Secondary infertility - first visit to GP

[Mammabear31]

Hi all,

I'm new to this section of MN, and to be honest I'm a bit scared of posting here because of what it means....I'm sorry I don't mean to offend anyone at all, I just never thought I'd be in this position.

Brief history - DS1 is nearly 4, conceived first time with him and a miscarriage 2 months prior. Had coil removed in March last year and started ttc straight away. Over the past 11 cycles we've tried everything - cut out alcohol and improved our diet, had sex alot/not alot, I'm taking alot of vitamins and supplements including agnus castus and CoQ10, and I've had 2 sessions of acupuncture (with another booked for next week). I am now on day 5 of cycle 12 and at the end of my rope. I'm really struggling to cope this month, more so than any other and I'm not sure why.

I have a GP appointment booked for Monday to ask about testing for kidney problems (historical but no impact on ttc) and I'm going to ask about an ultrasound while I'm there to check my ovaries/uterus. I have managed to convince myself that I've got something wrong due to the EMCS I had to have for DS, and that's why nothing we are doing is working.

I feel totally out of control, and I HATE it - I need to know why I can't get pregnant, especially as I fell so easily before. More so than ever now I have to know. Is the GP going to laugh me out of the office?

I'm not sure what I want or need out of this post - I guess I just need to write this all down somewhere and get it all out - no-one understands the pain of not being able to provide your child with a desperately wanted sibling; and I'm just told I'm lucky to have 1 - I KNOW I AM! That doesn't make it any easier when DS is always asking why he doesn't have a brother or sister when all his friends and cousins have one or two. How do you explain all of this to a nearly 4 year old??? He doesn't understand and it breaks my heart every time.

I'm really rambling now and I'm sorry.