Need some much needed advice for a friend please.

[LeBe]

Hi im hoping some of you can give me some advice for a friend. She has an 8 month old baby and has just found out she is pregnant again. It has come to a huge surprise to her and she has been really stressing about what to do for the last week or so. She has finally decided not to keep the baby but has been told she has to wait 1 or 2 weeks to go and have the termination. Does anybody know if this is right because surely if you have made such a hard decision you shouldnt have to wait so long for help plus it might make her too late for the tablet so she will have to have an op.
I dont really like to talk about this because i dont want to upset anyone and its not what i would do myself, but i promised her some help.

[stoppinattwo]

It depends on her dates how many weeks pregnant she is. if she is only say 4 weeks or so, then yes they could possibly make her wait.

[ash6605]

someone i knew went through this too.she found out she was pregnant at 6 weeks,it wasn't until her 11th week that she eventually had the termination-by surgery as they wanted her to have counselling first then they tried to talk her out of it saying she didn't seem certain it was what she wanted.

[penmack]

lebe in my area the wait can be 1 -2 weeks,the hospital is so busy (and understaffed) this is normally given as the standard wait but some times you end up going in a bit sooner than the 2 weeks. hope this helps. best wishes to your friend

[LeBe]

Ah thankyou so much. I just feel so sorry for her it has been so difficult for her and now she has come to a decision she just wants to get it done so she can start to come to terms with it. I think to start with she thought she was 4-5 but it might be a bit more now, i just think its awful if she has to wait another 2 weeks and then has to have a worse procedure because of it.

[ash6605]

At the same time though,it gives her longer just in case there is any doubt in her mind rather than rushing in with a hasty decision and regretting it later iykwim?!

[mummytosteven]

could you ask MN to delete this thread, and in the meantime post it again in another section - say under Health or Other Subjects - as this could be upsetting for women who have had m/c.

[LeBe]

I am sorry i did say at the beginning that i didnt want to upset anyone but then i read some other threads on here about the same sort of thing so thats why i posted here. Anyway i will ask MN to delete it now thankyou for your help.

[PeckaRolloverAgain]

LeBe, dont worry about it.

I have had 1 miscarriage and going through a suspected one at the moment. I am not upset by your post, just really feel for your friend at this difficult time.

If she really cannot wait would she consider going private?

[Uki]

Le Be
hope not to interfere, if your friend has made the decision, but have you asked her, if she plans to have more children later?

My experience of terminations (through friends)is full on guilt and grief, especially because they had them and then had/wanted children. It is a tricky situation, but be prepared for after, as she will be very down and feel guilty after.

[LeBe]

Well as ive said it is not what i would do, i was told i could never have children and am now blessed with a 6month old little boy, which is why i was so worried about upsetting anyone because this is the sort of thing that would upset me (and still does) because i can remember how hard it is. But although i wish she had made a different decision it is not my decision to make and i cant force her. The other thing is i have tried to explain about certain factors like you say but i believe she has come to her decision and will not change her mind so i dont want to make her feel worse but i am worried she will regret it later. By the way i have asked MN to delete the thread but not sure they will do anything today cos of bank holiday! But will now contuine on the Health thread if anyone would be kind enough to comment or offer advice thats where it will be.