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General health

Uncomfortable embarrassing problem going to the toilet

20 replies

LifeBeginsNow · 09/09/2019 10:52

Can I have some advice please? I'm so fed up and embarrassed but basically I'm having trouble going to the toilet. It feels like something is stuck and pushing out and I can feel something pushing down whenever I stand up. It feels like my bum is going to fall out.

A GP did look when I came out of hospital and said that the diahrea has had an effect and to drink fybrgel. My worry is that after reading another thread on here about a little boy with a rectal prolapse, I think I've got that. On the Bupa website it says its uncommon for my age but people who have had spinal tumors get them (this is why I was in hosptial).

I haven't been properly to the toilet for days but I need to go. TMI but I've just basically had to help get some poo out with a tissue. It's not enough though and when I stand up I get the heavy feeling again.

I don't know whether to take laxatives and help it along that way. I'm now drinking two sachets of fybrgel a day. The hospital did want to prescribe laxatives when I left but because I couldn't stop going to the loo, I didn't get them from the pharmacy.

Another issue is with wind. I seem to have no control over when it happens and it is so embarrassing. It's not just a little 'parp' itll keep coming. I'm guessing it's all related but it's getting me so down. I don't want to be around people but I've got to go walking regularly as part of my recovery.

Does anyone have any advice?

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RightYesButNo · 09/09/2019 11:25

Hey - these are the kind of things we talk about so little but they’re so important and they can leave you feeling so sick and so isolated as you’ve discovered. So, several things.

  1. Fybrogel is HIGH FIBER “laxative.” It seems this may definitely not be the right type of laxative for you because this could bulk up your stool and you already hate having trouble going.


  1. Anything high fiber like Fybrogel can cause a huge amount of wind as a side effect. So if you started having wind with the Fybrogel, don’t get too upset because they could absolutely be related.


  1. You also need to drink an absolute ton of water with a medication like this to get the stool out and get the laxative effect to work. It seems to me that you may need a different type of laxative for now, a non-bulking one, or maybe even an enema if you feel the poo is “down there” but not coming out, to sort of clear you out and then start again. But it sounds like maybe you need something more like a stool softener, to make it easier to go, than a high fiber laxative to increase the bulk of your stool.


  1. Also, the other issue you’re describing; it seems likely you probably have hemorrhoids from pushing and not being able to go. You can have both internal and external hemorrhoids, so an internal hemorrhoid could cause that feeling you’ve explained.


Speak to your doctor, or even a chemist if you have a good one locally, and explain the issue (have poo, can’t get it out).

Good luck, OP. I know not being able to go can seriously make you feel so awful.
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LifeBeginsNow · 09/09/2019 11:46

Thank you for your advice. I don't think I am drinking enough water so I'll get back on that now.

It may well have been when I started taking the fybrgel that the wind happened so if I move to a stool softener, with any luck this will stop.

I know it sounds ridiculous but I've been crying my eyes out this morning. I just don't want something else wrong after my recent surgery.

I'll go get some water now and ask my husband to pick up the softeners after work. Thank you again!

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pinkstar01 · 09/09/2019 11:56

Try using a glycerin suppository - I'm currently pregnant and get backup if I don't use one every other day!

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FinallyHere · 09/09/2019 12:47

Thank you too for posting. MN is such a great source of good, reliable information

Hope you get it all sorted.

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Seaweed42 · 09/09/2019 14:32

When you go to the loo, put your feet up on a small box (like a wipes box). Keep your back straight then lean forward. Do this instead of pushing. You can clench and unclench your bum instead of pushing.
If you are taking strong painkillers after surgery or if you had morphine that can cause constipation. Doing pelvic floor exercises might help. A physiotherapist can help you do these properly. Hopefully it will all come good over the coming days.

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SchrodingersMeowth · 09/09/2019 14:35

I have prolapses, including recital and it does feel like this, can you feel anything coming down, like a protrusion of any sort?

I’m 28 btw so it absolutely can happen to people who are younger.

Fybogel should be a no no btw, too much fibre can make it even harder to go.

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vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 09/09/2019 14:38

How long is it since your surgery? Sounds like you need a review. If you were on opiod painkillers constipation is a known side effect. The last thing you need to be doing is straining on the loo post-op though. have a chat with the pharmacist, GP or ring the surgeon's secretary.

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ajandjjmum · 09/09/2019 14:40

When my DM was constipated, she was prescribed everything and nothing worked except for Ortisan (jelly cubes) from H & B.

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FelixFelicis6 · 09/09/2019 14:41

I think you definitely need a medical professional to have another look and see what’s going on

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LifeBeginsNow · 09/09/2019 15:01

I think I just want to try and clear out a bit first before I ask for help. I'll stop with the fybrgel and I've asked my husband to get me some stool softeners.

