Completely clueless

[willithappen]

Hi all,

I'm sorry for the newbie post here, just really looking for some advice/people to talk to.

I have been with my partner for 5 years now. We haven't actively tried for children all this time however haven't used contraception the majority of the time and we haven't fallen pregnant at all. My partner always thought he may be infertile because of a previous relationship he had (his ex has now has two kids since). I have been pregnant before when I was younger which ended in miscarriage so completely aware there may be issues with myself.

We're slowly starting to take the steps to find out what/if there are issues. My partner went to his GP on Monday and they referred him to a fertility clinic in Aberdeen where he would get a semen sample. He's booked to go in a week on Friday to get this done.

I'm just wondering what the next steps are going to be for any of you who have gone through this process? I'm worrying about results and thinking of possible outcomes when I shouldn't but just want to have all the information at hand.

For extra info - I have had blood tests at 21 days, all okay. Taken ovulation tests to confirm ovulation and one of those 'boots' female fertility test - on that we have the male one too, are these worth taking at all?

Sorry for the long post. I'm just a bit lost and confused and looking for someone to talk to

[StillHoping27]

Hey @willithappen

I too found the prospect hugely daunting at first. There will be lots of tests - blood tests and scans to see of they can identify a problem. In around 20% of cases they simply can't find a cause, it's unexplained. But you'll be referred to a specialist consultant who'll probably run some more tests and then speak to you about your options such as IVF. (If you do end up going down the IVF route it's really not as scary as you might think.. and this is coming from someone who's a complete wimp and hates anything medical related!)

My advice would be to take it one step at a time. Each test or appointment is like a mini hurdle on the way to the finish line. Each of us is a unique case and each hurdle will give the doctors and consultants more information about our fertility so they can create a plan that's suitable for you. Don't worry too much about the outcomes of each test because there will be a solution suited to you X

[Onisa7]

Hi @willithappen

Its sooo confusing and daunting in the beggining isn't it? We have predominately male factor issues but I also had to go through quite a bit of investigations done myself.

IVF journey is a very individual one and it unfolds really stage by stage. I can explain a little bit about our journey (which I believe is very common) and maybe it can help you with next steps and what happens.

So we started trying june last year, nothing was happening for 6 months (I'm 38) so I went to my GP and started the investigations - FSH, LH, TSH, (for me) and semen analysis for my boyfriend. After his semen analysis came in we realised he had some issues with motility (how they move) and morphology (the shape) so I did a AMH blood test after and an internal scan (to check my tubes) so I could be refered for IVF with the NHS. These are (I think) the baseline tests you do in the beggining and that have to be done in order to be refered. its does take time to get them all done (my scan took 6 months to get booked and another 2 to get results!)

So, by April we were refered to the hospital, had our 1st appointment for funding to be approved in May and then it took another 1 month to have the 1st appointment with the Fertility doctor to discuss the treatment plan.

We started the treatment mid August and at the moment I'm on day 11 of injections and probably have my egg retrieval this weekend.

Anyway, sorry so much information but, things do take time (excrutiating time) to happen but you need to start the process with your GP and the intial investigations, keep going back to them and formally request the referal as he's the only one that can refer you to NHS (if you can access NHS funding). What the GP told us is that if it is male infertility the process is much quicker.

If you wish (and can afford) private treatments then the wait time is much less...1/2 months and you'll be set to start.

I agree with @StillHoping27 IVF is not as scary as it seems now. Try to understand YOUR situation and then the doctors will help you figure out the optimal way to go.

Good luck with everything! ;)

[willithappen]

Thanks @Onisa7

In terms of the female side of IVF how many times/things need to happen that are a bit invasive to the body? Bloods, things similar to smear/worse than?

I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to this and get really bad anxiety attack's. I'm hoping I'd be able to calm down and think of the bigger picture but it's a huge worry to me the physical side of it from the female side.

[Onisa7]

Well invasive to the body would be the blood tests, the internal scans (similar to the smear and I find them easier actually), the daily injections, the retrieval of the eggs would be vaginal as well where they'll use a probe with a needle to collect the eggs from your ovaries (but you'll be asleep during this) and then also the transfer of the embryos through a similar technique. It really isn't that invasive (I don't think) but everyone has their own views and experiences.

[StillHoping27]

@willithappen I'm the same with anxiety and a phobia of anything vaguely medical (I passed out having an eye test once it's that bad...!) but I was really surprised at how well I dealt with it. The injections I was petrified about but I promise they're absolutely fine. It's like an acupuncture needle it's so tiny you can't feel it. Maybe just do the first few lying down till you get used to it?
If I'm honest the worst part for me was the cannula for the egg collection. My anxiety was through the roof as I'd never had any procedure like that before, but it was over before you know it. In the grand scheme of things that's a couple of minutes out of several weeks so it's such a tiny part of the whole process. And if your clinic is anything like mine the nurses are the loveliest people and so understanding. Even after all these blood tests I still ask to have it done lying down!! X

[willithappen]

That's so reassuring to hear! Thank you guys!

@StillHoping27 glad to hear I'm not the only one. I feel very stupid sometimes having these desperate hopes for a baby but at the same time knowing I'd be the biggest drama queen when it comes to birth and the IVF stuff leading to it too. I've been scared to say in case anyone questions why I'm wanting to do it if I'm so bad with medical stuff!

I get anxiety and have fainted just being in the waiting room at doctors/dentist before.

However, I did recently have my smear test and have fainted with this in the past but this last time round I managed to get through it, no fuss/fainting etc. I was so so proud of myself. Maybe I can do this!

[StillHoping27]

@willithappen you can definitely do it!!

Also have you tried propranolol? Helps with the nerves before a test or appointment xx

[willithappen]

I haven't but will definitely look it up and see if it helps!

Thank you so much!