Speech problem / Social anxiety in almost-3 year old..

[mm22bys]

Hi,

There's probably a couple of issues involved here, so apologies for a garbled message!

my DS1 (2.11) is going through a really shy phase now that we are spending time with grandparents he hasn't seen much before, and now his Grand Mother thinks he has a speech problem.

He chats a lot to me at home, but since we've been here he's barely said boo (especially to GM - I think DS has picked up on GMs concerns about him).

GM is a learning difficulties expert, and thinks he has fine receptive speech, but thinks he has a problem with expressive speech.

What sort of expressive expressions should an almost-three year old be expressing?

I feel he has really regressed since we got here (are in Oz from UK) and DH has organised a hearing test for Friday, and three speech therapy lessons for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.

How can I improve his confidence and social interaction, and are these sessions a bit OTT? Obviously if there is a problem I want to know about it so we can do something about it, but I feel like this is all pointless given I am going to arrange for him to be assessed when we get back to London in mid-May...

Thanks

[ChocolateTeapot]

I have no idea about what expressive expressions an almost 3 year old should be expressing but to be honest I wouldn't have though they would be very much - red car maybe ? My DD's speech therapist says that rough rule of thumb is one word age one, two words together age 2 and three words together age 3.

From what you say about him chatting to you at home but not there I think he might well just be reacting to a big change in circumstances which can be really unsettling for little ones. I think if it was me I would maybe go ahead with the hearing test but would leave well alone with speech therapy until you get back the UK and give him the chance to settle back into familiar surroundings.

[Durmstrang]

It makes sense to go along to the hearing test and speech therapy session - and it will be good to have feedback from a professional who is not emotionally involved with your son.
He is very young still, and lots of children are shy around people and places they are not familiar with.
I think your MIL is trying to be helpful, but being a bit full-on, and is actually causing tensions and stresses that are unhelpful.

[mm22bys]

Thank you.

That is exactly what I think!

I think I will go ahead with the hearing test, because he hasn't had his hearing assessed since he was young but in comfortable situations he talks and sings happily enough.

He said to me on the plane "I want to go home", and last night "I don't want to go to bed".

But he won't talk in front of his gm.

Thanks for your input, makes me think I am ont so far off the mark!

[mm22bys]

Durmstrang thanks too, that is exactly what is happening! I'll take him along to the ST sessions but try to make them as fun sounding as possible, I so don't want DS to think / know there is a problem.....

Thanks,

[Durmstrang]

My DS2 had ST, and the sessions were always fun and low key, and he just thought he was there to play.
I'm sure they will go well.

[luckylady74]

i think there's 2 issues here - you feeling rushed into action and your genuine fears for your son.
can you talk through this with the gm or if you can't delay the speech stuff till the uk can you go along too and make them very low key or use it as a chance to discuss things with professionals.
imo any 2 yr old could be very disturbed by such a huge change in his life and this could cause all of the withdrawal stuff - he can't really understand that he's going home and he doesn't know these people who will expect a bond with him because that's what grandparents do.i think a professional opinion from a family member is difficult - i know a salt who didn't speak throughout her autistic son's diagnosis session because she was so fearful of influencing the doctors and knew she didn't have the emotional detachment to form an opinion herself.

my son is autistic with speech problems and along with grammar confusion and so on has never at the age of 5 described how he feels about something using words other than 'like', but tbh at 2 i didn't expect him too.
i'm sure when you get home you'll be able to gain a true perspective on this - being in someone else's home is very difficult in my experience - difficult for your dh too as he'll have all his trust in his mum too.