Home Education

[christmasboysx2]

I'm considering lots of options at the moment, and I'm seriously thinking about home educating my primary school age children longer-term. Does anyone know where I start with this? I'm excited but nervous. I want to do it properly! Thanks for any information.

[jasmin2015]

hi i am doing this too now x

[jasmin2015]

look on Facebook
for your local groups and advice x

[stoptheride]

I am also heading down this path. I have found a couple of HE groups in the local area. I've had a conversation with the deputy head at the school and made him aware of our intentions. He was supportive and he is aware of the struggles my son has faced at school - he has a diagnosis of Autism. Facebook is full of useful info on home educating, I wish you luck x

[Saracen]

Local home ed groups are a good place to start. Whenever it's possible to have face-to-face chats, you can talk to lots of people at some length about what it looks like for them and get all your questions answered. Home education looks different for every family. There's no "right way" to do it. So be sure to talk to various people - with luck you will soon find some people whose views resonate with you, so you think, "Yes, I could imagine doing it in a similar way. I would be comfortable with that. That sounds like it would be fun and would suit my children's personalities and mine."

It's nice to talk to people with similar-aged children to see what they are doing now, and because their kids are potential friends for your kids. It's also useful to talk to people whose children are older than yours to see how it turned out for them.

A great many home educators are heavily involved in local HE activities and have HE friends, so it is good to know what is on offer locally. Is there a strong HE community? Are there many people who are similar to you and your children? Are there many social and educational activities to join in with which are within your budget? Will they be accessible to you? (Especially relevant if you don't drive.)

Good luck!

[christmasboysx2]

Thank you everyone. I've found a good Facebook group and will go from there!

[Tippertant]

@Saracen

Local home ed groups are a good place to start. Whenever it's possible to have face-to-face chats, you can talk to lots of people at some length about what it looks like for them and get all your questions answered. Home education looks different for every family. There's no "right way" to do it. So be sure to talk to various people - with luck you will soon find some people whose views resonate with you, so you think, "Yes, I could imagine doing it in a similar way. I would be comfortable with that. That sounds like it would be fun and would suit my children's personalities and mine."

It's nice to talk to people with similar-aged children to see what they are doing now, and because their kids are potential friends for your kids. It's also useful to talk to people whose children are older than yours to see how it turned out for them.

A great many home educators are heavily involved in local HE activities and have HE friends, so it is good to know what is on offer locally. Is there a strong HE community? Are there many people who are similar to you and your children? Are there many social and educational activities to join in with which are within your budget? Will they be accessible to you? (Especially relevant if you don't drive.)

Good luck!

Saracen is right about there being no single way to Home Ed, and that it's useful to talk to people who are actually doing it, to see what seems as though it might suit you.

I would add a couple of things, just from my own experience. Mine, now 13 and 12, have never attended school and are doing pretty well, but there has been - as I think is quite normal - a fair bit of angst on the way, mainly around hotspots when it may be an 'obvious' time to reassess educational choices, e.g. starting secondary school age, beginning of KS4, etc.

Firstly, there often initially seems to be a ‘dominant’ approach in Home Ed groups you encounter online or in person. This approach may well be your bag, in which case you’ll hopefully find your feet quickly. But if it’s not, then it can feel as though there’s a pressure to adopt a way of home educating that may not work either for your children or for you and your values. This is probably a reflection on your newness to the community rather than any domineering attitudes on their part, as it can feel important to conform when you’re at a stage when the support of a network is really vital, particularly as these people are the ‘experts’ (or at least experienced in a way that you are emphatically not) .

So as Saracen says, when you’re starting out, aim to seek out a range of these groups, and see which you’re most aligned with at this stage, don’t be disheartened if the biggest local voices don’t chime with how you think you might approach things – there will likely be plenty of other Home Educators around who are just a bit quieter and less prominent at first.

