embarassing poo probs - IBS? Incontinence? Prolapse? Help!

[babymt]

Right this is very embarassing and rather TMI but I'm really hoping someone can help.

Before I even start please no-one just answer saying "go to your gp" because I don't want to. I can't face anyone looking "down there" mainly because I suffer from PTSD after the birth of my first born and was assaulted (in my opinion) by the consultant who "cared" for me. If I really really have to go be examined I think I'd need to be sedated. The thought of it makes me want to cry. I had a weird bleed at the beginning of the year and my counsellor tried to talk me through how I could get it investigated but I just couldn't go through with it. I've never had a smear either.

Right here goes. I've got various problems with my bottom. I'll start with the possible IBS. If I eat cheese or something creamy and rich I get extreme stomach cramps followed by urgent dihorea (sp?). I've been caught out once when I half didn't make it to the loo. When its coming...its coming and theres not much I can do to stop it. Does this sound like IBS and is there any benefit in getting it properly diagnosed? The most logical answer is no cheese!

2nd when I'm a bit constipated (like now due to pregnancy) I find it incredibly hard to go. I don't seem to have any sensation about when I need to go apart from when its almost out or when I feel inside my vagina I can feel it all through the wall between my vagina/rectum. Should I be able to feel it? Sometimes it really won't come out so I have to push it out through the wall.

It gets worse. Sometimes I feel like I might need to go as I've got alot of pressue in my bottom but I can't go despite really trying. So I decided a few weeks ago to stick my finger up my bottom and feel what the lump/pressure was and decided it was my cervix (know what my cervix feels like) pushing into my rectum making it feel like I have to go.

Sorry I know this is really TMI. I don't know what to do! Its causing me lots of problems and can't see a cure. I have no ieda if I have a prolapse. I wondered if thats why my cervix would push into my rectum. I think I may have a bladder prolapse too as my insides (the ridgy bit) stick outside my vagina opening. This could just be caused by my tear not being properly stitched I wondered? Oh and its probably important to note I had a 3rd degree tear last time.

Anyway its all come to a head because my latest pregnancy seems to have made all my problems alot worse. This is my 3rd child. 1st was born by cs (where the ptsd comes from). 2nd by vbac with ventouse and 3rd degree tear. So I'm also nervous that maybe I have a very thin wall between my rectum and vagina now which could cause another really bad tear. I know some consultants recommend elcs after 3rd and 4th degree tears but I'm very keen to avoid this.

Any help on any of this would be much appreciated. I'm really desperate for some advice! Thanks in advance and once again sorry its so gross!

[SmugColditz]

YOu honest to God need to go to the doctor. I had a similar pprolapse, and was told to do mega pelvic floor exercises.

it's called a rectocele, by the way. Avoid consitpation like the plageue

[Claire236]

I know you don't want to be told to go to your GP but you really need to. Maybe if you went but took someone with you. If you phone first & talk it through with your GP so they know how you feel that might make it easier too. I understand it will be really difficult but you need to go & once you've been you'll probably find it's not so scary anymore.

[permatired]

Hi Babymt, I'm really sorry you are having a tricky time. Your post rings a lot of bells with me - as you say yourself, this sounds like combination of IBS and some combination of anterior prolapse (cystocele), posterior prolapse (rectocele) and womb prolapse, none of which is ideal but very common after childbirth and not life threatening, and probably exacerbated by your pregnancy (I have IBS and a degree of anterior and posterior prolapse so I can really relate to what you describe). I totally understand why you are anxious to see GP given your experiences, but there's no way round it, so the question is how to approach it in a way you feel you could manage. What about making a double appointment (so you don't feel rushed) and write it all down clearly then go in to see the GP and give him or her your notes so they can quietly read them (I find I can feel flustered if anxious about going to the GP). Then you could ask how best to proceed - perhaps you could ask the GP to examine you with a nurse present, plus a chat with a counsellor to work through what happened before, or simply ask for a referral to a female gynaecologist (and again request someone else is there while you are examined). I really really think you need to see the doctor and although it feels excruciating to you, they have seen it all before. I had to see a male gynaecologist not much older than me about the problems I was experiencing, and I didn't like it but I am very very glad I went, and only he knows what we discussed and it has really helped me understand what is going on and the way forward. Good luck and try not to worry.

