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Referral/NHS treatment/finding out eligibility criteria

(11 Posts)
tryingforsolong Wed 11-Sep-13 09:44:22

I have just picked up a referral letter from my GP and its the NHS choices appointment booking system, asking me to choose from 4 hospitals (all over 20 miles away, as my local PCT/hospital does not fund any treatment).

Briefly, we have already been referred to one of them, over two years ago, and after having all the blood tests, semen analysis, appt with nurse, then wait 12 weeks for appt with Consultant, he told us there was no reason we can't get pregnant, but as my DH has a son from a previous relationship, we were not eligible for NHS treatment. If we wished to continue, we would need to pay upfront for IVF.

We can't afford to do that. I'm now 40 and still not pg. I went to my GP and she gave me clomid for 3 months, which hasnt worked, so she said she would refer me to gynaecology.

How do I find out criteria for each hospital? I cant believe I'm saying this, but I feel so desperate, if we lie and say we have no children, will they be able to check this?

Is it worth going through all this again, only to be told the same?

Its so unfair. We have been trying for almost 5 years.

I've been googling all morning and found some interesting information, but most of it is out of date.

Could we appeal the decision? Is it worth appealing? How do I find out where to appeal?

This is our last hope and the hopelessness has hit me really hard.

Thanks for reading this.

JustWant1 Wed 11-Sep-13 11:25:22

Sorry to hear this. I know it's incredibly hard.
Did you ever have any other tests done? Any scans or dye tests etc? You need to demand answers; it may be that ur partner has a child but you don't. Ask ur doctor to test you for pcos, pco, underactive thyroid, endometriosis etc most of these can be picked up via scans and blood tests. You need to find out why it's not happening and will need to have tests done to rule out any possibilities. The scans and bloods don't cost much so if u don't get anywhere then why not go private for those.
Alternatively I have heard acupuncture has been great for some people. It will help u relax if nothing else so why not try that?
Hope everything works out for u xx

tryingforsolong Wed 11-Sep-13 11:56:18

thank you justwant1.

Yes, I've had HSG, bloods but over 3 years ago now. DH had SA at the same time. All came back normal.

I am struggling to find answers about criteria though. My heads spinning, its all a bit too much for me today. I'm usually quite positive.

JustWant1 Wed 11-Sep-13 15:10:24

You will have days when you just the whole world to p off and other days which are better. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed all day. But you have to be positive. If I were you I would lie to be honest. That might not be the right thing to do buy not everyone can afford IVF that doesn't meant we don't deserve a baby. What does ur doctor suggest?

tryingforsolong Wed 11-Sep-13 16:36:26

My GP is useless. I'm going to try and do some further research before I choose and book the appt, but I have a gut feeling we won't be eligible. Maybe I need to concentrate my efforts on the appeals process?

Today has been a crap day, but like you say I have to try and stay positive.

lostinsouth Thu 12-Sep-13 13:35:59

Hi tryingforsolong. It's such a frustrating time and finding out the relevant information seems and getting a straight answer seems so hard at times. Take a look at the infertilitynetworkuk website. They have all the funding criteria for all the various NHS regions along with helpful letter templates if you need to make appeals. Hope this helps.

HoopHopes Fri 13-Sep-13 21:39:33

Do book the appointment and ASAP as it still takes a while til you see someone. Even if they will not treat they will still do all the tests and maybe diagnose something that is treatable or fixable that does not need assisted fertility which can help.

tryingforsolong Wed 18-Sep-13 14:42:09

So upset today. Still not booked appt, but all my research has confirmed that my CCG does not offer IVF to couples where either already has a child.

I dont know what to do. Do I book an appt and go and tell them I want to know why my body wont get pregnant ie more tests. Do we go and say we're desperate, beg, but get turned down and walk away knowing there is nothing left for us to do? Do we lie and say we have no children?

I sound crazy, but my head is all over the place. It's so upsetting, after 5 years of hoping, suddenly I feel like its all ending and I'll never be a Mum.

HoopHopes Thu 19-Sep-13 23:51:15

Hi definitely book an appointment. I know when we went down Ivf route a few years ago no counties around here offered Ivf to couples with a child, or too high a BMI and other criteria ( I had to lose weight, though thankfully not too much!). But even if they cannot do Ivf they can still do useful tests, they can do things like unblock Fallopian tubes if that is an issue etc. they can diagnose and suggest routes forwards so worth going.

ohfourfoxache Tue 24-Sep-13 19:59:23

Trying I hope you're as OK as you can be.

Sadly as you are 40 no CCG will fund assisted conception, so unfortunately even if you say that you don't have children it won't make a difference. I know that the NICE guidelines say that treatment should be offered up to the age of 42, but as this isn't legally binding there isn't a CCG in the land that has implemented this in their policy.

Hoop is spot on - there are some hospitals that will accept you onto their books for tests (but be careful as this is by no means all of them - research this first before you waste any precious time).

I'm going to PM you

tryingforsolong Wed 25-Sep-13 09:50:17

thank you ohfourfoxache so much. thanks

All the information available is very confusing and although I realise we will not be entitled to IVF/ICSI, trying to find out what tests are available and if its worth pursuing this any further has got to be the way forward for us.

Apart from the feelings of despair, hopelessness and my worst fear (that I'll never be a Mum) becoming more of a reality, the lack of information to help us make an informed decision is so frustrating.

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