I’m in London, where the Home Ed community is huge (so this may be different in other regions) and it’s worth noting that while there is a fair bit of mixing of different styles of Home Educating families in certain popular organised sessions such as sports groups and museum outings and so forth, people choose HE for a range of reasons, and do tend to hang out with their ‘tribe’ for socialising and informal learning sessions (and tend to sign up for the same courses and trips as their friends). Basically, there is the wider Home Ed community, but within that are a number of smaller communities who share a similar ethos and approach.

While I’m on the subject of different motivations and different approaches, it’s probably worth thinking in advance about into which of these you’re likely to gravitate towards and which you’ll run a mile from.

In broad brushstrokes *, the main groups are (and I mean this affectionately and a little tongue-in-cheek):

- The parents who are religious and Home Educate either to centralise their faith in their children’s education; or sometimes because they object to the secular education available; or their choice of schools are either Ofsted rated ‘Good’ ones which are of a faith not their own, or secular ones which are Ofsted rated ’Requires Improvement’, neither of which appeal.).

• The hippyish parents who object to what they term the “sausage factory” of schools, and tend to favour an unstructured approach, usually with a heavy emphasis on creativity and the natural world.

• The parents of children with SEN who feel they have little choice but to Home Ed, as their kids just aren’t supported by the school system. They mostly use resources and activities tailored to the specific needs of their children.

• The parents of children who have really struggled at school with bullying or other issues. They often mirror the National Curriculum and a ‘school at home’ approach, but sometimes move more towards ‘unschooling’.

• The political anti-establishment parents who are deeply suspicious of what they see as the authoritarian nature of state education. They can go either way - towards bushcraft and willow weaving or else full on Latin conjunctions before breakfast.

• The ‘fell into it’ parents, who ended up Home Educating because of house moves, waiting for a school place to come up, etc. They are likely to mirror the National Curriculum and a ‘school at home’ approach at least at first, but then often drift towards another tribe.

• The ‘Tiger Parents’ who are tightly focused on academic achievement, and tend to use a lot of classes, textbooks and online resources following a very timetabled approach that mirrors the National Curriculum, often sitting exams and other qualifications at quite early ages.

I was going to preface the above with ,“no judgement, everyone does things differently in the way that works for their kids, which is the beauty of Home Ed” and this is true. But it’s probably also a bit disingenuous as of course there’s judgement there, that’s human nature. I think that the way I do is HE is best, obviously, as otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it in the way that I do it. . I think everyone just keeps their judgements to themselves for the most part though, which means that the wider community can rub along together just fine.

All of that said, however, remember that your Home Education style will evolve as you get more experienced and confident, and as your children develop and their needs possibly change. There’s many a home educator who started out with a timetable and a million textbooks that later softened into something much more fluid. Likewise, there’s plenty who threw themselves into barefoot-in-the-forest approach at the outset, but later moved towards a more structured approach. This is both normal and fine, and I’d say a positive thing. It’s better to be flexible, reflective and responsive to what is working for the children and for you, than to stick grimly to an ideology that may no longer be serving you well.

Good luck on your Home Ed journey!

* Of course, in reality, huge swathes of Home Educators mix and match aspects of all of these, depending on a range of factors.

[christmasboysx2]

I am so grateful that you took the time to explain all this to me. I've been feeling a bit unsure of things over the last couple of days.

Over lockdown we have hugely enjoyed structured school work in the mornings, followed by child led (mainly outdoors) activities in the afternoon. I feel like I would want to follow the National Curriculum and have a timetable to some degree - but I worry this may go against the grain. As you say though, I may well want to soften my approach with time.

Hopefully I will find similar minded people.

Thanks.

[Tippertant]

Doubting your decision to Home Ed is absolutely standard, and will flare up on a regular basis!

Sounds as though you're already starting to find a groove that works for you - that's a great start. As you start to join more groups (and importantly, activities, when things are up and running again) you'll be able to get a feel for those families who seem to be of a similar approach to you.

