Come and talk to me about how it all felt a bit different when you went back after the second child and just what you did about that....

[beansprout]

I came back to work (3 days a week) in November. Ds2 will be a year old on Friday. I'm struggling a bit really as my heart is just not in the job any more. There has been a lot of change in my absence (new boss, new office, new team....!) and I can get on and do a lot in the day but I am just not enjoying it and really, really look forward to going home each day, much more so than before. Ds1 will be 5 this year and I am very aware of just how short these pre school years are.

I understand that this is quite common. We can't afford for me to stop work atm, so if you have been in this position, how did you square the circle?

[beansprout]

Anyone?

[citronella]

Have no choice so I just get on with it. Somedays I really enjoy work others not but I try not to allow myself on the slippery slope of worrying too much about it. One goal to work towards for me would be to be able to do a 4 day week.

[beansprout]

Anyone else? I know I have to get on with it, but it's much harder this time.

[muminaquandary]

I set myself deadlines - if I can just get to the next holiday / weekend without having a nervous breakdown and I have enough days I enjoy work in between = achievement.

[CeciC]

Hi Beansprout,
I understand completely how you feel. After DD1 I went back to work very happy, as I didn't enjoy staying at home that much. 4 years later DD2 was born and I didn't want to go back to work, as I did enjoy a lot staying at home. As DD1 was not in school f/t, we could do a lot together. But like you by then, I couldn't afford not to go back to work, so I had to go back to work, but it was very difficult. A lot of days I would drive back to pick up my eldest from School, and I would cry in the car ,... but now 4 years later, I am used, and I enjoy my job. From very early I got used to separate home/job. Once I leave work, my mind gets into "mum" routine, and even if I had a bad day at work, it goes at the back of my mind, and it doesn't come back after next morning, on my way to work.
Usually during work, I try no to think on home stuff ( not always possible) but it helps me, to keep these two worlds separate and enjoy both.
Give it time. At least you have 4 days in the week that you don't have to go to work. I work f/time (7-2:30), but from 2:30pm work doesn't exist.

[strawberrycornetto]

I am in virtually the same position. My DS will be 5 this year and starts school in September. I went back to work 4 days a week, one from home, in October when DS was 7 months old. There have also been changes in my workplace.

I feel the same as you. A massive part of me wants to be at home all the time with my children but we can't afford it.

So far, the only advice I can offer is that I am setting myself stages, a but like muminaquandary said. So I said I would review when I've been back 6 months, and I am trying to work through what the alternatives are (relocation, selling our house and downsizing, finding a new job) and what the advantages and disadvantages are. I guess its holding onto hope that there is another way. I feel like these are the best years of my life, while my little ones are small, and I do not want to look back with regret.

I hope you feel better soon, I do believe it takes 6 months to adapt to a new job, and I guess this is kind of the same process.

[strawberrycornetto]

I am in virtually the same position. My DS will be 5 this year and starts school in September. I went back to work 4 days a week, one from home, in October when DS was 7 months old. There have also been changes in my workplace.

I feel the same as you. A massive part of me wants to be at home all the time with my children but we can't afford it.

So far, the only advice I can offer is that I am setting myself stages, a but like muminaquandary said. So I said I would review when I've been back 6 months, and I am trying to work through what the alternatives are (relocation, selling our house and downsizing, finding a new job) and what the advantages and disadvantages are. I guess its holding onto hope that there is another way. I feel like these are the best years of my life, while my little ones are small, and I do not want to look back with regret.

I hope you feel better soon, I do believe it takes 6 months to adapt to a new job, and I guess this is kind of the same process.

[strawberrycornetto]

I am in virtually the same position. My DS will be 5 this year and starts school in September. I went back to work 4 days a week, one from home, in October when DS was 7 months old. There have also been changes in my workplace.

I feel the same as you. A massive part of me wants to be at home all the time with my children but we can't afford it.

So far, the only advice I can offer is that I am setting myself stages, a but like muminaquandary said. So I said I would review when I've been back 6 months, and I am trying to work through what the alternatives are (relocation, selling our house and downsizing, finding a new job) and what the advantages and disadvantages are. I guess its holding onto hope that there is another way. I feel like these are the best years of my life, while my little ones are small, and I do not want to look back with regret.

I hope you feel better soon, I do believe it takes 6 months to adapt to a new job, and I guess this is kind of the same process.