Second prolapse repair surgery has not worked. Gutted.

[Xmasbaby11]

After a long labour with a large (9 15) baby 5 years ago, I was left with a severe prolapsed uterus. It hung down in my vagina and was visible. As a temporary measure I used a ring pessary to keep it in place. I had my second DC by ELCS 3 years ago, and knowing my family was complete, was able to have repair surgery.

15 months ago I had my prolapse repaired by vaginal and key hole surgery, using mesh. It was a complex operation and painful to recover from, and I was off work for 2 months. The surgeons said it was successful but they had lifted it at the back, and the front also needed repairing. So my uterus was slightly improved but still hung down and I needed a ring. They recommended a second surgery which they hoped would be successful. I had this surgery 2 weeks ago, and they said it was successful, but my uterus has fallen again and I can feel it. I was so optimistic and told my DH and parents (who have supported me a lot because we have 2 young dc and I'm out of action) that I thought it had worked. Now it has fallen again, I am gutted and I haven't told them yet because they will be so disappointed.

I don't see my consultant until 3 months after (by then I will be recovered) and can discuss my situation then. Before this operation, I thought it would be my last try, but now I feel like I don't want to live with it forever if I don't have to.

I'm 41 and the DC are 3 and 5. My DH has suffered from depression (not too bad at the moment) and I usually do more of the childcare (I work 3 days a week), so me being out of action is a strain on him.My parents are staying with us on and off to help out, however, they are late 70s and get tired so they are limited with what they can do. I feel it's been so hard on everyone supporting me, and I'm hardly any better off from the surgeries than I was before,

Has anyone been through this? Is it worth further operations? I'm not incontinent but cannot e.g. jump up and down without leaking. The main effect of the prolapse is my confidence that I feel my vagina is ruined and it's totally put me off sex as my uterus is so low. I can have sex (lying on my back) but even the act of taking the ring pessary out completely kills any sexual urge for me. As a result we only have sex a few times a year.

Would love anyone's thoughts or advice.

[froggers1]

No knowledge of this but that doesn't sound much fun. Is a hysterectomy an option? My Grab had one in her late 40s for a prolapse.

[Xmasbaby11]

Thanks for replying. I don't feel ready to discuss it IRL yet. Yes, the consultant said I could have a hysterectomy. I could look into that. There's something about it that sounds so dramatic and emotive, but I know I don't want more children so I'm not sure why I'm put off.

[Rainbowsandunicorns88]

I'd be pushing for a hysterectomy too if you're sure your family is complete x

[Xmasbaby11]

Thanks Rainbows. I am sure (wouldn't have had the vaginal repair if I hadn't) so I don't know why it feels emotional. I'd associate it with older women. The consultant said it's better to have surgery earlier and no reason to put it off until I'm older. It is hard being out of action with 2 young kids who are both quite demanding. And a big hassle at work getting someone to cover me for 6 weeks or so - especially when you don't get a surgery date until a month or two beforehand.

[bingolittle]

No personal experience of this - sorry. But a friend of mine (same age as you) went through a very similar process - failed attempts at repair using mesh etc - and has found that the hysterectomy has given her a new lease of life after some years of exhaustion / annoyance / recovery periods after surgery. She can finally get on with her life again.

[Xmasbaby11]

That's very encouraging Bing!

It's hard to contemplate more surgery at the moment … it's only been 2 weeks and still can't drive for another 4 or be very active. Too much time to think and wallow!

[sadie9]

You are only 2 weeks after the operation!
I had a bladder repair op and for the first few months even it kept feeling it 'had come back' but it wasn't.
You will still be fairly well swollen inside there...I would give it another 8 weeks before you start thinking all is lost, it may not be - at all.
I was very swollen inside, much more than I thought I would be. They have poked and prodded you about in there. I could hardly bend down and tie my shoes for many weeks because of my 'invisible pregnant belly' feeling. And for me, the swelling seemed to come back from time to time for the first year but actually my repair was ok.
Really, in 3 months time things might feel very different. I absolutely remember feeling like you did, that the cure was worse than the disease and why had I bothered if I could still feel 'the thing' in there.
You probably weren't able to do pelvic floors properly before your op, you may well be able to do those now which will also help. Try to stick to the rules about not heavy lifting and not hoovering, dragging heavy duvets etc. Divide the shopping into many small bags etc.
In relation to recovery, number 1 tip is Go Slow Now so that you can Go Fast Later. So please take heart, try to relax and enjoy your enforced holiday and give those stitches time to bed in.

