Tell me it gets better

[StillLikeAirIRise]

Today had been a difficult day.

I've started my period (of course), the first proper one since August when I had my first failed fresh round of ICSI, followed by a failed FET in October and then another failed FET in December. I'm tired of being positive and of putting a brave face on for everyone.

This week I've found out that my sister in law is pregnant (again), as are 2 friends. I'm tired of feeling like a shit person for crying at their happy news. I know their success doesn't mean It won't work for me and I hate that I feel this way.

I've got another appointment to plan the next fresh cycle on Monday and I'm terrified. Probably equally terrified that they'll tell me I'm starting again in March or that they've found something wrong and I'll never have another cycle. I hate IVF but I'm desperate to start again. I'm just so tired today, and I think I've lost the hope that has kept me going these last 3.5 years.

[Thelonggrass]

I know how you are feeling, and I really think know that your feelings towards others who are pregnant are absolutely normal, don’t feel guilty, it’s just how it is. I just don’t know how people can be pleased for others when they themselves going through infertility, I certainly couldn’t.

I do hope you feel better when you have a plan in place for the next steps. Take care.