Working hours

[art1]

Can anyone advise me on the following:

I am looking to put my son in to nursery at 10 months old from 8am to 4pm. My partner will be taking our son to and from nursery by bus(3/4 hour commute each way).

I have a commute of 1hr and 15 mins to work and the same home and worry about how much I will see my son as I am unsure of

1. a typical 10 month old's bed time.
   
2. how many days a week (at 8 hours per day) a typical 10 month old can cope with at nursery.(Unfortunately we cant reduce the hours at nursery).
   3)how often a 10 month old typically wakes in the night
   4)how feasible is it to work a long day (10.5 hours and 2 hour commute by car)one day a week in order to reduce the number of days at nursery from 4 to 3 days?
   
   Can anyone advise me? Also how does this change over the shorter term i.e. between 10 months and 2 years?
   
   Which would suit the needs of my 10 month old son best:
   
   3 days at nursery (8 hour days). This would mean I left at 6.45am in the morning. Evenings; one day returning home at 7.30 and 2 days returning home at 5.15pm
   
   
   or....
   
   4 days at nursery (8 hours days). I would be leaving home at 6.45am and returning at 5.15pm 4 days a week.
   
   Once I reduce my hours I cant increase them again at a later time so I need to balance the needs of my son at 10 months with his changing needs later on until he goes to school.
   
   Many thanks for your time

[cheeseytoastie]

Wow, that's a hard one. I'll start by saying that I would consider an 8 - 4 day at nursery to be 'short', most kids at my DS's nursery do about 8 - about 5. However, you have to add on the 45 min commute each way and it gets a lot more difficult as your DH will need to be out at about 7 presumably to get the bus? That is a long day then, with a very early start for the wee one.

So, I'd try to minimise 'at nursery' days. My DH has a long commute, about the same as yours, and most days he gets home about 6.10pm, just as the boys are going up for their baths. Both of mine are asleep by 7, but I think that's a wee bit unusual. However, they have to be up and out the house by 7.40am so I need them up early...This hasn't changed for DS1 in nearly 5 years.

I think as long as one of you is there (in this case your DH), then you can put in the hours you need so that you can be there on the other days. I wouldn't even worry about being home by 5.15 on the other two days, I'd consider an extra hour on each of those days too rather than one massively long day. You will get 2 full days a week with your DS and he won't mind as he's got his dad.

What a rambling reply and I don't think I even answered any of your questions!

[Sequins]

In our experience:

1. a typical 10 month old's bed time - gets later once at nursery due to daytime naps and the wish to see parents, our 14mo DD naps in the morning after breakfast, after lunch, and then sleeps from about 4 to 7pm and then plays with us until about 9.30 pm.
   
   
2. how many days a week (at 8 hours per day) a typical 10 month old can cope with at nursery - 5 so long as he or she is eating and napping well, bear in mind it takes a while, say 2 weeks, to settle in and they get bugs in the first 2 months or so. But they settle quicker the more days they go.
   
   3)how often a 10 month old typically wakes in the night - sorry but can be 2 or 3. I would say if you get it down to once only at about 2am + then 5.45am proper wake-up for the day you can survive. We had a terrible time with DS' sleep when I went back to work so are co-sleeping with DD! But this does improve.
   
   4)how feasible is it to work a long day - sounds like a nightmare, I think it is easier if you let your work be work and home be home and don't try to squeeze your work into a difficult shape just to get home earlier and do the housework while your child is napping.
   
   Make your weekends family time, get a cleaner, do online shopping etc. for your chores.

[OverflowingMum]

a quick reply, but personally I would go for the option of the one long day to reduce the number of days worked. You will be home a couple of hours later that day by what you have said, BUT will then have a whole extra day off.
I know how scarey it is, but I think if you find a decent nursery then your little one will be fine.
Have you considered childminders as an option? I think if you find a decent one then it can be a more home like envireonment for your little one, although we have always used nurseries.
Good luck