Umming and ahhing about how long per week I should put DS in nursery?

[HarryB]

Grateful for your views. I am due to return to work in December and am meeting with the local nursery next week (early I know but they have a bit of a waiting list)to discuss sending DS there. I'm just not sure for how long per week he should start: 2 half days, or 2 full days. We have out of nursery childcare sorted so it really is my choice on how long he spends there. I personally think nurseries are very good for babies and I'm sure the younger they go there, the easier the transition, but might going for the full 2 days be a bit much for him to start with, or should I start on the half days and increase by half days till he gets to 2 full days? Also, is it safe sending him to nursery before he's had his MMR?

He will be 11 months when he starts.

Thanks

[HeadFairy]

I'd agree with hanaflower, especially when it comes to boys. They often don't have the communication skills that girls do and their frustration can often show itself as aggressive behaviour. Boys also benefit much much more from a close relationship with a single individual (ie a parent or carer) and lots of attention. My ds is at a childminder 3 days a week, 8am to 6pm but there are only ever 8 children there and he gets much more one to one attention which I think he benefits from. His cm is like a member of the extended family to him, be absolutely adores her and I think he benefits so much from having a close relationship with someone when dh or I aren't there.

I'm due dc2 in Dec and I will be keeping ds at the cm for a couple mornings a week for the socialising, but I'm keeping him out of a nursery environment until he's 3.

As you have the option I'd stick to 2 half days a week and have out of nursery care elsewhere for the rest (grandparent/family member/childminder/nanny etc)

[bitofadramaqueen]

My DS goes to nursery three days a week, and since he's settled in he seems quite happy there. There's rarely more than 8 or 9 similar aged babies in the room on any one day and there are 3-4 staff members each day so I'm quite happy about the level of attention he gets.

I have a friend who put her baby in a couple of half days and the nursery staff thought she was finding it difficult to settle because she was only in fir a half a day at a time. I think they thought it was too short a time for her to get really used to it.

[HarryB]

Thanks. I will go with 2 half days to start with. I should have been clearer. DH and I will be able to cover 3 days per week but only for 6 months to a year. MiL has offered to take him but I would rather not rely on her any more than I will have to (long story). I figured that the sooner I got him used to the nursery the easier it would be when the time comes that he has to go there for 3 days per week.

[Jojay]

I agree with Hanaflower. I'd minimise nursery time as much as possible at this age.

IMVHO, the view that babies need to learn to socialise, need to become independent of Mum and Dad etc, is balls.

I think having a strong relationship with a very limited number of carers, ie Mum, Dad, Granny, Childminder, is far preferable to institutional childcare at this age.

For this reason I think a good childminder is far preferable to nursery for babies.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but you did ask

[Jojay]

And I particularly can't stand the view that if the baby is unsettled and cries when the parent leaves, then what the baby needs is MORE time at the nursery to get used to it

But maybe I'm just a big softie

[BonsoirAnna]

I personally think that nursery is the childcare of last resort for under-threes.

Which doesn't mean nursery is necessarily bad, if for very short periods.

[Jojay]

Sorry, that should be

'And I particularly can't stand the view that if the baby is unsettled and cries throughout most of the session, then what the baby needs is MORE time at the nursery to get used to it

[HarryB]

Jojay, on the contrary, you have made me reconsider if what I am intending is best. Perhaps starting him a bit older might be better - say, at 18 months. I will eventually have to work full time.

[mrsbaldwin]

HarryB - you might want to have a look at this interesting research summary (linked through from the Times AlphaMummy blog)

www.res.org.uk/society/mediabriefings/pdfs/2005/feb05/gregg.pdf

My DS who's a lot younger than yours has started at nursery part-time already, and seems to love it. Yesterday he came home beaming and started trying to crawl about. I am mindful of all the doom-mongering about nurseries so am keeping an eye on how he progresses and have been concurrently investigating nannyshares. But so far he seems to be loving it. At the moment the nursery is innocent until proven guilty

HTH