I should say though, if you attend things like sports groups where there is a big mix of families with different approaches, your kids will likely make friends with children who do HE very differently to you, and this is quite nice, too! We're pretty structured in our approach, but we have some fantastic friends who are very much of the playing-a-wooden-whistle-fashioned-by-hand- themselves-in-the-morning-dew variety of education. What works for our kids and our families is very different, but that doesn't mean we dont like each other and don't get on!

[christmasboysx2]

Thank you

[Saracen]

Watching your own kids and observing what does and doesn't work for them (and for you!) is the most important part of the process. You'll notice all sorts of things as time goes on: What subjects interest them? Do they like to sit down with books, and if so what time of day is ideal and for how long? Do they like discussions with you and each other? Will they enjoy educational workshops, and if so what sort? How often do they like to see other children, do they like to play in big groups or with one friend at a time, what type of child do they gravitate towards? What makes them grumpy and can that be prevented?

As I see it, education is just an aspect of parenting. Getting to know your own children as learners is key. That takes time, and HE parents usually experiment a fair bit as they become attuned to their children's needs. That experimentation is completely fine and normal and should not be taken as a sign that you are "getting it wrong".

[Neome]

Hi christmasboysx2 I’m wrestling with this decision too.

I’ve been moving towards it for a long time and feel very confident about what to do or not do educationally but a lot less so about taking the step of deregistering from a lovely school especially when we’ve just got an EHCP...

[Jigglypuff2]

Can I jump in on this thread too. I am considering it for one year, for my soon to be year 6 child.

I am interested in what notice I need to give the existing School?

Can I let them know in September? Or say 2 weeks before the return to school?

I started another thread.

Also once you start home education can you restart main stream schooling again?

When you do leave school to homeschool does that mean the school give you a report on your child?

[redjusplease]

Oh @Tippertant your wooden-flute-morning-dew-frolickers sound like just the tribe I'm looking for...wish you could make an introduction! 😂

[Saracen]

Hi @Jigglypuff2

I've had a look at your other thread. Sounds like your mind is made up to home ed for at least the beginning of Y6, and I can see why!

You don't need to give any notice to start home education. (It's different in Scotland, where the consent of the LA must be sought. In all other UK countries you simply send in a letter.) You can send the deregistration letter as late as the first day of term.

Advantages of deregistering now: Your son will feel more relaxed knowing the decision is made and he is definitely free of that stressful classroom environment. If friends and relatives see your decision has already been made, they won't try so hard to talk you out of your decision to home ed: many people want to share their ill-informed opinions about HE and you might find that very wearing. It would be considerate to let the school know sooner so they can plan better for the autumn term.

Advantage of delaying deregistration: you can postpone dealing with the LA's Elective Home Education team. The school must inform the LA that your son has been withdrawn for home education. Most LAs make contact quite quickly to ask parents about their educational provision. Some LAs are very heavy-handed and make unreasonable demands of parents. You don't have to comply with any such demands, but can instead write back to "remind" them of the law. There are forums where experienced home educators will be glad to help you with this. At some point it will probably be advisable to send in a short report describing what you have been doing. So, the longer you wait to deregister, the more time you have to get stuck in to home ed, join the support forums, find your feet and think about what you'll want to write in the report. It isn't a big deal, but delaying buys you a couple of hassle-free months.

Yes, you can return to school at any time. You mentioned in your other thread that there are plenty of vacancies in your son's year group so that won't be an issue. If his old school were full you would have to send him to a different one.

Schools don't give reports on children who leave. Anyway from your other thread it sounds like the teacher isn't even sure who your son is, so I can't imagine they'd be in any position to tell you anything you don't know about him! Your own observations of your son are bound to be more accurate than what the school has recorded. Even if he'd had a clued-up and highly involved teacher, they'd have been dealing with dozens of kids in a busy classroom and would only have known your son for six months. You have him one-to-one with plenty of time to focus on him and discover what he really understands and what he is capable of. Many parents discover a huge discrepancy between what the school thinks their child can do and what the child actually knows. You can request your son's records, which they must provide to you on demand, but I understand these are usually quite piecemeal.

