Feeding peg

[Loopyloo97]

Hi everyone
I’ve posted so many different threads on here regarding my elderly mother the latest news is that she has vascular dementia her lucid moments no longer exist and she bed bound doubly imcontinent
We’ve had a lot of eating problems with her orally an ng tube was fitted for two weeks but was constantly moved even wearing restraint mittens .. For the last week she’s hardly eaten so the nutrition nurse has suggested a feeding peg I find it so invasive and my mum has been through so much over the last few months
Has anyone got any advice please?

[JoWithABow]

Can you speak to the doctor instead of a nurse? Ask them what the options are?
What would you like to happen? It sounds very hard 💐

[Loopyloo97]

Thankyou Jowithabow, Yes I've spoken to the Dr today they have run every test that they can on my mum he said that the dementia is preventing her from eating. This morning I managed to get a spoon of cornflakes into her mouth anad she spat it out this is not my mum.
The DR informed me that a peg is quite invasive and that it wouldn't improve her quality of life it would however prolong it .. My poor mum has lost all quality of life along with her dignity... The next step after discharge would be a nursing home where I can imagine she would be left to wither as she hasn't got any communication any more :(

[Spottyparrot99]

Hi, sorry to hear about your Mum.
My dad has a dengenerative brain disease. Like motor nueron disease. He still has cognitive function but can not move, blink, focus, swallow, speak or anything. He chose to have a peg before his disease progressed. We found the actual procedure of installing the peg was very straight forward and using it is easy. His weight isn’t falling any more. We feed him with fortisip high calorie drinks through it. He cannot swallow food any other way.
However, and I don’t want to upset you, I wouldn’t choose one for myself. It has trapped him in a body that has failed him and lengthened his suffering. He is in pain. He won’t get better. Your mother, I hope it not physically suffering- but mentally she is. I just don’t know what to suggest- I just wanted to reach out and say we’ve been through this too.
I don’t want to loose my dad- but I don’t want to see him hurting either when I know he can’t recover. He would be at peace by now if not for the peg. But it was his choice. What do you think your mum would have picked when she was well?

[Loopyloo97]

Thankyou Spottyparrot , I’m so sorry to hear about your poor dad it’s heart breaking 😢
I feel that my mum would be mortified if she knew what’s shes going through she has lost everything now and we have been told won’t recover . My dad on the other hand wants to hold onto her and has told me tonight he wants her to have the peg I have told him that I will support him in his decision but to be honest I’m not sure that I agree .. We have a meeting tomorrow with the Drs so will see what they suggest x

[Spottyparrot99]

Good luck with the dr tomorrow. One thing to ask him might be if your Mum is not allowing her careers to feed her might she object to those who try to feed her by peg? It is an easy process on my dad as he can’t move. But it could be tricky If the patient tried to get up half way, or wouldn’t let the carer near, or pulled the peg out. They might well not understand what was going on. I hope the dr is able to advise. I know how your dad feels - you want them near so much, but they may have already left. I miss my dad so much and he’s still here. Sending you good wishes for tomorrow.

[Loopyloo97]

Thankyou , My mum is so weak now I really don't think that she is aware of what is going on around her , But I will ask about the chances of her pulling the peg out I'm so dreading this meeting :(

[JoWithABow]

I hope the meeting went OK and your questions got answered. What was the doctors steer on it? Did she/he say whether if you go down the peg route could it be removed at a later date if felt in your mum's best interests?

It must be so hard for you and your dad,especially if you have differing view points.

[Munchyseeds]

I understand how your poor dad is feeling....it is so so difficult for everyone but I have to say it is not something I would want to do for a loved one
Hope the meeting was helpful

[Loopyloo97]

Thankyou for your messages , the meeting didn’t go too well , the dr informed us that the peg could prolong her life but there isn’t a guarantee he also stressed that it wouldn’t give her quality . Once the peg settled there’s a chance of infections . However if she doesn’t have the peg and isn’t eating they would keep the fluids going and she would naturally pass away which could be weeks ... At the moment we don’t know what the best thing to do is my poor dad said that she ate well today but the problem is she could stop eating for days after today .I feel numb at the moment I think in disbelief at what’s happened to my mum