Only at the start of this whole thing and already miserable

[HatchetFace]

I posted the other week about some test results, high FSH (26/27) and low oestrogen. I've been having night sweats, heavy periods, short cycles etc. Since had some more tests and a doc's appointment and she agrees it looks like it could be premature ovarian insufficiency so I've been referred to the hospital so they can diagnose me properly and give me more info on my chances of getting pregnant. However I've read that most clinics won't even accept you for IVF if you FSH is over 10 so I'm assuming they won't be great.

My and my boyfriend are still in a fairly new relationship and I'm sad that we've been told this could basically be a long and difficult journey already. Plus so many of my symptoms due to odd hormone levels mimic pregnancy symptoms- sore boobs, spotting etc. It feels very cruel. My period is due today and I can feel it coming on, saw some baby clothes in boots earlier and it's made me spiral a bit.

I'm already feeling so bitter and sad and we've barely started trying, I'm going into it with a weird mix of hopefulness and hopelessness and I don't know how to handle it. All of my friends and family members that have had babies basically clicked their fingers and it happened and I just didn't think I'd be here at age 30.

Don't know why I'm posting really, I just don't have anyone I know that can relate and I don't want this jealousy and longing to invade every part of my life, but I'm not sure how to stop it.

[RyvitaBrevis]

That's so, so tough.

It's almost impossible not to feel overwhelmed while you're still processing this kind of news. Just acknowledging that you don't want to lose yourself to jealousy or bitterness is a really good step. I know 'one day at a time' is a cliche but it helps to try to focus on the present.

[GoodStuffToFind]

Hi OP I just wanted to offer some support and say that you're not alone. Life can be very unfair at times and for you to be facing this at 30 sounds really difficult. I'm 32 and I'm having similar issues but we've also discovered DHs sperm has severe fragmentation.

I can completely understand that feeling of not wanting it to take over your life and also the spiralling feeling when you see something that makes you feel sad.

What I can say is that I'm not too far into this journey but il feeling much better than before, feeling a bit more positive about the situation and our options and less panicked. Has your consultant explained options to you?