Thinking about trying donor eggs - anyone able to share their experiences?

[Disastronaut]

I'm 43, I'm on my 6th round of IVF trying to conceive a second child (DD1 born in 2013 after 2 rounds). It's not working, obviously, and we're pretty desperate. Today a friend told me about three of her friends who went to clinics in Spain and got pregnant using donor eggs after failed IVF here.

Is there anyone out there that's done that? Especially old ladies like me? How long did it take for a suitable donor to be found? How many rounds did it take? I'd be really grateful for any first hand info.

[Queenmarigold]

Sorry you're going through this. No direct exp here but I know many people who successfully had ivf abroad in Greece. It was cheaper and now they have twins!

[Disastronaut]

Aw, thanks. Two of the three my friend told me about ended up with twins (I'd be happy with one!)

[BottomleyPottsSpots]

I wanted to wish you luck.

My new year's resolution is to be an egg donor (in the UK, not abroad though) and I've spent a long time reading the fertility friends donor egg message boards.

They seem to be very busy and a font of knowledge e.g. they have threads running for individual clinics / countries as well as the general donor conception board.

[Disastronaut]

That's an amazing thing to do! Hope it all goes smoothly. And I've registered with fertility friends - thanks

[Jelliebabe1]

I'm now 41 with soundly sleeping (fingers xd) 3 month old twins upstairs. I went to Gennet in Prague but ask me anything! We had 2 rounds of ivf and this was my first go at DE ivf. This was the third donor we were offered. We were doing our last OE round for the first and the second wasnt quite the right time. Our donor was just right at the right time! Just message me if you want further info!

[Pocket1]

I was 45 when I fell pregnant with DD (third round of DE ivf). 46 when I had her so it is still very possible for you!

I was having fertility treatment here http://hsfc.org.uk and saw the amazing Dr Venkat. I found my own donor on fertility friends - it's definitely a place for donor advice for UK or abroad.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

[Disastronaut]

Jellie & Pocket - thank you so much for replying, I was starting to think I'd drawn a blank with MNetters who'd actually done it!

I'd like to ask you both how long the process took, say, from your first consultation to your BFP? Did finding a donor take a long time, both in Prague and here?

Having had so much IVF with my own (apparently rubbish) eggs, I'm really exhausted with the process. So if we're going to do this, I want to just go and get it over with, the thought of a very long waiting period makes me want to lie down in a darkened room!

I'd like to ask one very personal question too, if that's ok. Please feel free to tell me to get lost if it's too difficult though. Did you struggle with the idea that your baby/babies would not share your genetic material? I think maybe I'm a bit scared that I would feel...something sad, or lacking or wrong. Does that make sense? Maybe I'd be so delighted that I was finally pregnant that I'd never give it a thought.

Many thanks for your posts.

[OneMoreForExtra]

Hi Disastronaut and sorry you've had to go through this. I had DS, now 5, from DE IVF cycle in Serum, Athens, when I was 42. The experience is totally unlike UK fertility clinics. The most complicated thing is the travel, which isn't at all complicated but needs to be fitted round work. You don't have to wait for anything really, there's no waiting list, although obviously you need to do preliminary tests and checks on yourself and your DP if you have one, and then downreg and get your cycle synced with your donor. But you could be pregnant by Easter (obviously if if if). The biggest thing to know is that the strict donor anonymity laws in Greece mean you don't choose your donor, but the lovely medical director Penny does the matching very carefully.

I had all the same fears about a DE family being somehow incomplete or 2nd best, and it was a complete mindfuck when it worked. But they are as insubstantial as a dream now. DS is utterly mine, we are the tightest unit you could imagine, and I am forever grateful to our donor for this incredible gift of motherhood. I wish I could show her how wonderful DS is. I send Penny photos and take him to see her instead!

Very good luck with your decision!

[Disastronaut]

OneMore: that's such a reassuring post, thank you. 'As insubstantial as a dream' is a lovely way of dismissing those worries about how the baby's 'made'.

And the words 'pregnant by easter' made my stomach do a flip (if, if, IF, I know). I'll check out your clinic.

Thanks again.

[Pocket1]

Hi

Roughly our timings were. 

Month 1. Found our donor 
Month 2.  formal clinic tests and approval that we were a match
Month 3/4.  for ivf process, egg collection, transfer
Month 4/5. BFP 

So 4/5 months in total. 

I posted on FF not knowing what to expect - and I had numerous wonderful ladies offer their help. All altruistic. None of them wanting anything in return. They just wanted to help me. Although my donor was anonymous we did swap a few messages on FF and she just seemed kind, caring and genuine (nice traits in a DD of my own). As a mum already she had proven fertility, which was a positive sign. 

And I totally agree with Onemore - DD is 100% mine. I could not love her more. She is the centre of my universe. And many people say she looks like me too which is just a bonus.

Does your current clinic offer DE ivf?

I'd recommend you phone a few clinics and ask their waiting times and process. You'll get the feeling for who you do and don't like. 

Good luck. Message me if you want any more help. And keep us posted. 

[OneMoreForExtra]

A reply I posted yesterday seems to have been eaten by the internet gremlins, so here's the gist! Agree with Pocket about the very knowledgeable and supportive FF DE IVF community, and there are boards for most clinics abroad, including Serum, which you can read to get a sense of their work and then join for support when you do your cycle. You're very welcome to pm me if you like. Pockets's timeline looks pretty good, factoring in another month if you need any interventions beforehand which they are very careful about, to give you the best chance of success.

[Disastronaut]

Thanks loads Pocket and Extra. Really useful info. Heading over to FF to start investigating properly. I'll pop back up if anything exciting happens!

[alockie]

Hi Disastronaut, hope this helps you investigate more eggdonationfriends com
Good luck with yr search

[Blondeshavemorefun]

i went to ivi in spain tho used own eggs but know of 2 people who used de at ivi madrid

[Blondeshavemorefun]

def cheaper abroad normal ivi and de ivf

[mynameischalice]

Hello I'm about to embark on egg donation in Prague. Does anyone have any tips for making this an easier process? The clinic seems really good and professional, but if I manage to conceive I will be a 47 year old mother. I spend my days looking at women with toddlers wondering how old they are... Any one got any tip - apart from having plastic surgery when I'm in Prague as well :)

[Beebeautiful]

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck.
I've been TTC for 18 years and after 3 failed IVF attempts I have an appointment today to discuss donor eggs. It's really not the road I saw myself going down but I'm desperate to be a mum so this seems my last option.

Good luck