[sadie9]

Forgot to say, I had some weeing issues after mine, needing to get up at night, feeling like I needed to go a lot, but these all came right in time....

[Xmasbaby11]

Sadie thanks, it's useful to have that perspective. So maybe I should try not to worry about it just yet. It just feels completely different. It just suddenly reappeared and fell down after 2 weeks of being 'up'. Last time it happened I was told I was probably just swollen and needed to settle, but my uterus was actually right down in the entrance to my vagina and I could feel it. It did not go back up again. But that is really encouraging that it can settle as yours did sadie.

I am a bit of an overreacher so I will try not to create a big drama. You're right about the pelvic floor exercises and I am being vigilant about those. I am getting a lot of rest and not lifting things so hopefully this will all help.

[Fauxgina]

I'm on a prolapse support group on Facebook, it's common for people to feel he problem has not been resolved whilst your body is still healing and swollen etc. Ultimately that's why your check up is at 3 months not 2 weeks. It's understandable to feel upset and concerned but do hold on for a bit longer and see what your consultant has to say

I've had a severe prolapse and am in recovery from a hysterectomy and pelvic repair 6 weeks ago and I know how distressed it can make you feel about yourself and how tempting it is to judge the repair too soon but you need a little more time

[PollyPerky]

I think if you have had severe prolapse the answer is a hysterectomy, I had a slight prolapse and had it repaired 25 years ago. I understand how you feel about lack of confidence etc etc. You need to give your body time to heal, yes, but maybe get a 2nd opinion?

But if your family is complete now, I think it would be better to go for the full monty! In a few years time when you are peri meno and then menopausal, the tissues deteriorate further. You are likely to get a better outcome from the op while your tissues are 'young' than if you leave it for 10+ years, IMO. Something to discuss with your consultant.

[Xmasbaby11]

Thanks for the supportive answers. I am managing to get it into perspective. I think having an option - hysterectomy - is reassuring me it isn't the end, but I will feel better when I speak to my consultant. I may be able to see him before the 3 months is up but I do appreciate everyone on here (and the professionals) reminding me that it's too early to know whether it's worked.

So I told my DH who was very supportive and encouraged me to get whatever treatment or operation I thought was best, as soon as I could. My DM wanted to persuade me not to have any more surgery and manage with the ring - maybe because I didn't want to go into details about how I felt and the fact it puts me off sex.

I have seen 2 consultants in my time, and while they are knowledgeable and professional and supportive, they are both male (and very good-looking!). I know it shouldn't make a difference but it feels hard talking to them about some intimate details and sometimes I think it would be easier with a female consultant, but I don't know how to phrase that without sounding sexist.

I hadn't even thought about the menopause and the effects of that! That definitely makes sense.

[picklemepopcorn]

Can you telephone and ask the consultant, rather than waiting?

[Bishybarnybee]

You can't choose when to have an operation on the NHS but if it's not time critical they may delay it to a time that works for you. My son had an operation delayed to half term and I had one delayed for 3 months to make it easier for them to cover at work.

But as others have said, it may get slightly better with time. I am a big fan of these exercises, it's a very balanced all round programme for pelvic floor and core stability:
www.hab-it.com

[Xmasbaby11]

Picklemepopcorn I have phoned the consultant and waiting to hear back (he wasn't in that day). Even a phone call would reassure me I think.

Bishybarnybee thanks for the link. I'm keen to get into good habits now I'm at home and have time to do so.

I did delay the operations before, and was able to say 'not before X date'. However I couldn't be very specific as there are very few slots available (long operation using 3 surgeons), and they offered me one date per month. The first time it was on DD2's birthday, and the second time was in the middle of the Easter hols! I am not complaining about the NHS though - there is no good time for an operation anyway when you have young DC that need childcare, and a DH that is often on call. The summer would be the worst with the long school holidays and my parents going away - so maybe I can aim for Sept - that isn't too long to wait.

[Jroseforever]

Sorry OP to bring this up - but did it transport it was a failure or just swelling?