atm but thankfully have some counselling lined up x

[twinkledag]

I'm so sorry to read this. My friend also had multiple miscarriages and wrote a blog about the treatment she had which led to a successful pregnancy.

trytryagainblog.wordpress.com

[ALifeMoreCurious]

Thank you for sharing @twinkledag this does offer some hope. I’m still feeling very mixed up but planning to take the next couple of days to myself so I can write everything down and process it all.

Genuinely thankful for all your responses and hope your Christmas was a gentle one x