Infertility wows

[Pod85]

Hi all,
I just wanted to have a little rant... I'm 35 and have been trying for a baby with my husband for nearly 5 years now and still nothing. I am on clomid now and have two more cycles left before IVF. I have been checked and all is fine and my husband is good but nothing is happening. I have been coping ok with it for a while but now it is getting so hard. 90% of my friends have either had a baby or on their second now, i go and visit them, smile, cuddle and then come away broken but i am genuinely happy for them but i just think when is it our turn . I have had two breakdowns in the past month about it and now each day when i come to work ( i am at work now) i cant stop thinking about it all. I google every symptom in the hope that maybe it will mean i will be pregnant. I have been told that it could be stress related and i am a worrier but then i think i will always be. My poor mum was diagnosed with dementia last year and she is only in her 60's and that has been really hard and now i feel even more need to get regnant quickly as i want the baby to come while she is aware. She has always been excited for me to had kids and my mum has always been like a best friend to me, so i am gutted that i am still failing each month to fall pregnant. Is anyone else going through this at all? how are you dealing with everyone else around you having babies?