Why does life do this to me

(5 Posts)
Donnas146 Fri 04-Jan-19 21:46:59

Sorry need to talk and have nobody to talk to except here.
Been ttc for years as you’ll know from previous posts. Sil due to give birth Any day now. I’m 2 days late, AF is pending! And I know it will never happen naturally so not getting hopes up so please no take a test. Seemed to happen last Xmas too I was two weeks late last January when I have a regular cycle and am never late so bit strange! My boobs hurt and I’ve got back ache and cramps so I know it’s just keeping me on my fuckin toes. The problem is if she has this baby which she is going to this week coming, I didn’t want to go and see her while I was on because I just know it’s gonna knock me sideways. I do get quite down every month but I know this is going to make it 100 times worse. I can’t deal. I’ve acoided most family gatherings this past 7 months because I can’t face it and the questions. I’m actually already very nervous as I can’t show any sad emotion as nobody knows and I wouldn’t want them to ( there awful people) what would you advice be? I cry quite easily so scared I will cry

OP’s posts: |
granolacrayons Sat 05-Jan-19 16:01:05

I have a similar issue with my SIL, I am feeling sick at the thought of seeing her and her newborn after my miscarriages. So I am not going to put myself through it right now.

I think you should put yourself first and don't go to visit her until you feel ready. You are having a really hard time, so please be kind to yourself. Make up an excuse to avoid visiting. Perhaps you could say you have a cold and don't want to pass it on to the baby.

hoping2018 Sun 06-Jan-19 13:25:34

Have you told her about your fertility problems? I know that is hard to do but I was so relieved when I started telling people and then could be honest that I didn't feel able to see them. Knowing the reason meant people were super kind and supportive.

Likewise I am now pregnant and my friend who has had 5 cycles of ivf has said she can't handle talking to me much - and I completely understand. I know when she gets to a better place we'll be ok x

ElektraF Thu 10-Jan-19 15:40:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fizzy13 Thu 10-Jan-19 15:54:41

Definitely be kind to yourself.
A friend just told me she is pregnant and I only just held the tears in through dinner. I will be giving her some space while I put myself back together.
It's totally reasonable to need some distance.
Exposure to chicken pox/ cold sores/ nasty colds/ tonsilitis are all things that would stop you seeing a newborn but not carrying out normal life! (assuming you're not ready to tell the truth!)

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