Just wanted to share this as I'm hoping others on here have been in the same situation. DH and I have been married for 3 months, together for just over 2 years and have a DD (my DSD), 7, who is with us regularly but not full time. We are both 37. DH had a vasectomy shortly after his DD was born while still married to her mother, but got it reversed last year as we both want more children together (we talked about this on our second date!). We paid for the VR privately, despite not being very well off, and we're fully expecting it to work, feel a bit silly about that now.
DH got the results in April and was told by his GP that there is no hope of us being able to conceive naturally. We have had no contact from the private clinic or the surgeon since the day of the op, which seems pretty shoddy aftercare, but we don't have the energy to deal with that along with everything else. Anyway, we have decided that there's no way we can afford IVF (and feel a bit weird about it anyway after the VR experience). We'd like to adopt and both feel that is the right thing to do, but feel a bit exhausted with everything right now. DH has lost both his father and grandfather to cancer in the past year so things have been pretty horrible for him all round.
I feel totally lost, my friends are all having wonderful healthy babies just now and I'm delighted for them, but I feel so sad for us. We are trying to look on the positive side and to just enjoy being married for a while before we start any adoption process, despite knowing that that might take years. I'm trying to get used to the idea that I'll never be pregnant, I think I'm ok with it - I don't see any reason why I won't be able to bond beautifully with any child in my care and DH feels the same, but there's a weird feeling of disbelief in me that I can't shake. Are we going through a grieving process? Has anyone else dealt with this?
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Infertility
Dealing with being told we can't conceive natrually
3 replies
randombanana · 05/07/2015 14:20
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