Distraught about going back to work

[cerealspiller]

DD2 is coming up 9 months and I'm due to go back to work in 2 weeks. Work have told me that my options are 3 days per week part time or full 5 days with optional 6 week phased return. I accepted the latter however now I can't stop crying every time I think about going back and leaving my beautiful children. They will be looked after by my partner and their grandparents so it's not that I'm feeling guilty about putting them into nursery, I just can't bear to not be with them every day. I don't remember being like this when I went back to work after having DD1 however I found out I was pregnant soon after returning so knew it was only temporary.
What I'd like to find out from people is whether or not you felt this upset when returning, and if it's just a normal part of going back? Or if this is a sign that I should be taking the part time option and staying at home with my kids?
I could do the three day option however we were supposed to be saving to move to a house (very much in need of more space) and will not be able to afford it if I drop down

[barelywithit]

Maybe you should try going back and seeing how you feel after a few weeks? It may not be as hard as you think it's going to be?

I must say I'm very envious........! X

[SherlockSays]

I've been back 4 weeks and I cried for about 6 weeks before going back - didn't sleep a wink the night before. DD goes to nursery 4 full days a week (I reduced to 4 days), there's no grandparent cover. I work from home one day a week too but DD is in nursery as normal.

But I love it and did from the first day back, being a parent is sheer hard work and I get a lovely break at work. I get to think about stuff other than nappies and her next meal, I get to eat, drink and toilet whenever I want and I can talk to adults.

It's not the same for everyone, but for me it was the best. The dread of going back was wayyyyy worse than the reality.

[f3bPSYQLfDCXaBQ]

This is a great time to review how you are and have been doing things and have an open discussion with your other half around how else things could be done.

It is always a great idea to explore all the options, we all live such different lives and there is room to think outside the box particularly when it is something that is causing you so much distress. I'll bet if you have a brainstorm three will be other ways to secure your income and also meet your needs to be close to your kids.

Good luck

Orla

[cerealspiller]

Good to know that I'm not the only one who cried! Hoping it will be the case that it's not as bad as I think it'll be and will quickly become the new normal.
Definitely will be having a big chat with my partner about a contingency plan for if that's not the case though :(

[Lazypuppy]

I was the opposite i couldn't wait to go back to work after 10months. I always knew i would go back full time, and i love having my time at work away from my dd. I get to be me again, not just 'mum', then when i pick her up at 4:30 she's always so happy to see me, get a few hours with her then few hours with my partner while she has gone to bed.

[meow1989]

Ds is 11 months and I go back few days after his first birthday 3 days a week (but with a days annual leave a week for 3 weeks). Ds will be with my mum or mil the for summer will be with his dad (my dh is a teacher), starting nursery 2 days a week in September.

I. Am. Devastated.

I've been sleeping on the floor in his room lately

[cerealspiller]

I think I was probably looking forward to going back a bit first time around and I definitely understand the feeling of wanting a part of yourself back that gets lost when you're at home with a baby 24/7, however this time around I sort of feel like being at home with the kids IS me. I'm happier at home - cooking the food, tackling the chores, coming up with fun activities for them. I think maybe if I cared more about my job, or had some career goals (like I did when I went back the first time) things would be different but all that has sort of just drifted away.

[cerealspiller]

@meow1989 think I'll start sleeping on the floor next to one of them on alternating nights 😂

[meow1989]

😂 one of my friends told me I have separation anxiety, think she is right!!

[meow1989]

Also, I dont want a part of me back, I want to be Mumma, I am wholly satisfied being "just" Mumma 💔

[cerealspiller]

@meow1989 I definitely have it too, maybe it's just a phase
That's exactly how I feel. Only job for me!