[katch]

I wonder if you're taking anti-depressants for the PTSD. I developed IBS within days of starting on Prozac, and was told 'yes, I'm afraid diaorrhea is one of the side-effects.' It still carried on after I'd stopped, but is now fine after a few years' cutting out potential dietary irritants. That aside, the gp is the only one who can diagnose your other problem. Think about your babes and grit your teeth.

[ThingOne]

I'm sorry about the PTSD but you do really need to get some medical help. It doesn't sound as if it is life threatening but you never know. I'm one of those rare people whose weird poo problems did turn out to be cancer rather than a prolapse/pelvic floor problems. Please go. I would be facing a terminal prognosis by now if I hadn't gone, repeatedly, until I was finally diagnosed. I was given valium for MRI scans as they are beyond the pail for me - can you ask if you can have that before a rectal exam? No medical training but if you have PTSD it might be worth asking, just to get you through it and to get the help you need.

[babymt]

Thanks for the replies. It basically sounds like your all confirming that I probably do have the things I think I have. But what does diagnosis do? Surely theres nothing you can do apart from pelvic floor excercises so whats the point?

I'm not on AD's for the PTSD as they are proven to not work for PTSD as its not depression. I was on them for PND but they didn't help that either.

The thought of going to see a dr about the problems just doesn't seem an option to me. I can't imagine being examined. The thought makes me want to throw up.

I tried to explain my fears regarding it to a gp before but she didn't understand. And didn't like me accusing a fellow dr of assaulting me. I guess they all stand together in things like this so she felt threatened by this information.

I'll think about it but am just so terrified I can't see me being able to go see gp.

[expatinscotland]

baby, thingone has cancer. so that's why you need to go. because it may not be just a 'poo' problem or a prolapse.

piles can become infected and absess.

it may not be piles at all. may not be IBS, may be colitis or Crohn's disease.

sorry but no one can give you a diagnosis besides a medical professional.

it's really your choice in this matter, but if you feel there is no option for you to be seen then it's your health and you'll just have to live with the bleeding and pain, which is sad, but no one can diagnose you without examining you.

[Aitch]

my mum's bowel cancer first manifested as poo problems... can you ask for help, maybe hypnotherapy, to get seen by medics?

[expatinscotland]

given your past birth history, would it be possible for another OB consultant to examine you?

if you're worried about prolapse, a consultant might need to examine you, anyhow, to see if trying for VBAC is a possibility at all.

[babymt]

Great. Now I feel suitably freaked out.

[Marne]

Hi, i also have simalar problems, i hav'nt seen my gp, i have just put it down to IBS, i get a bout after eating to much gluten. I worry about going to my gp as i am worried he will send me to hospital to send a carera up there. I have a family history of IBS so have always assumed thats what it is.

[babymt]

Why would a prolapse affect a vbac?

[scattercushion]

could you go to docs and say (or hand over a letter saying) 'I am extremely anxious but I have a problem with my bowel. Please could you prescribe me some valium so I can take it before I next come in to be examined?'

[scattercushion]

sorry if you feel we aren't taking on board your huge problem with medics. It's just that we want to help you.

