Started new job - need to become confident superwomen by tomorrow - PLEASE HELP!!

[mandymoo]

Hi
Started new job this week. Part time. Office work. In room full of other women. We are all same age but they are all more confident, self assured and generally more together than me.

I have tried so hard to fit in over the last 2 days and even tho a couple of them have young children like me, they seem on such a higher level than me.

How can i become more confident instead of a nervous, giggling schoolgirl-like person??

[motherpeculiar]

you probably don't come across like that at all to them

try to relax, they've (presumably) been there a while and know each other well so they seem (and indeed are, for those very reasons) more comfortable and confident there

give yourself a chance, a couple of months down the line you'll be amazed you felt like this I bet

in the meantime, try to get to know the woman a bit better, see if someone wants to go for lunch, a drink after work (if possible with kids) etc. Once you start to feel part of things you'll feel better I hope

good luck

[motherpeculiar]

didn't mean to take the kids with you for a drink, should have said if possible with childcare arrangements

must preview, must preview, must preview

[Whizzz]

Sit back and see who knows who & listen to whats going on - wait for a topic you are confident on & then join in. Young children are always a good source of concersation - just look at MN

(who knows - they might by MNs themselves !)

[tribpot]

I think you're probably just nervous because you're in a new environment - is this your first job after you've had your kids? Either way, I'd just try and chill. Remember, there's no such thing as being on a 'higher level' than you, maybe they have different experiences or whatever, but it's all valid. If they seem more confident than you, it's just cos they've been there longer. Starting a new job is like your first day in a new school - it's always nerve-wracking, just give yourself time and you'll be fine.

[mandymoo]

thankX
I've been working since dd was 3 months but previous job was with men and it was very very comfortable.

New workmates all go out together regularly, staying at each others houses (even those with children - dont ever see me being able to do this

Just wish i could be more confident and act like a "woman" rather than a "girl"

[wysiwyg]

Mandymoo, you are a woman, and a mum, and I bet you do a great job at work and home. I'm sure you'll feel more confident with time.
I tend to agree with whizz - I would usually sit back and listen in first, try to suss it all out.
good luck

[mandyc66]

anyone that can juggle work and children are superwomen in my book. How do you do both?!!

[WideWebWitch]

Agree, sit back and listen and gauge them first. Ask questions if it seems appropriate, be friendly but not desperate, smile, relax (if you can!), get on with your job and your confidence will gradually improve. If you feel panicky deep breathe. Remember they want to like you too and they were new once too. If there's anything you'd like to know, ask, people are usually keen to help/demonstrate their knowledge ime.

[mandymoo]

Well, i've been in my new job now for 2 weeks and its going ok. Still feel inadequate but i have to try really hard to tell myself that just because i work part time, it doesnt make me any less able to do the job. Just wish i could give everything in my life 100% (dd, dh, job, house, etc) but i cant so as stated on another thread, GOOD ENOUGH WILL HAVE TO DO!!

[mumbee]

Mandymoo you are doing 100% in everything that is what a GOOD ENOUGH WILL HAVE TO DO! so do not think your inadequate, think of all your job descriptions of everything you do, how many men can do all those jobs at the same time and plan the meals, the shopping, organise the diary, supervisor homework, entertain guest, mediate family difficulties, My lovely Dh usually manages two at a time nothing more we just do it.

This last year both children at school two different schools half an hour walk apart, helped out at church at a coffee morning, started a training course for teaching assitants which has also meant time in classroom as teaching assistant (new career), become a school governor and attended lots of training course and meetings related to that, ran the home.

The only thing Dh insisted is that I have one day a week at home for myself Friday is usual whilst children are at school

I think 100% is our norm don't you