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Going back to work - bfeed baby wont take a bottle

(26 Posts)
daerwen Wed 26-Jun-13 10:27:13

More than a week I've been bottle training my 2+ month old baby. He only accepted one 3oz bottle, from the caregiver i hired a week before I get back to work. The week was horrible. In the morning I was trying to bottle feed him and never gave him the breast. He didn't accept a single one the whole morning and afternoon. No milk for the whole period. He just cried and went to sleep. Then I can't take it anymore I eventually gave him the breast at 5pm or so. 7 days we were like that. I even left him on my mum's maybe he'll accept the bottle since I am away, but he didn't he really waited for me. This is driving me nuts because he became lighter and noticed his pee was concentrated yellow. I went back to work last Monday, june 24 and left him with the caregiver. I really really feel guilty and anxious and crazy the whole day im in the office. The care giver said that he took the 3oz bottle. sometimes he doesnt finish it. He should be drinking 4-5 oz right now at his age but he doesnt. I think he lost his appetite because of the transition or I dunno, its really driving me to nuts. When i get back home he just nurse on me for a short time and goes to sleep for the whole night. I try to wake him up and force my breast to his mouth but he's too sleepy to even open his mouth. Right now he's so light. Somebody help.

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 26-Jun-13 10:44:56

Poor you! I think you need to take him to the doctors if he's light and sleepy all the time. Along with not feeding.

As it is, how often does he feed and how much? Are you offering formula or exbm?
Could you maybe co-sleep and reverse cycle (give baby most of feeds in the night?) Could you come home from work in your break to feed him?

I'm not a professional by any means but there are some great people on here who could offer you advice.

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 26-Jun-13 10:48:09

Just re-read your post. Are you saying that he's gone seven days with one BF a day and 3oz milk?

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 26-Jun-13 10:59:35

Am posting this in feeding for you as I'm concerned. Please reply...

Eskino Wed 26-Jun-13 11:03:37

If your baby is too sleepy to take a breastfeed, you need to take him to the doctor.

As you said, he is losing weight and is dehydrated.

Please take him to the doctor.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Wed 26-Jun-13 11:26:59

"If your baby is too sleepy to take a breastfeed, you need to take him to the doctor.

As you said, he is losing weight and is dehydrated.

Please take him to the doctor."

This ^

daerwen Wed 26-Jun-13 11:46:30

@MadBannersAndCopPorn - Right now, he feeds around four 3oz bottles the whole day im out, sometimes he doesn't finish it (accdng to caregiver). He only sucks the bottle when he's sleepy, he screams when we give it to him when he's awake. ATM i give him formula, he seems to like the cheaper one. I do co-sleep, before the bfeed-bottlefeed transition he feeds a lot at night. We nurse at most 1 hour. But right now, he doesn't, i try to force the breast but he will not take it, he just sleep. I stay awake till dawn just to wait for him to wake up and want to nurse, but he don't. And office is kinda far to go home at break time :|

Second post - sometimes no milk in the morning for 7 days, (because he really wont take the bottle) and i nurse him at 5pm because i cant take it anymore.

nannynick Wed 26-Jun-13 11:55:08

Its normal. I would suggest you BF and care giver does bottle. He will then with luck feed lots from you before and after work and drip-feed during day with caregiver. It can take several weeks but they do usually start to take a bit more during the day, though will still gorge when breast is on offer.

Caregiver should try feeding bottle little and often, so like breast feed.
Keep eye on weight gain/loss and signs of dehydration esp if hot.

HesneyChalks Wed 26-Jun-13 11:58:43

I feel a bit worried for your dc OP, with the weight loss and dark wee. Could you get a drs appointment to get things checked out?

MadBannersAndCopPorn Wed 26-Jun-13 12:19:20

Phew! I thought you said one bottle and one bf a day! As others have said, maybe take him to the doctor just to make you feel better about his weight etc
He'll get used to being fed a bottle from someone else as long as it's little and often. Hope it gets better for you OP

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 27-Jun-13 18:19:29

daerwen what makes you think he should be on 4-5 oz at a feed at this age? Is it something that you have been told? Not sure where you are based but here in the uk the advice is to feed on demand, which you and your caregiver seem to be doing.

A bf will take on average an ounce an hour so if he's has 3 oz at a feed, he probably won't take another feed for 3 hours, but all babies are different. As he gets used to the formula, he should start to take more. Have a read of how to bottle feed the Breastfed baby, combination feeding and childcare and the Breastfed baby.

How is your baby today? Is the urine still dark? Can you fit in anymore bfs? Maybe if you take a bath together in the evening he will nurse?

It must be really stressful for you but if Lo is showing gins of dehydration, you really need to see a HCP.

Ragusa Thu 27-Jun-13 18:27:52

If he has dark urine he is getting dehydrated and needs to be seen by a doctor. He is still tiny, and vulnerable.

Where are you? Are you in the UK?

Do you absolutely have to be at work at the moment? I know some people do and usually I wouldn't mention it, but this sounds quite difficult for both of you.

daerwen Fri 28-Jun-13 05:04:46

MadBannersAndCopPorn we will go to the doc this Saturday to have things sorted out. Its really a hard time but I know "this too shall pass"

daerwen Fri 28-Jun-13 06:00:41


- I have based the feeding amount at the back of the formula tin. im from the philippines, asia. yes, we feed him on demand but it seems that he demand less ever since the transition.

