Could my child be gifted, autistic or something else?

[Kaandii]

I apologise if this is a long post but im a little desperate for some outside opinions. Im growing increasingly concerned about my 6 year old son and don't know if he could potentially be gifted, autistic or something else.
He is in primary 3 (equivalent of year 2 I think) and has been having some issues at school regarding his behaviour. I've had to leave work or numerous occasions to collect him because he is throwing things, running around and generally being unsafe. It seemed to get a little better when he was working one to one with a pupil support assistant but there were still a couple of 'slips'. He was back in class full time for three days, but again I had to pick him up early today. I have no problems with him at home, he is so well behaved, kind and helpful.
He is alone at break times and doesn't have any friends in his class, he tends to want to interact with the older kids, and was rather upset on the last day of school when the older kids left for high school. Myself and the school are concerned about his lack of social interactions but nothing is really being done to facilitate this.
He is great at reading, currently reading harry potter by himself at home, and in the highest reading group at school. He is phenomenal at maths, doing age 9-10 workbooks at home and was doing extra work at school last year with a primary 5 (year 4) teacher. The school said they were going to assess his maths level months ago but I still haven't heard anything other than that he has a lot of great skills that others his age don't have. I don't know if I should be more persistent with them or just pursue another route.
We've done a bunch of online IQ tests, which I know may not be totally accurate, but he consistently scores over 120, and he has asked to do more because they are fun.
He's always been a bright child in my opinion and has always had a particular fascination with numbers and maths. After a lot of google research I still don't know whether he could be gifted or autistic, as it can often be very hard to tell the difference.
Is it worth taking him to the doctors? Or a specialist of some sort? Or am I just being paranoid?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

[HennyPennyHorror]

They should not be sending him home. They should also have been looking into having him assessed by an educational psychologist.

I would visit your GP and ask them to sort this out. It sounds very difficult. The school cannot send him home though....sounds negligent. He has a right to an education.

[99problemsandjust1appt]

My daughter has asd. She presented from a very very early age as advanced in many areas and this made me think she was absolutely fine (I was a teenager and I thought she was a genius and when adults recoiled almost in horror at a baby speaking sentences I was offended). I wish now I’d got her help sooner. Definitely go and ask the gp for advice

[Pipandmum]

Being gifted doesn’t explain his behaviour. Have you had a meeting with the head? They see 100s of kids and may have a better perspective.

[HennyPennyHorror]

99 I relate. My own DD was basically a talking baby too...so articulate and clear it DID make people recoil a bit. She has some ASD traits but no diagnoses.

[Youngandfree]

I’m not saying this in a mean tone but...Why are you saying gifted OR Autistic?? He can be both you know? Granted savants only count for about 10% of those with ASD, but nonetheless he could still be both. Either that or his behaviour is due to frustration and/or Boredom

[VioletsArePurple]

It is possible she is Autistic and gifted. As others have already said, go talk to your GP.

[Bessiebigpants]

First port of call Educational psychologist They can assess his strength and weaknesses and formulate a plan to support his behaviour management at school. If he is as described then I think you also need to push for an education healthcare plan to support the extra support school are going to need to manage him and I understand he is only six but consider where he might go for secondary school early. If he responds well to rewards negotiate a reward system for him managing at school it may need to be very very specific. It's worth having a really honest conversation with school Is he really good at home or have you just adapted your home environment and activities so he is never challenged or forced to wait share or be inconvenienced in anyway so he may never have learnt those self management skills.Whatever the outcome he is still your son and a label whatever that looks like still sadly means that he will need to practice social skills at home and school.So take every opportunity to help him learn the basics especially waiting his turn sitting nicely and managing boredom they are essential even for genius's

[Shouldcolder]

They must not send him home. That’s an unlawful exclusion and instead, they need to put in place the support he needs to access a full time suitable education.

You’ve got two options ultimately

1. find a different setting which can nurture his abilities and work with his needs
   
   Or
   
   
2. ensure that his current setting put some robust plans in place to enable him to reach his potential (as distinct from levelling with his peers.)

[Shouldcolder]

And yes, you need the mother of all EP assessments done.

