2yrs ntnp, 1 year actively trying, now 3 failed Clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycles...

[Snowdog37]

I feel like it's never going to happen. Not even a sniff of a bfp (unless I was testing out the ovidrel trigger) and it's starting to get me down. I'm 38, DH is 45, I've got very low amh and he's got an amazing high sperm count and good motility, but his morphology is 1-3%. We just did 3 Clomid/ovidrel/IUI cycles. The first two were ok, but this last one has been a shitshow pardon my French. The first 5 days of Clomid did nothing so they stair stepped me for a second 5 days. That produced two excellent follies but my bloodwork was all over the place and they felt I might have already ovulated so they cancelled the ovidrel/IUI. My cycle is usually 24-25 days, and I got to cd34 until they scanned me again, and did more bloodwork. My hormones all show I'm back to below baseline and won't have a period without help, so I'm on 200mg Prometrium. I took the first dose 2 days ago and within 12 hours I had the worst migraine headache I've ever had. And diarrhea. Delightful. Had to leave work early and spend the rest of the last 24hrs in bed/the bathroom as the headache hasn't gone away despite taking painkillers. I haven't taken any more Prometrium as I'm going to call my dr today and ask if it's really necessary. One dose made me feel drunk and then so very ill 😖😣. But I need my period to start! Our next cycle will be using injectables (gonal F and menopur I think) and ovidrel and IUI again. Hopefully that will be successful. Clomid was quite frankly awful. Sent me crazy and didn't really help, and totally messed up this cycle.
Thank you if you've just read my pity party for one. It's so hard dealing with all this, I just want a baby! Why is it so easy for some and so bloody hard for me? It's even harder because dear friends are on to baby two or three, and I get baby bombed almost weekly, and always get "so when are you guys going to get sprogged up?" We are bloody trying. Ugh.

[anoos09]

hi,
I know it is difficult time. You are trying your best. so relax. stressing out wont help either. Around 85% couples conceive normally in first year of trying. no one knows why not 100%. It just the nature or each individual is different. try not to concentrate much on other's comments, people comment without thinking its impact or not knowing the reality. Just believe in it and try to be cheerful. best wishes