Good luck with it! I am sure it will go well for you and that your son will have a relaxing year learning more than he did at school.

[christmasboysx2]

This has been such a helpful thread! Thank you.

[christmasboysx2]

Good luck to everyone else starting this next chapter too.

[Fuebomba0]

Why can’t you send him into school? Schools more beneficial than HE

[Saracen]

@Fuebomba0 could you explain why you think that?

[BillywilliamV]

Children need to be in school!
Home educating is almost always for the benefit of the parent!
It gives the parent an excuse not to mix in the normal adult world!
Children need to be with other children!

[Fuebomba0]

[quote Saracen]@Fuebomba0 could you explain why you think that?[/quote]
They get socialised etc and home education isn't all this amazing thing

[Saracen]

Surveys carried out by home ed charities indicate that the top reason parents are removing children from school these days is because their children's special needs aren't being met there. When I first started 16 years ago, bullying was the top reason. In such cases, parents do not actively choose home education, but feel forced into it because their children are deeply unhappy and the parents have been banging their heads against a brick wall for several years trying unsuccessfully to resolve matters at school. Many parents have to make great sacrifices to home educate, and it's quite insulting to say they are doing it out of selfishness.

Children's experiences of socialising at school are often not positive. There are typically plenty of opportunities to make friends and learn social skills elsewhere.

I was lucky to be able to make a choice to home educate simply because I thought it would suit my kids better, rather than because I was forced into it. My eldest was a very sociable kid, which was actually one of my main reasons for not sending her to school! I was pretty sure the teachers wouldn't let her chat and play with her friends all day, which was what she wanted and needed. (Were you never told at school, "We are not here to socialise, young lady"?) She did try school for a short while at the age of ten, then chose to return to home education. She had several reasons for this, the main ones being that school was socially restrictive and took up all her time. She's now 20 and remains one of the most social people I know, with many friends of all ages and backgrounds.

My younger one, who has a learning disability, has always had friends who are of various ages and abilities. She has most in common with kids a few years younger than she is. She dislikes crowds and would find school stressful. I can't see her fitting in there either: she is 14 and likes to climb trees, play with dolls, and make inventions. She likes boys as well as girls. I think if she went to school she would learn to conform, and that would come at a great cost to her.

In my case, home education has been of benefit to the parent, it's true. I've been lucky enough to watch my children blossom into happy, unstressed and well socialised young people. I don't deny that I have enjoyed it all the way and still do. It is possible, and even common, that what benefits the child also benefits the parent.

[Bakedpotatoandgin]

Hi, I was home educated until I went to college for A levels, and I just want to say good luck! All the advice on this thread has been so good, and the "types of home ed" post made me laugh - too accurate
To the PPs who jumped on the "home education is terrible, school is the only way" bandwagon, I promise I am living proof that home ed works. Everyone else please ignore this bit if you don't like a braggart I've been successful academically, now at Oxford. I got a summer retail job at 16, and kept it for three years, proving that I was sufficiently socialised to have good customer service. I have friends from when I was little still, friends from sixth form college, and friends at uni - I learned to socialise with a variety of ages and abilities, and, unlike most of my fellow students, I have friends whose academic paths and life choices are very different to my own. I believe home ed taught me to empathise with people who are different to me, and that a person's academic attainment doesn't matter for us to be friends. I also have a specific learning difficulty, which, had I been in school, would almost certainly have meant reduced academic performance as schools aren't designed for people like me who demonstrate dramatic peaks and troughs in areas of ability.
Anyway, evangelism over, HE doesn't work for everyone but done well it can be fantastic.

[Jigglypuff2]

Thank you everyone - including saracens.

Such a super helpful post.

I feel very stressed about it but I honestly feel I can't send my son back to that environment.

Also now I know there are schools like inter high I feel I could consider some external lessons on zoom or Skype too.

Interesting also about the local authority.

I just wish to thank all the posters very much.