I've drank more water but I now feel like I need a wee desperately. I think it's all the pressure down there.

I didn't have too much morphine when I was in hospital and I've been out weeks now but the last few days I've had a couple of doses of oramorph so that probably hasn't helped.

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lyrebird1 · 09/09/2019 20:50

Hi, sorry to hear about your spinal tumour. I have bowel issues due spinal cord issues (syringomyelia) and part of the problem for me is that the nerve signals to the bowel are lost (neurogenic bowel).

I would recommend using glycerin suppositories to clear out anything that is in your rectum. The stool softeners are a good idea (sodium docusate is more gentle). You can use bisocodyl for a few days to speed things up, especially if you are using morphine, as that can make the bowel sluggish.

I hope this is a temporary thing for you, but please feel you can ask for help. I didn't for ages, with lots of things, but it makes a huge difference when you do. If you need to, they can refer you to the local bladder and bowel clinic. They have a lot more knowledge than most GPs.

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LifeBeginsNow · 09/09/2019 21:38

Lyre, I think that's the reason I'm scared to ask for help. I just don't want it to be 'something'. I know if I have any incontinence it's serious and I'm to go to A&E though.

I've got numbness around my bum and groin since the operation. It has improved a little and when the consultant did a sort of stabby test, I could feel it but it's not right.

Urgh its rubbish being ill! I've managed to go to the loo a little which has provided some relief and I've taken 2 stool softeners and some laxatives. Fingers crossed it works!

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lyrebird1 · 09/09/2019 22:40

It can take a hell of a lot longer to recover than you think it will from this sort of operation. People poking around in/near spinal cords is a pretty big thing, so you should take it easy on yourself and not expect too much.

I think you are much too early in your recovery for anybody to know whether any damage is permanent. My consultants were looking at 6-12 months minimum before telling me things were unlikely to improve. They were still able to help with the symptoms in the meantime though, so it is still worth asking for help.

If the GP is no use, I imagine you have direct contact with your consultant (mine is via a lovely, reassuring specialist nurse).

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vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 10/09/2019 10:04

Life why do you want to clear a bit before seeking help? There is nothing to be gained from waiting.

You are uncomfortable and worried. Go and take your bunged up bum to a doctor. The longer you wait the more poo is getting jammed up there - just go.

There are no prizes for waiting or shifting a wee bit. Only more pain. At least, if you are numb, you won't feel the piles you're going to get...Go!

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LifeBeginsNow · 10/09/2019 17:09

I know vivarium, it is stupid to wait but mixed with my embarrassment I just feel like I'm not going to be listened to. The doctor that came out when I first came out of hospital seemed to think all was fine and I just needed the sachets. Plus I've had years of my tumor being ignored and I just preempt the battle in my head and wonder if I've got the energy anymore.

I've been to the loo this morning (a very welcome relief) and I've been keeping up with the water and stool softeners. I will book in though. I'll call tomorrow and see if they've got any appointments.

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vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 11/09/2019 08:58

Am cheering that you've been, t hat's great. It's incredibly uncomfortable and misery making, constipation.

IT is embarrassing, of course - but, not to the GP. They'll listen because this is ongoing, being a bit bunged up post op is normal - this isn't normal now.

Sounds like you're doing the right things diet wise. Don't suffer though, you have had a rough ride, eh?

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79andnotout · 11/09/2019 09:38

Please go to your GP. You're building it up in your head but it's nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. I had similar symptoms and my GP had me facing the wall on the bed, and examined my bum in about thirty seconds. Diagnosed haemorrhoids and gave me some pessaries. I was in and out in five minutes and she said she does it all the time and thanked me for coming in instead of putting it off. My constipation didn't go away and it turned out to be due to an under active thyroid, but I will never suffer the pain of bum trouble again in silence for months like I did. I will just go straight in if it doesn't clear up quickly.

This is likely due to your pain meds. They give me constipation too.

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LifeBeginsNow · 11/09/2019 11:08

I promise I will go but my period has just started. My back is agony today too as I've tried to catch up on admin of all things and lugging the paperwork downstairs for recycling has hurt me.

The 'prolapse' isn't anywhere near as bad now so I think maybe it is piles. Its definitely worse when I walk around though but because of the numbness I can't seem to pull things back in using muscles so it still feels like something is going to fall out (lovely image!).

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FinallyHere · 11/09/2019 11:51

Look, there is a reason you have a GP

Your first priority should be to get a GP appointment. Not do (anything) and then get an appointment. Appointment, soonest.

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bombomboobah · 11/09/2019 12:11

Have you thought about using a plain water enema?

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