Me and my DH have been TTC for 4 years, had 2 rounds of ICSI, first failed in Dec 16, second successful April 17 but unfortunately it wasnt to be and had MMC.
It was a bit drawn out as i had no bleeding or anything for weeks so had an MVA procedure which it turns out failed so got booked in for a D & C but it happened at home naturally a few days before.
That was 3 weeks ago now. I had 2 weeks off work when we initially found out and had the MVA but been back at work since, its been tough and i work with children which has made it harder but no one at work knows except my manager so i just carry on as normal.
The trainee is due the same time as i would of been and its been hard seeing her every day at the same stage, since being bck at work a few of the parents have announced their second pregnancies and ive found it hard to hear but put on a brave face and been ok.
Last night i got a suprise message from a friend, a perfect little 12 week scan pic, i wasnt expecting it, didnt realise she wanted children and i just broke down in a pile of tears.
My DH asked what was wrong and i showed him the pic, he put his arm round me and didnt say anything then off he went, he seemed annoyed that i had got upset about it and when i asked he said you do this everytime i dont know what you want me to do about it prehaps you should see someone.
So then i just felt silly for getting so upset, did i over react? I do feel sad when i hear announcements but its only when its a friend that i find i get upset.
I dont cry in their face or anything i smile and say the right things then have my cry at home. Does anyone else do this or is it just me? It just really hurts and feels so unfair how it happens for people so easily and my MC still feels quite raw i just couldnt help it i sobbed.
I think its also because im now the only one in our friend group without children now, i guess i just feel jealous and left out.
I thought i was doing quite well all things considered, i have tried to get bck to normal with work, days out etc... even if i havent felt like it, ive still carried on as normal and dont moan. Ive had the odd tearful moment but its not like its everyday, and after everything my hormones must be all over the place surely i'm entitled to some wobbles its been a lot to deal with.
He did later say sorry for getting annoyed and if i want to talk to him i can but i know all i will do is end up crying so what's the point.
I know he was as devastated as me when we were told about the MC but he just seems to have gone back to normal so quickly, where as i still feel sad about it.
I guess everyone is different but ive felt sad and on edge all day now and i dont know if thats reasonable or not, should i just embrace my miserableness or should i man up and suck it in?!
Any advice/experiences/words of wisdom would be much appreciated xxx
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Am i over reacting to baby bombs?
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Hope2409 · 04/07/2017 17:01
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