Multiple failed attemps at ICSI

[SanFranDreaming]

Hello everyone, I am an occasional reader of mumsnet but don't usually contribute. Today, however is a really low day and I am looking for some support and advice.

Here is my story.....
3 years since we first began TTC, with initial tests after approx 9 months showing some mild male factor issues (low motility, good numbers).
ICSI #1 - 7 eggs, 1 eSET day 3, nil frozen - BFN
ICSI #2 - 7eggs, 1 eSET 5AA blast, 1 4AA blast frozen BFN
FET #1 - chemical pregnancy

ICSI #3 - 14 eggs. 2 embryos put back day 5, 1 x 4CC and one day 5 not quite blast/morula. Awaiting to see if further morula suitable for freezing.

Today I had the 2 embryos put back but I am so disappointed at their quality. Very poor, and I am not holding out much hope, partic when our top quality blastocyst gave me a BFN last time.

I am so bloody fed up of this rollercoaster, and not sure if I can take much more. My DH is amazing and very supportive, but I feel very negative today.

Can anyone advise if they had similar stories/journeys with a positive result?
Has anyone had embryos that have varied significantly in quality between cycles?
Thanks in anticipation
X

[KyloRenNeedsTherapy]

SanFran, so sorry to hear what you've been through and continue to go through .

I had 3 IVF cycles:

1st one, 9 eggs, 4 embryos, 2 put back, 2 frozen, BFP, twins m/c at 8 weeks

2nd cycle, cancelled due to surprise BFP midway through. M/c 6 weeks.

3rd cycle, only 2 eggs, one embryo created, 2 Frosties defrosted but neither survived. . Felt exactly like you and nearly refused to have my single embryo transferred as was so despondent.

That single embryo turned 8 this month.

I truly wish this will be your story too xx

[cheapredwine]

I'm so sorry you feel so low OP. Have all your cycles been at the same clinic? What do they say about the issues and have they had suggestions (and put into action) some tweaks to your protocol and overall approach. If they aren't or haven't done that I'd question them. Are they sure it's a straight forward male factor problem?

[SanFranDreaming]

Kyloren - thank you for sharing your story. Hearing this does give me hope, and I know I need to try to stay positive.

Cheapredwine - out first round was a very good private clinic and our second 2 NHS. Both get good results.
I have been investigated extensively including NK tests with Prof Quenby, both had karyotyping/genetic tests, endometrial scratches, injectable progesterone, clexane. The works!

The only thing we have not had is a DNA fragmentation test. Which I suspect is next.
I know that I have 2 embryos on board and need to be more positive!

[Mothersruin75]

So sorry you feel low.

I had 3 rounds of icsi plus 2 fet. My third and final icsi my clinic transferred a day 3 embryo that looked great (but they all looked good). Day 5 they phoned and said the quality of my embryos had really deterioated and I could decide whether or not to come in to have the best of a bad bunch transferred. When we got to the clinic the embryologist was explaining it really didn't look good and we should look into the sperm fragmentation test but it looked likely donor sperm would be needed. I cried through out the transfer and for most of the 2ww. The outcome, positive pregnancy test, DTs fast asleep in other room. When I went for my follow up I remember my lovely doctor telling me that no one believes him when he says the embryos don't have to be great quality to take. Take it easy on yourself, wishing you every luck.

[cheapredwine]

Ack, OP am sorry, seems like you're covering an awful lot of bases already then. I really don't know much about MF, am sorry, but yep, DNA Fragmentation would seem a logical next step. As easy as it is for me to say, I'd try to park the worry about next steps until you knnow where you are in 10 days or so. There's nothing you can do right now and you can pick this up again really quickly if you need to, but fingers crossed you won't. Wishing you all the very best and hope the 2ww goes quickly and smoothly for you

[KyloRenNeedsTherapy]

How are you doing SanFran?

[NotSpartacus]

My clinic gave me grades for my embryos but said not to fixate on the grades. The best looking embryo in the world can be abnormal and sometimes ugly embryos make perfect babies.

If it doesn't work, have you thought about PGS? I had a transfer on Tuesday too, and if it doesn't work I think we will call it a day, but otherwise PGS would be our next port of call.

Lots of luck.

[SanFranDreaming]

Hi,
I am doing ok. Making plans for a negative outcome, which I know is not great, but it is my survival mode.
I am aware there is a chance.
My husband is fantastic, and we have been talking about the next steps.
I just never thought I could be sitting with 3 failed cycles behind us.
However, we are where we are, and we might pay to see Dr Ramsay (urologist/male factor specialist) in London. Anyone have any experience with him?

I am willing to do more rounds, but would like my husband properly assessed first of all. We would consider IMSI too xx