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I want to quit tomorrow. Is this weak?

39 replies

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 19:02

Hi, I am in the middle of a teaching placement and I am seriouly considering dropping out. I am quite enjoying the teaching (some of the time), but am finding it very difficult. I grossly underestimated the amount of work involved ( at the moment I spend about 4 hours planning a one hour lesson)and how stressful the job is. That said I would enjoy the challenge. The problem is I cannot stand the amount of time I am spending away from my dc's. They are 3yrs and 19 months. I wish I had not applied to do the course until they are older. I don't know what I was thinking. It seemed like a distant date in the future at the time.
Anyway now I hate leaving them and being so preoccupied. I want to quit but I don't know if this is the right thing to do. I feel like if I leave the placement I am being a quiter and not seeing things through.
What would you do?

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Kbear · 25/02/2007 19:05

I think you are a very busy mother of small children who underestimated the intensity of the course and, if it's making you unhappy, you should quit and try again when they're older.

WeaselMum · 25/02/2007 19:07

Teaching is stressful enough when all you have to think about is yourself! With 2 small children it's a real challenge. Don't think of it as quitting - think of it as postponing your course. When you get back to it in a couple of years I bet you'll enjoy it so much more. Good luck

DumbledoresGirl · 25/02/2007 19:11

Oh I sooooo understand you. I used to be a teacher, quiet to have children and then after 6 years out, went back to a part-time job. I had three children at the time. I found it really hard to commit to the job, and I couldn't wait to get home to see my children at the end of each morning, particularly as the children I taught were, shall we say "challenging".

I was lucky. My job was temporary and I left it joyfully after the 4 months had elapsed.

How long would you have to keep going for until you had come to the end of the course? It would be a shame to quit if it was only a question of gritting your teeth and getting through another couple of months. OTOH, if the course goes on for a lot longer than that, I could understand yu giving it up to go back to your children.

DumbledoresGirl · 25/02/2007 19:12

Not quiet, should have said quit.

belgo · 25/02/2007 19:14

Jalexdra - I was in a similar position to you - stuck on a nightmare placement, wih children a similar age to yours, complicated by the fact that I live in Belgium and the course and placements are in flemish. I stuck the placement out, then quit the course immediately at the end of it.

It has been the best decision for me and my famiy, in particular when my dh was away two weeks ago and dd2 suddenly got sick and I ended up having to stay in hospital with her. If I had had the ended stress of my course, it would have been awful.

I have every intention of either going back to work or going back on the course in the future.

Will any of what you have already done of the course remain valid, if you ever decide to go back to it in the future?

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 19:39

Thanks Kbear and Weaselmum, that is nice to hear.
Dumbledoresgirl and belgo, I don't know how I will stand with the university if I leave. I need to talk to my tutor about it. The placement finishes in June. To be honest I can't face it going on that long.
I had no idea how all consuming teaching is. I am dreaming about it every night!
I think the best thing would be to see if I can postpone it for a few years, atleast until dd is at preschool.
has anyone heard of schools offering part time placements.

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belgo · 25/02/2007 19:45

My placement was just one month, I really don't think I could have stuck it out any longer.

Whatever you decide, you have to have faith that it is the right decision.

Tiggerish · 25/02/2007 19:50

Jalexdra - you need to go and speak to your tutor asap. Explain your feelings, and that you don't want to quit but to postpone, and see what they say.

Hopefully they will be supportive and you will be able to pick up the course again in a couple of years.

SherlockLGJ · 25/02/2007 19:50

It is only 3 more months.

Well 3 and a bit, it is a very transportable (is that a word, or a bushism ??) skill.

You are in the middle, you are nearly there.

Hang in there.

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 19:53

I am going to quit. The thought of being with ds and dd everyday again makes me feel very happy, and the thought of completing the placement makes me feel sick.
I miss them and they miss me. What is the point of making us all unhappy? I just need to get over this feeling that I am failing.

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Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 19:55

Oh no. I posted that before reading SherlokLGJ's post. I know I should hang in there. I need to have a consistent feeling about this.

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DumbledoresGirl · 25/02/2007 19:58

You are not really failing if you have it in mind to try again when your children are older. Teaching is one hell of a job. It is hardest at the stage you are now, I have to say, but even so, few non-teachers realise how much it takes from you emotionally. This is clearly an important time in your life and the lives of your children and you will never get this time with them back again so if you feel so strongly, give up, but don't see it as a weakness rather a recognition that there are more important things in your life right now. No-one could dispute that!

DumbledoresGirl · 25/02/2007 19:59

Oops, my post was meant to be supporting your decision to stop. If you are still wavering, I would go back to my original post!

belgo · 25/02/2007 20:00

If you quit, you are not failing, you are making a decision based on the needs of you and your family.

It is very hard to know that you are making the right decision.

belgo · 25/02/2007 20:01

I don't consider myself a failure for quitting my course, because that was the best thing to do.

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 20:03

Thanks dumblesdoregirl. I am going to speak to my mentor and my tutor and explain that I have taken on too much. Hopefully they will be understanding. I will try and keep my options open, but ultimately I won't look back at my life and think if only I'd finished that PGCE earlier, but I might think if only I'd spent more time with my children.

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Ceolas · 25/02/2007 20:03

IME, teaching is all consuming.

That's why I couldn't do it.

SherlockLGJ · 25/02/2007 20:04

If you quit you are not failing at all, but you are soooooooo close.

I have good friends who are teachers, I appreciate the work it involves. However in these transient times in the work market place it is a great skill to have. I personally think if you are that close you should try and finish it. BUT it has to be your decision.

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 20:04

Sorry about the drivel at the end. Am trying to convince myself that i am doing the right thing. Which I am.

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lazyline · 25/02/2007 20:06

It's easy to feel like you are a quitter, but remember that you are an adult, and if you want to leave, you can!

DumbledoresGirl · 25/02/2007 20:07

The thing is though Sherlock, (and God knows, I am just thinking round the problem, not really arguing one case or another), even if Jalexdra finished the course in June, could she really then go back to looking after her children? Wouldn't she have to start a job, at least to consolidate her position? I can't see someone doing a PGCE and then not teaching for 3-4 years and being able to get a job after that break.

What do you think about that Jalexdra?

Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 20:15

The drivel at the end of my last post i meant.
Dumblesoresgirl, I know what you are saying. It just feels like a very long time until June at the moment

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Jalexdra · 25/02/2007 20:17

Sorry I meant that to Sherlock.

Yes Dumblesdoresgirl I would have to do my NQT year at some point within 5 years of finishing. I am going to try and postpone it for a couple of years

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Kbear · 25/02/2007 20:40

I think the thing to do is follow your HEART. I think there will always be less to regret if you and your children are happy.

Jalexdra · 26/02/2007 11:43

Thanks for all the advice yesterday.
I have spoken my mentor at the placement school. SHe was incredibly understanding and has agreed to put the placement on hold. I am going to see my tutor on Friday to see if they will agree.
I feel like a big weight has been lifted off me. I'm free. I am going to the park with my dc's this afternoon
Thanks again for the reassurance, it was just what I needed.

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