[Kaandii]

Thanks to everyone so far
I understand that there is potential that he could be both gifted and autistic.
Last year I thought it was a lot to do with boredom/frustration at not being challenged enough as he tends to be a lot better when given more difficult work to do.
He is an only child so probably doesn't encounter as much 'inconveniences' as other children might, but I do have a large close family which we spend a lot of time with so he does often need to share and wait his turn for things, just not with other children and probably not as much.

[HennyPennyHorror]

What are you going to do then? Sort out a trip to the GP? Speak to school with regards to them not sending him home? They don[t have the RIGHT to do that.

[Tigerty]

Speak to the school nurse as they can refer you into CAMHS. That was how my DS (reception age) started on the diagnosis route. He's ASD and gifted although I would not say savant.

Does your DS have sensory issues e.g. Hates loud noises/smells, complains clothes are scratchy or loves squeezing into tight spaces? Sensory processing issues tend to go hand in hand with autism.

Have you had his ears checked? Is it possible he has glue ear? That also may cause some of his issues too.

[Kaandii]

A trip to the GP is a definite, tired of waiting for the school to refer him for something, pray I don't have to wait forever to get an appointment. And I think I need to have a longer conversation with school.
After having a little chat to the wee one this evening we have come up with a little reward system that he seems excited about so I'll see how that pans out in the meantime.

[Kaandii]

Oh yes I knew I'd forget to mention something. Sensory issues, this is what led me on the path of possible autism. At school he hates loud noises/places, but at home he is surrounded by a lot of noise and it never bothers him, he also loves to go to fun fairs, parks, soft plays, cinema etc (very noisy).
He likes to smell EVERYTHING. He's never complained of clothes being scratchy but if we're just in the house he doesn't like to wear anything but his boxers. He also occasionally chews on his sleeves.
He has had his ears tested and there were no issues.

[EdtheBear]

Kaandii i would ask for a proper meeting with the school. What interventions can they put in place? And ask them to refer to Speech and Language & Ed Psychologist.

I'd ask GP to refer to Community Pediatrics and also to Speach and language.

Good luck

[giggly]

That’s definite sensory issues.
As you say primary 2 I assume your in Scotland so you can ask school for a referral to speech and language for an assessment as this is generally the first steps for an ASD assessment. If you go straight for a CAMHS assessment they will only send you back to SLT or as others have said to the educational psychologist.

[giggly]

Sorry P3

[Kaandii]

Yeah im in Scotland.
The school have been saying for months that they'll refer him to educational psychologist and community child health but im still waiting, not sure how long it would take.
Speech and Language therapist never occured to me as he's very articulate and has a massive vocabulary which has amazed people in the past. But im willing to try anything at this point. I just want my child to get any support he needs.

[LatteLove]

He could be both as others have said. Is working a couple of years ahead in one subject “gifted” though? I didn’t think that was that uncommon, although he’s clearly clever.

Keep on at the school to chase the referral because no matter how clever he is his education and development will be disrupted if he can’t cope in school.

[MollyButton]

First - if they require you to collect him from school do they give you a written record of why they are "excluding him" from school and the procedures to reintegrate him back to school? If not - I am assuming that as in England this is an "informal exclusion" which in England is illegal.

Second when my DD was being assessed for ASD the Educational Psychologist said that if she didn't quite reach the level to qualify for diagnosis, he would be willing to write something about her outstanding intelligence being a cause of a lot of her issues at school. He saw being very G and T as being often a problem in school settings. (We got the diagnosis - but partly because I helped them find examples of the qualifying criteria.)

[LatteLove]

Also SALT will assess more than just how good his vocabulary is. What they do is much more involved

[LatteLove]

His sensory issues sound very similar to my autistic son. The gifted part less so lol x

[EdtheBear]

SALT will assess his ability to communicate ie eye contact, playing games (turn taking), how he plays with toys.

[AlunWynsKnee]

SALT assessment was really interesting for my ASD & gifted dd. They picked up on all sorts of things including a sensory distraction that really bothered dd but they hadn't noticed. Her use of language is great but idiosyncratic and not quite how other children use it.

[pinksquash13]

Ask for a meeting with Senco and class teacher to get their perspective.