Dad suffered Serious Head Injury

[calebsmum]

Last Tuesday my dad had a fall and suffered a serious head injury, he's now critical but stable. Is on a ventilator and constant monitoring of intercranial head pressure. He's been in a coma since the accident but the doctors have just started to gradually reduce the sedatives so he should hopefully wake up later in the week. When he wakes up we will find out if he's suffered brain damage and to what extent.

Everyone in my family seems to be coping with this except me, i've fallen to pieces and am having problems coping. I've got a history of panic and anxiety attacks and for the first time in 2 years i've had to go back on medication (diazapam). Ds (2) is picking up on this and he's really upset and clingy, DP can't go to work as i'm in such a state and I feel so bloody guilty. Why do I have to fall apart??

[whoopsee]

{{{{HUGS}}}}
sorry to hear this

[tribpot]

God - you poor thing, that is so awful. Don't feel guilty about your reaction, with a history of anxiety it's to be expected, surely? You've obviously done well to cope without the medication for two years, hopefully once it starts to kick in you will feel more in control.

Hoping for the very best possible news for your dad and your family xx

[buktus]

i hope you can all receive good news about your dad everyone reacts differently but he is still here and you have to be so thankful for that what i would give to hug my dad again

[calebsmum]

I know he's still here but everytime they reduce the sedation his head pressure shoots up and he gets very unstable. Last night my mum gave me and my sisters some money so we can get to the hospital if the worse happens. This has depressed me and panicked me so much, i'm a daddy's girl and I can't face losing him. They can't keep him sedated any longer and will wake him up over the next few days but it's very risky and I just can't take much more of this. It's ds's 2nd birthday today and we've done nothing, not even been able to get him a present and I feel so shit because of it. Just don't feel like i'm capable of doing anything until I know my dad's going to live.

[jalopy]

Sorry to hear about your dad, caleb. Try not to worry about the process of waking him up. He's in good hands and the staff will be very familiar with the risks of reducing his sedation and the management of his head injury. Look after yourselves and your little one.

[Overrun]

Oh thats really awful, Calebsmummy. I hope he is okay. Try not to beat yourself up about your reaction, we are all different. Some people hold themselves together during a crisis, and then go to pieces afterwards.

[maisym]

sorry for what you're going through xxx

Hope you get some good news - agree with Japloy.

Take care of yourself - don't worry about your lo's birthday - little kids don't know their birthday - celebrate it when you feel able.

[Eeek]

your ds doesn't know it's his birthday so leave that till you're ready to celebrate. Can't help with the medical stuff except to tell you that people in coma can still hear you and may remember what you say when they wake up. A school friend of mine did. Why don't you go to the hospital and tell your dad how much you love him and how important he is to you. It may help you both. If you feel up to it you could make a tape of you and your ds playing for him to hear when you aren't around. We taped ourselves chatting in the pub.

As to your reaction, well people are different. Your family might fall apart later , or they might just be better at hiding it now.

[hoolagirl]

Calebsmum, its no wonder you are falling apart, what an awful thing to happen.
Is sounds like your mum is coping by being practical as there is nothing else she can do.
I can bet that your family are feeling the same as yourself, it just shows itself in different ways in different people.
In situations like this, I always go into practical mode, if I were to stop I would break down.
Please try and focus just now on the kids, they may take your mind off it for a few moments here and there.
So so sorry to hear of your situation

[suedonim]

So sorry to hear about your dad, Calebsmum. If it's any consolation, my ds2 has been working in an ITU on a non-medical basis and says that from his observations he reckons if patients get over the first 24hrs the vast majority of them will survive. Get well wishes to your dad.

[kokeshi]

So sorry to hear about your Dad Calebsmummy, what an awful situation. I think you're dealing with it fine, some people react at the time, others later. There's no right or wrong way to cope with it. Thinking of you.

[geekgrrl]

calebsmummy, you're having to deal with a dreadful situation and everybody has their own way of coping (or not!).
don't feel bad or embarrassed by your reaction - my mum was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer 4 weeks ago completely out of the blue and I was a complete wreck too at first - dh had to come home early on several days because I was just in pieces, and I have no history of anxiety.

Fingers crossed for your dad.

xx

[maisym]

thoughts for you calebsmum xxx

[calebsmum]

Dads still not woken up and i'm starting to worry. He's done permanent damage to the front of his brain and had to have an emergency op to remove blood clots and dead tissue. I'm coping better but am worried about my mum, she's thrown herself into work and I really think she's starting to make herself ill. Can't believe it's been 2 weeks already and that this has happened to my dad.

[prettybird]

{{{{hugs}}}} to you. I can partially understand what you are going thorugh (see my own thread in Health about my Mum's bad accident in India - but at least in my Mum's case, the prognosis is supposed to be good, even if it will take months, as there has been no bleeding and she doesn't need surgery.

it's the feeling of helplessness that is the worst - and not knowing if you will ever "see" your real Dad again, even if he is physically still there.

Just take things one day at a time. What you can do is be there for your Mum - when she slows down, she will need someone to be there for her. You paniced- she's working - we all have different coping mechanisms. maybe in one sense yours is a healthier one, as you've faced up to the worst, been scared by it and are now coming through it. Your mum still has to do that.