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52 small changes - Week 20

(15 Posts)
NightWanderer Tue 10-May-16 05:33:27

My computer is broken so I'm posting on my phone. Sorry for typos!

Week 20 - Live with purpose

The purpose of life is a purpose. Find your purpose in life and live it every day.

Just as you are an individual, so is your purpose in life individual, as well as how you find that purpose. It's more likely very different than the purpose of your friends, family members, or colleagues. Finding and living your life purpose is a journey, may take time and may change the course of your life.

There's loads more in this chapter about what you want in life,what are your passions, what are your strengths, what matters to you and to write a personal mission statement and life plan.

Here is Week 19

PurpleRibbons Tue 10-May-16 09:41:04

Thanks for the new thread, this one is going to require some thought!

NightWanderer Tue 10-May-16 10:17:51

No problem. I agree , it's an interesting one. Im curious to hear what others make of it.

quirkychick Tue 10-May-16 16:23:51

Okaaay. Not quite as simple as eat some fruit, is it?

I do agree that the question "what is the meaning of life?" is the wrong question, and we have to find/make our own meaning. Easier said than done.

gingercat02 Wed 11-May-16 20:41:18

Wowzers! That's all a bit deep innit hmm I shall have to ponder it for a while

ICJump Thu 12-May-16 06:24:53

So I've been thinking about restarting all the habits. So I'm going to go back and do week one as well as week 20.

Live with purpose???
That is tricky. I think I've lost a sense if purpose since having kids. I used to have dreams or impractical plans and just do them. But now I'm not so sure.
My psychologist said I should say a phrase before work and I have been using "I will manage this calmly and be fun". But yesterday I said I will manage this calmly and be brilliant.
Do you think that is purpose?

8FencingWire Thu 12-May-16 07:01:52

I was pondering about this at 5 am whilst brushing my teethgrin
I'm trying to mindfully brush my teeth, so you can bet my thought went flying haywards.
When I was young, taking risks and meeting challenges head on was just something I did and sought.
I'm in my 40s. I want to do the same things day in and day out with the occasional diversion.
Such as having croissants on Sunday mornings, baking cakes on Saturday affernoons, doing my pilates on a tuesday eve.
Then I remember I used to get really annoyed with my Grannie because she was so stuck in her ways, everything had a routine.
I never thought, till now, that routines can actually soothe the soul. So not just washing the dishes whilst begrudging the tediousness of it all. But washing the dishes whilst washing the dishes.

The thing is, I found my purpose in life quite late, in my 30s (or is that normal?). Being myself, being a mum and my job give me a purpose.
I've nailed the job thing. Been doing it for 10 years and I would never do anything else, I simply thrive on it and I am really grateful to have found it.
The motherhood thing I find fun, I'm no mother earth, but it's my anchor. So no matter how bad things are, I still need to provide for the kid, still need to be there.
Myself (being myself)....well, reader, I had lost myself for a while. And now I found myself. And it's fun. But rather than seeking adventures, I'm seeking the comfort given by routines. smile

margaritasbythesea Thu 12-May-16 07:06:15

Hello thread. Thanks Nightwanderer.

IC - sounds like setting the bar very high to me. I have known two brilliant people intellectually speaking and they were not calm! What do you mean by brilliant?

I feel that I know what my sense if purpose is right now but none of my friends or family think it is enough for me. I grew up in a very disturbed family and my purpose is to learn how to make a good supportive one for my own partner, children and myself. I don't think people realise what this means I have to think about. Probably because I don't tell them! But I am very proud when I see my children giggling or being naughty. They feel safe.

ICJump Thu 12-May-16 08:21:37

8fencingwire thank you. Your insight is really valuable. I'm still rallying against routine but maybe I should embrace it. Or at least acknowledge it's there and I'm in it.

ICJump Thu 12-May-16 08:28:51

I think by brilliant I when better than good. Maybe devoted, and consumed by the task. Allowing myself to do what I can rather than stop myself short. I don't mean in compassion to others. My brilliance might be someone's mediocre. There's enjoyment in there. There is some guy who studied artists and such and when they are really into thier work there is a work flow so it doesn't seam like work. That is sort of what I mean.
And yes calm doesn't naturally fit but for me it's the scaffolding around the brilliance.

NightWanderer Thu 12-May-16 12:38:19

I feel like I'm living by the seat of my pants all the time. I live pay day to pay day, often running out of money towards the end of the month. I'm always rushing out the door late with things forgotten. Dinner is cobbled together, im overweight because I eat biscuits on the run, the house is messy. I'd like to be in control of my life. Not rich but just comfortable, living in a clean organized home. I'd like to eat well and exercise regularly. I'd like to have time to do crafts, sit and watch tv in a tidy living room. I'd like a better social life. I'd like to travel again and take up scuba diving again. It's hard when your kids are young but I think it may get easier with time and focus. Anyway, I guess that's my goal. At the moment I can't even go to the toilet by myself without the toddler screaming. But this is why I like this book, it has helped a lot even though I haven't been great at doing challenges it gives me something to aim for and focus on.

quirkychick Thu 12-May-16 14:40:24

I completely agree about being subsumed by the needs of your children! Dd2 particularly, as she has SN and takes up so much of my time and thoughts, and then I feel guilty about dd1... I do think a lot of these little changes help. I think you also have to not beat yourself up about not being perfect!

I am finding a lot of meaning in doing the Headspace and yoga, and am definitely getting into a state of flow. I really miss it when I don't do it and have kept both up since January. I am generally fairly happy with being moderately active and eating well. I would at some point like to go back to work and get a better social life, but hopefully as more things are in place for dd2 it will get easier. This week we have had no appointments, and my parents have gone back, so it's been a bit of a breather.

Not sure I live in a clean and organised home, either. Sometimes it is and often sometimes it's not!

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Fri 13-May-16 20:40:25

Just back home from being away for 10 days, will come back tomorrow and read properly - blimey!

Thanks NightWanderer

margaritasbythesea Sun 15-May-16 08:38:16

My daughter has started doing yoga at school. She comes home and teaches me the moves!

Icjump I thought you might mean something like that. It is a long time since I felt like that for sure. It's a nice feeling!

Nightwanderer l think I am pretty well organised but I get defeated by the endless round of tidying, washing. As soon as I do it all, there it us again. I swear I wash up after dinner every night. Somehow there is still a sinkful of dirty dishes in the morning! DH is very good but stil .... I obsessively put reminders in my phone for everything and keep things like swimming kits in the car. Mine are 8 and 5 now and it is one hell of a lot easier than a couple if years ago.

Hello bewitched.

NightWanderer Tue 17-May-16 02:34:50

Here is the next challenge, sorry for the delay posting it

Week 21 - Go organic

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