- thank you so much for the links. smile there's still no consistency on how much he would take from the bottle. before going to work i leave 5 bottles with 3 oz water. sometimes he doesn't finish it, he only goes for 2 or 1, and 3 with luck. that is for the whole 8-10 hours im out.

- right now he's accepting the bottle (accdng to caregiver) 3 oz max. and 4 bottles for 10 hours. His urine is still concentrated, and last night it was tinged with pink/red. I dunno what was that but theres a tiny little pink dot on his nappy. everytime i got home my breasts are so full i got the need to give it right away but he won't accept it immediately. Yesterday I went home at 6, and he nursed on me at 9pm. he went asleep at 11 with no proper/complete bfeed after the 9pm. so i woke up at 1am, 3am, and 5am and gently forced my breast into his mouth. he would suck just for a while (2-3 mins) then doze off, when i try to put it again he would not react because he's in a deep sleep already. BTW, in UK you bath your baby at night?

- We'll see doctor this saturday. Hope everything's fine.

daerwen Fri 28-Jun-13 06:08:01

Ragusa I'm from the philippines. Yes I really need to be at work. If only I could I would want to a full time mom. Its really hard and I get pangs of anxiety everytime im in the office. Im not exaggerating but this is really heart breaking for me. The fact that he wouldn't feed is one, and leaving him in the hands of a person i barely knew is another. i feel guilty.

Cindy34 Fri 28-Jun-13 06:21:37

Blood in urine does not sound good. Your breasts getting big is not good either, think its known as engorgement. See a medical person as soon as you can with regard to baby and you.

Can you pump off milk from your breasts during the day?
Formula little and often sounds like a way to try to keep your son happy. Is the person caring for him experienced with babies and thus knows that feeds do take a long time and babies need encouragement to suck?

frenchfancy Fri 28-Jun-13 06:36:41

I don't normally post on here, but I remember this probelm from when mine were little. After a stressful time we found the solution, we changed formula. We went on to BabyNat. No idea if it is still sold, we usd to get it from the organic shop. I still remember the time my LO first took it and drank 6oz straight down. I think I might have cried. It might not work for you, but it might be worth a try.

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 28-Jun-13 08:33:59

If he has blood in his nappy I really wouldn't wait another day to take him to the docs, I'd go today if you can.

If you are engorged can you express some off and leave it for the caregiver? Feeding for 2 or 3 minutes ay night is normal btw but I think you are right to encourage him to nurse as he is dehydrated.

Some people in the uk bath their baby every night, I didn't bathe mine that often as they had dry skin.

There are some tips on how to encourage nursing when you are with him here

HTH smile

daerwen Fri 28-Jun-13 10:05:06

Cindy34 Not really sure if it is blood, its a pinky dot in his nappy. I do pump once while at work, which I think is not enough. Will try doing it twice. The caregiver is old, 62 y/o. Yes she's experienced with babies but she's a little old school. One time when I ask her to bottle feed my son. She placed my son on her lap (feeding position) and shakes him by moving her knees. My son was like gasping while getting the nipple. Yes she was able to make him drink it but i find it RUDE. I told her not to do that again.

Ragusa Fri 28-Jun-13 11:10:05

Oh, I feel for you, I really do sad
Are you living in the Phillipines or in the UK? Sorry to be dense!

I am sorry you have to be at work when you really don't want to be. If you're in the UK, are you subject to immigration control? If not, are you claiming all the benefits you're entitled to?

Anyway, side point. Red dots in nappy..... sleepy, hmm, I think you should take your baby to the GP as soon as is humanly possible. If you're at work today, pop him down to out of hours tonight. Or to paedatric A and E failing that.

It's even possible he could have something like a urine infection, and this is why he is not feeding. That would need prompt treatment.

daerwen Fri 28-Jun-13 13:52:07

Thank you so much Ragusa flowers
Im living in the Philippines, Yes i have claimed all of them. Sometimes motherhood puts us in a dilemma.

Yes, we'll see doc tomorrow morning. Things are kinda rough since we just move out into a new house and we're still in chaos plus this. Thanks everyone. Big comfort!

JiltedJohnsJulie Fri 28-Jun-13 17:20:28

Just looked up the time difference and I think it must be the middle of the night where you are. How has he been since you've got home? Did he take any feeds in the day from the caregiver and from you since you got home?

It must be so tough for you right now.

MistyB Fri 28-Jun-13 17:33:26

Can your care giver bring your baby to work during your breaks for you to feed during the day rather than you going home? Can you breast feed in the morning before you go to work and when you get home?

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 29-Jun-13 08:06:44

daerwen how is he now? Have you seen the doctor yet?

daerwen Mon 01-Jul-13 02:07:23

JiltedJohnsJulie we went to the doc last saturday and it felt good to have everything sorted out. doc said it is normal for bfed babies to be so "over-acting" when the bottle is introduced to them. sometimes some babies, like mine, do a "hunger strike" - does not feed the whole day, wait till mum gets home. he gained weight. but not that much i guess. from 5.5 kilos to 6 kilos after 3 weeks. he is active, coos and squeals so doc said that he is ok. the transition, accdng to doc can last up to 2 weeks, he'll accept the bottle eventually. the blood was just a discharge, if its only like a dot we can have it ignored. thanks so much for the concern! flowers

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