Worried About DH - Sudden Erection Issues

(17 Posts)
baggyleggings Thu 04-Jun-20 11:07:31

I'm a long term poster (penis beaker, Balonz, long name for Hugo...) but have name changed for this as I think some users know me in RL and this is very private.

As the title says, I am really worried that my normally healthy DH who is 40, has suddenly (as in fine one day, big problem the next) developed difficulty getting and sustaining an erection. We have been together for 23 years and this has never happened once in all that time (though I gather that it is quite common for men to have problems from time to time).

We are currently TTC, so it is a problem from that point of view, but I am more concerned that it is a symptom of an underlying health condition. He seems ok in himself and says he feels fine. He is a big bloke (ex rugby player) but not fat, does a very physical job and goes out running regularly. He drinks moderately and doesn't smoke. He says that the only other problem he's noticed recently is that his grip wasn't as strong as usual one day this week.

I am really worried for him, sad for us both if this is going to be an ongoing issue in our sex life and also concerned about TTC.

Does anyone have any experience of this, or medical expertise to offer? I have told him to make an appointment with the GP but fear that this won't be seen as urgent enough to get an appointment at the moment.

OP’s posts: |
baggyleggings Thu 04-Jun-20 18:23:29


OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:27:04

He needs to start off by getting his hormone levels checked. You can even do that with a home kit you do yourself and then send to a lab.

TippledPink Thu 04-Jun-20 18:30:14

This has happened with my OH recently, he is 50 but fit and slim, doesn't drink or smoke. Best thing to do is speak to the GP- that's as far as we have got with it! I am just responding to empathise really, it's quite frustrating.

Aria2015 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:30:15

How many times has this happened? When you say he was fine from one day to the next. Is this very recent and only happened once or twice? Or has this happened quite a few times? Does he wake up with an erection still?

Chickoletta Thu 04-Jun-20 19:13:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baggyleggings Thu 04-Jun-20 19:15:53

Name change fail above! blush

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justanotherneighinparadise Thu 04-Jun-20 19:17:04

TTC will do that!

LycraLovingLass Thu 04-Jun-20 19:19:07

Could it be performance anxiety with the whole TTC?

I would speak to the GP which uou have already suggested and see what happens over the next couple of weeks.

ScarfLadysBag Thu 04-Jun-20 19:19:27

I wouldn't be surprised if it was the TTC and the pressure. It's very common.

ScarfLadysBag Thu 04-Jun-20 19:20:06

And I don't mean you are pressuring him, but he has a pressure on him to perform.

Aria2015 Thu 04-Jun-20 19:31:38

As it's very recent and only happened a couple of times I'd be careful not to make it too much of a big deal too soon as it could make it worse. My dh had never had issues, can always get it up even after a few drinks etc... but a few months we had a night where it just wasn't happening. I was shocked because it's never been an issue. I could tell he was feeling embarrassed and self conscious and I was feeling worried but I just shrugged it off and kept things super light. I knew if he got in his head about it then it could become an issue. I left things a few days and then we tried again and I acted as if it had never happened and everything was fine (although took a bit longer to 'get going') and it's not happened again since and everything is back to how it used to be.

I know it must be worrying and frustrating as you're TTC but it might be a short lived issue. Perhaps give it a few more 'tries' before getting too concerned?

Rumtopf Thu 04-Jun-20 19:33:26

I agree with getting checked out at the GP but chances are he's caught up in his own head with ttc and feeling the pressure.

baggyleggings Thu 04-Jun-20 19:55:42

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. Yes, I've played it very lightly with him and have brushed it off. Fingers crossed that it will just sort itself out. It has been a strange experience for us both, having always had a fantastic sex life. @Aria2015 - your experience gives me hope here!

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goose1964 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:02:33

He needs to speak to his GP , not to worry you but it can be a sign of heart problems. It is probably stress but he needs to by it eliminated from possible causes.

Roselilly36 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:08:55

See GP without delay to rule out conditions that can cause this symptom, don’t ignore it through embarrassment, it may be psychological but better to get it checked out.

Chickoletta Thu 04-Jun-20 20:40:22

Thank you. That is my fear. I’m also concerned that the loss of grip thing may be related, although apparently that’s better now.

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