[Lemontart]

You poor thing, it is just awful the way these common problems can make us feel so worried, embarrassed and stressed to the core. I totally relate to your doctor phobia.
I know you know that everyone telling you to go and see your GP is the best option. However, if you really are reluctant and most likely to put it off and put it off.. could I make another suggestion?
You mention you are pregnant now? How do you get on with your MW? No doubt she will have examined you internally? I just wonder if talking to her might be a starting place. You could approach it from the angle of your concerns about tearing and concerns about possibly suffering from weakened internal muscles.. She will probably ask you a few more questions and that should open the conversation up to going into more detail and good advice. All MWs who have been around a while will be more than aware of all post pregnancy problems and should be able to offer a sympathetic ear and solid advice as a starting point.
The worry about seeing a GP is huge - but then if you add up the every day small bit of nagging worry that you are experiencing and multiply that for every day ahead of you - that is bigger in the end. The sooner you start talking to someone in RL about this, the sooner you can start reducing the overall pile of worry and stress and get it all resolved. The added advantage of getting that initial conversation done sooner is that the every day nagging worry is shorter and if (and it is a huge "if") it is something that needs treating seriously, then the sooner the better there too.
A teeny bit of emotional blackmail too - just in case it will help If it were your children at stake I bet you would walk over coals for them. Think of this as doing it for your kids - protecting their mum so that they will have a happy and healthy mum by their side.

Good luck xxxxx I really hope all these posts will help strengthen your resolve and feel supported by all the well wishers. I hope it will carry you along in a wave of confidence to go act on all this advice

[expatinscotland]

because it may not be a prolapse, where the organ drops down, usually from muscle weakness. it may be a tear, which is different from a prolapse, between the vaginal and anal walls, called a fistula, and if you have another VBAC you could be left with some serious and long-term faecal and urinary continence problems.

the only way to find out what exactly it is is for someone to examine you.

you can't know any other way.

[babymt]

Lemontart I think talking to my midwife might be a really good idea. I have a slight problem in that I'm getting an IM but haven't chosen one yet but my current nhs midwife seems quite nice.

I've not had an internal and would also be worried about that happening too but at least with my IM I will hopefully trust her and it'd be in my own home. Also shes female and not a dr. The male obstetrian I saw before who did assault me was well obviously male coz i just said that and was also foreign and rough with me.

Can I have valium when pregnant? I would only go see an obs if I was promised a female one and not at the hospital I went to before. I don't think I'd be able to control my panic attacks in that sort of situation.

I know I sound incredibly wussy and pathetic btw. I hate myself for it

[babymt]

No scrap that. I hate the medical profession for doing this to me. For ruining my trust in them and causing me such upset.

[expatinscotland]

you can indeed have small doses of valium whilst pregnant.

[babymt]

I think I'd be best printing this thread off to give to my midwife/gp if I get the courage up to go coz I can't imagine saying what I said in the first instance out loud. You can't tell someone you stuck your finger up your arse!!!!

[expatinscotland]

if it helps you to get the treatment you need and deserve to print it, by all means do!

[Aitch]

oh pah. i can tell you i had to do it just the other day. post-baby constipation, a girl's gotta do.

(am taking your concerns seriously btw, but these are common problems really. although they do merit investigation, most definitely.)

[expatinscotland]

raises hand up here, too!

will deffo be getting checked over down there if these dreadful piles don't clear out after DS is born - sitting down to feed on top of such painful things is not good.

needs must, i want them gone.

[Lemontart]

good plan babymt - much easier to print this off, let her read it and I bet she will totally see how you feel and be able to support you effectively
Do NOT hate yourself over this. I am so glad you added a post after that! You are right to blame your previous experience, not yourself.

I had an awful experience with DD1?s labour and birth to the point where I was ready to home birth solo style! Fortunately, on meeting my new MW (moved to different area with DD2) I found the courage with DH there to tell her about how I felt and how worried and hurt, let down etc I felt. It all came rushing out and this poor woman who had popped round for an initial "in the home" meeting ended up spending several hours handing me tissues. It was wonderfully cathartic and I did manage to build up my trust and confidence throughout the second pregnancy. She was fantastic and very very understanding. I even managed to discuss stress incontinence with her which was HUGE deal to me and a total relief once discussed! I am a big supporter of MWs as a great source of female trust and support

[expatinscotland]

hope you are getting this sorted out so you can go on enjoying your pregnancy and your life.