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Taking 6 year old of year 2. Dh not on board

(5 Posts)
JamesDelayneysTattoos Tue 07-Nov-17 10:09:06

Hi all. My dd is 6, she’s in year 2 and has never settled at school. She is child number 6 of 6 and we suspect ASD but not started dx pathway yet.

She’s so unhappy at school. I’ve kept her off today because she was sobbing her heart out at bedtime yesterday because she thinks none of the teachers like her.

She struggles with friendships. She’s afraid of the shouting. She says the noise of the classroom hurts her ears, she’s scared when people approach her because she thinks people are going to hurt her. 😟

I want to take her out and home ed her. There’s a large community where we live and I know people with similar age home ed kids. There’s lots going on as I’m sure you all know so I’m not worried about her social interaction.

Academically she’s very bright and top of her class in every area.

Dh doesn’t believe in HE.

If your Dh wasn’t on board, how do I convince him? He’s intelligent so I could give him things to read but I don’t know if he’d make time to read them. I’m a sahm.

Any advice is great
Y received.

Thank you

ommmward Tue 07-Nov-17 14:18:24

Any way he could meet some of the people home educating in your area? Might he agree to a trial until Christmas? Can he pin down what it is about Home Ed that he doesn't believe in? (I'm imagining something like Father Christmas or the Flat Earth theory now. "No, I don't believe in that" :D )

Best books:

Paths are made by walking: home educating our autistic spectrum children
How Children Learn at Home by Alan Thomas and a lady whose name I forget.

JamesDelayneysTattoos Tue 07-Nov-17 17:34:10

Thank you ommward I don’t think he’d be up for meeting other people. He digs his heels in if he feels railroaded. I’m better to drip feed.

I’ll get him to order the book on Amazon. Thanks 😉

LoverOfCake Tue 07-Nov-17 17:40:59

If he doesn't believe in HE then you are being unreasonable to unilaterally make this decision IMO. Although I will state here that I don't agree with HE either.

What help have you thus far sought for your DD? She's afraid of loud noises/struggles socially with friendships etc, these are things which all need addressing regardless of whether you decide to home educate or not, because the answer to her struggling to make friends isn't to remove her from the environment where she isn't making friends into one where she isn't forced to socialise with others. At some point she will have to go out into the world on her own regardless of how and where she was educated, and if she hasn't been helped to overcome these issues then she is going to struggle.

I know adults who were home educated and had very little interaction with others because it was perceived that it was something they struggled with. The result is that as adults they find it almost impossible to integrate.

My advice would be to seek professional help through the senco at school and perhaps your GP, so you can get to the bottom of why she is struggling so much and whether there are some strategies which will help her. But I would do all that before you enter down the route of purely removing her from school and home educating. Especially if it's something your DH isn't on board with either.

JamesDelayneysTattoos Tue 07-Nov-17 18:16:08

loverofcake I’m not unilaterally making any decisions. If Dh agreed I’d have never sent her back into year 2. She’s always hated school.

There is a huge home ed community where we are and I have lots of friends who he and some with similar aged children so she wouldn’t just be staying at home or just with me. The he world is massive and varied these days.

I’ve told school my concerns, herbteacherbagrees there is something but has to,d me I don’t need to do anything at the moment as senco is rubbish. I know this as they didn’t support my older Dd when I expressed concerns 3 years ago and she was dx with autism this summer. I don’t have much faith in them but it’s parents eve tomorrow and dd’s teacher knows that I want to talk about these concerns and not her academic progress which is excellent.

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