"Once again thinking of HE..." - UPDATE!(17 Posts)
So we are in, what, our 5th month of home ed now?
We had a fair bit more wobbling from DD. I panicked for a long time, in particular that I should've made her continue at school for a bit first. She was often saying she wanted to go back just for a few days and sometimes she got quite upset that she couldn't, but we had lots of cuddles and chats about it and it's passed. She is loving HE! She's made some fabulous friends of various ages, and is rather evangelical about how much time homeschoolers get to play
We seem to be heading towards a little more structure than I'd thought - DD appears to need a little predictability, so that's fine with me. We had a while where she refused to do anything but thankfully we were able to just put it down to the deschooling phase, it was like all the toxic feelings from school were finally spilling out! She was so very compliant at school, she was walked all over TBH, and I think that's another reason she was being very rebellious - because suddenly she could say no! But now that's out of her system, she is back to loving learning and we are generally getting along much better. She has a referral for the anxiety, although symptoms are really reducing and meltdowns are less common. And she hasn't had a single migraine since she left school!
The home ed community round here is bloody brilliant. I have been absolutely astounded. I have made some friends! That's something I didn't expect (or dare hope for, anyway). It's like a door has opened on an entire new world, it is SO different from the school gate. We have built up a bit of a support network already which has been a lifeline (unfortunately the childcare has fallen through due to a clash of personalities with CM and DS... trying not to panic as we have til September to figure something out) - I've actually found it a little difficult learning to accept help like this, I am so not used to this kind of friendship.
Financially, well, it's quite a struggle, with paying for childcare particularly. But I bit the bullet and started offering piano lessons, and they're going really well! I have found it so rewarding and it's really reignited my love of playing myself, too.
I've saved the best news til last. DS. That little 5yo who couldn't speak properly, the boy nobody could understand and was teased because of it, the boy who has had intervention since age 2 for a speech disorder... HE HAS BEEN DISCHARGED FROM SPEECH THERAPY!!! Yes, damn right I'm shouting!!!
I can't believe I was worried that his speech would suffer because of not being in school with other children. How very very wrong I was. His speech wassuffering BECAUSE he was not happy and feeling safe and loved at school. I can't believe I didn't see it before now! Anyway, the change started within weeks. People started commenting that his speech was clearer, and I noticed he was suddenly self correcting really well. He had another run of four SALT sessions about 3 months into HE... we were told after the first one there was no point in continuing because he had made such dramatic progress that it was far too easy for him. He is also reading really well now and enjoying it, after a year of being totally static and resenting every book put in front of him, and is loving maths as he can finally show what he knows.
We had our first annual visit from the LEA 'associate teacher' a few weeks ago (she was very nice BTW and wrote a fab report). DS talked her ear off as soon as she got in the door, something about junk modelling plans I think. She looked down at the forms I'd filled in back in Feb, and she looked really confused. "Your DS doesn't have a speech disorder, does he?!" - I think she thought she had got the wrong person's notes she simply couldn't believe there had been anything wrong with his speech because he talked so well
So yeah... that's us! I'm glad I finally got round to updating and that I have some positive news thank you all again for helping me with this decision and for your incredibly useful advice and experiences. I will not forget it.
Now we are settling in it feels like we were destined to home ed eventually, like school was just killing time before we took the plunge!
Oh (blub) pass the tissues. I am SO happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuzz. Thanks so much for this update..Ive been thinking about you and wondering how you were going. I am really pleased for all of you.
Really, fuzz, looking back at your previous thread, you are a total poster family for why people should take the plunge into home ed <3
Hi fuzz your experience sounds inspiring, well done.
Can I just ask about your DS speech problems. Were these due to a physical problem also, ASD or only anxiety based. The reason I ask is I have just realised my child has Selective Mutism due to anxiety and HE is a consideration for me now.
Wells done Fuzz, you must be so happy!! Brilliant to hear your news!
Thanks everyone! It's so lovely to read these comments
Funnily enough I bumped into a couple of old friends today and they were both really lovely and interested in our HEing. Although we did also see a school mum who asked what school DD had left for, should've seen her face when I said we were HEing. Can't win 'em all though eh?
iluv DS' speech is an utter mystery to all of us! Even SLTs said they couldn't work out where the problem came from, although the audiologist reckons he had glue ear as a toddler, which could have affected how he heard the sounds. He was assessed for ASD but they were not concerned.
The resulting problem was mainly to do with speech sounds, they just seemed to be wired wrong so his speech was practically unintelligible to people who didn't know him well. So TBH I hadn't really even considered it as having an anxiety element to it! I really thought being in with his peers was what was helping, I can't believe I got it so wrong. It was hindering him to a massive extent it seems. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. He's bounced back so incredibly fast though that I don't think it's done him any harm in a long term sense.
So, while it wasn't a problem of mutism, DS has certainly been helped by having the cause of his anxiety eliminated!
Wonderful! I'm really happy for you that it's working out so well. What an uplifting tale .
Thats fantastic to hear don't look back at what was then you thought you were doing the best thing then
We're actually trying to go back to a new school in Sept ds is looking forward so we'll see we my be back
Sadly there is no home ed community around here that is a lot to do with our decision of trying a new school. I'm so g all ad it's worked for you all.
That sounds super!
My son's high anxiety problems were in part caused by magnesium deficiency. 90% of magnesium is removed from foods during processing and it's also taken out of our water as it can fur up the pipes. An estimated 80% of people are reckoned to be deficient. The body excretes more magnesium when you're stressed so deficiencies get worse then.
Adding Epsom salts to my boys' baths and using cheap spray-on magnesium chloride bath flakes mixed with water have helped them loads.
My older son used to have verbal dyspraxia, as well as a number of ASD type traits (he also had diagnoses of sensory processing problems & lack of empathy for others). All were due to vitamin & mineral deficiencies causing neurotransmitter imbalances. The things which really helped his speech were reducing the amount of oxalate (a naturally chemical in plant foods) in his diet, and fixing his zinc deficiency. He has lost all his diagnoses now.
Wow! That's really interesting, thank you.
I do have Epsom salts (use them in my baths sometimes for pain relief) so will add them to their baths too assuming it wouldn't be bad for DS' eczema.
Thanks again for all the responses
fuzzpig - As someone with a hearing impairment, the other thing that may have helped your DS's speech is not being in a noisy classroom all the time. I had major issues at primary school because I found it very hard to select a single voice from the cacophony that is a classroom. I can see something similar being the case with your son.
What ever the course was I am glad that your son's story is so positive and I'll go back to lurking on this board.
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