WWYD - part time or full time and move home or not

(9 Posts)
Blue3001 Thu 27-Feb-20 12:46:02

Hi looking for some impartial advice as my family are all pretty biased.

I am a primary school teacher and my husband is in 2nd year retraining as a student nurse. We moved about 3 hours from family for him to do his degree as we are both from the rural Highlands.

We had a baby in January (unplanned as we were planning to wait a few years and probably move back home).

I will be going back to work I’m August as we cannot afford for me to take more time off work. The school I was working in is an hour away from where we live. They have offered me 0.6FTE which means I would only be working 3 days a week. As I just qualified in August last year, I am yet to do my NQT year.

I have a choice of competing my probation year or the flexible route for probation. If I do the flexible route, I would need to 270 days teaching (have done 50 already) or the probation year which is only 190 days.

My family would like me to complete my probation year as it will likely be in a school much closer to home and it means when my husband is qualified next year, we can move home. He is almost guaranteed a job where they live but there is a surplus of teachers in the Highlands and I don’t think it is likely that I would get a full time permanent job. He also wants to work in A & E, but there isn’t one where they live. We would also not be able to afford to buy initially and would have to move in with my parents to save a larger deposit as our current property was very cheap and has little equity but where they live, property prices are very high.

Or, I could stay where we are for 2 to 3 years, complete my probation part-time, continue paying our mortgage and my husband would have more opportunities as we live near a major trauma centre. This would also mean when I return to work when baby is 6 months old, I would only be working 3 days a week and not 5. Although they would be 3 long days (catching train at 0600 and getting home around 1730).

I also feel we would both be sacrificing our careers in order to move home. As both sets of our parents work full-time, they would not be supporting with childcare and I think we would only see them on weekends really as we would both be working full-time too.

Financially, we would only be £180 a month better off with me working part-time vs full-time due to childcare costs.

What would you choose to do?

OP’s posts: |
MollyButton Thu 27-Feb-20 12:56:29

Its got nothing to do with your parents.
If your husband wants to work in A and E, then he needs to be where there is an A and E department.

Those are the facts.
I would stay where you are or even move to a bigger place for your career and your husbands. Your parents are not elderly or infirmed and can come and visit you.

Finfintytint Thu 27-Feb-20 13:05:33

Stay put. Both of you should establish your careers full time so you will be in a stronger position if you decide to move later.

carly2803 Fri 28-Feb-20 22:20:58

stay put

do not let your parents dictate your life or his!

MadeForThis Fri 28-Feb-20 22:45:08

Stay. Make the choices that benefit your family.

Spongeb0b Fri 06-Mar-20 06:39:36

I would 100% stay put. No brainer.

Darbs76 Sun 08-Mar-20 07:37:15

Stay put. I had to move 250 miles for a job 20yrs ago and my family were very upset but ultimately it is my life and when you live somewhere with less job opportunities you often have to make the decision to move. Don’t let your parents pressure you.

JontyDoggle37 Sun 08-Mar-20 07:39:48

Stay put. Part time job. You never get those years back. And the parents seem a bit controlling - they want you close and doing what you’re told...so distance is probably healthier.

Pineappletree33 Sun 08-Mar-20 07:43:46

Stay put. As harsh as it sounds it’s about your family now (you, dh and baby) and staying put sounds like the best option for you all.

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