Terrified of abortion :( help.

[piperpiper]

Please dont hate me, my decision is very personal and I have decided to have a termination.

I am only 3-4 weeks, I found out today.
I was hoping someone could let me know what to expect from the surgical versus medical options? I am going private and have the option to end the pregnancy this sunday.
I never thought I would ever make this decision but it is right for me. I am however so sick with worry but the only threads I can find on here are years old or from people who had a termination many years ago.

If someone who has been through this give some insight particularly of the surgical option that would be great.

Please be gentle with me I dont wish to offend anyone.
P.

[iamadaftcoo]

Please don't be frightened, and please ignore anyone who posts here being judgemental, they shouldn't be.

I had a medical abortion at 7 weeks, I won't pretend it didn't hurt because it did (think very very strong period pains) but it wasn't horrific - it was over very quickly with minimal side effects and I felt fine the next day.

At your stage of pregnancy I definitely wouldn't go for surgical, much more invasive. You are so early that it's likely a medical won't be so bad for you, my friend who had a medical at 4 weeks found it no worse than her normal period. Everyone is different though.

Shout if you have questions.

[piperpiper]

It probably sounds ridiculous but I have a very manual active job but I am self employed and literally cant afford to take weeks off work or I cant pay my bills :(
I was hoping the surgical option would mean less pain and a quicker recovery??

[iamadaftcoo]

You wouldn't need weeks off work with the medical, I had mine while I was at uni and I was back in lectures the next day. I would think actually you'd need more time off with the surgical option personally.

[Whichseason]

piper I am sorry you are going through this difficult time.

I have taken the 'abortion pills' (pessary only) recently for an incomplete miscarriage. I had bad period pain for a few hours for which I took paracetamol with codeine but you can't use ibroferen. I was 6 weeks pregnant and from the start of the bleeding to the end I was never in more pain than a period and mostly had no pain. The bleeding was never heavy.

[Pipistrella]

Oh you poor thing. I really feel for you. If I were in your position and had decided for sure, I'd go for the earliest medical termination that was offered, before your body starts to think it's having a baby - this will minimise the effect on you and make it as painless as possible.

the baby is so very tiny at present that I don't think it is terribly wrong. Just my personal view.

If you want a surgical termination you will have to wait till probably 6 or 7 weeks as they need to scan you to make sure the baby is all gone afterwards, obviously this means a greater impact on your body and yourself.

So I would really go for the one you have been offered on Sunday if you have made up your mind x

[BearFoxBear]

Please don't worry, it is all quite fast and relatively painless. I had a medical abortion yesterday. I went to hospital at 8am and was home by 1pm. It was horrible but manageable. I needed some painkillers last night, but I've been fine today. You will be alright.

[PureMorning]

I had a medical abortion at 5 weeks in april
I took the pill at 9, I had light cramping and felt a bit shakey for an hour and by 1pm it was over. I had a light period for five days them back to normal.

[Enormouse]

I had a surgical abortion at 11 weeks in January.

I travelled from NI to do it and returned on the same day. The GA only puts you to sleep for about 15 minutes.
I was looking after two very active toddlers the next day and back to lectures as normal.

Wishing you all the best

[TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet]

Hello OP
Hope you are okay - we have a pregnancy choices topic, do let us know if you'd like us to move this there.
Very kindest to you

[OttilieKnackered]

I've had both. In terms of physical pain, medical was much worse. Like seriously bad period pain. Also was more 'real' as you sort of 'feel' a popping sensation as the foetus comes away. Surgical was less traumatic but more disruptive. Had to take a day off work and have a GA and associated medication etc. I feel for you. Both decisions were absolutely right for me, for different reasons, but it's never easy. Make sure you have someone with you- in both cases I wasn't allowed to leave alone. PM me if you have any questions.

[anotherbloodycyclist]

I had a surgical abortion at 7 weeks. I drove myself to and from the clinic and although the procedure was uncomfortable it wasn't painful. I didn't have a GA. I had a cup of tea afterwards and then was on my way, and back to work the next day. I had bleeding for a week or so. The staff at the clinic were lovely, not judgemental at all. It was absolutely the right decision for me and I have no regrets. Good luck. You will be fine.

[piperpiper]

A couple of updates

1. I called a second clinic his morning to see if I could get a sooner date and this clinic said it is impossible to do at 3 weeks and that I will have to wait another two weeks. The first clinic told me they could do the procedure this sunday so am now unsure if it will actually happen. I have worked out my dates exactly and I am 100% sure I am only about three weeks as I have only had sex once in the last few months and had a period before then. Has anyone done this as early as three weeks?
   

1. Have done a second test this morning - a cheaper one- which has come up negative (!!!) I am/was on the pill at the time I would have conceived so initially was surprised that I had become pregnant. I am now in turmoil until I finish work when I can buy another two tests.
   

Has anyone ever had a false positive?
Thanks for the support and info.
P

[piperpiper]

A couple of updates

1. I called a second clinic his morning to see if I could get a sooner date and this clinic said it is impossible to do at 3 weeks and that I will have to wait another two weeks. The first clinic told me they could do the procedure this sunday so am now unsure if it will actually happen. I have worked out my dates exactly and I am 100% sure I am only about three weeks as I have only had sex once in the last few months and had a period before then. Has anyone done this as early as three weeks?
   

1. Have done a second test this morning - a cheaper one- which has come up negative (!!!) I am/was on the pill at the time I would have conceived so initially was surprised that I had become pregnant. I am now in turmoil until I finish work when I can buy another two tests.
   

Has anyone ever had a false positive?
Thanks for the support and info.
P

[piperpiper]

Sorry double posted
and @ TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet
Yes please if that makes more sense than it being here.

[MatildaTheCat]

OP, pregnancy is measured from the first day of your last period. So, if your period is one week late, assuming a regular cycle, you are five weeks pregnant. It means that the point of conception is actually measured two weeks pregnant.

I'm just wondering if this accounts for the different responses you have had.

In your position I would choose the medical option because although the surgery is very safe it still carries risks whereas the medical option is less of a risk afaik.

[piperpiper]

@Matilda
Okay I probably sound so naive and silly im only 20 and not very experienced with this kind of thing

I havent actually missed a period yet- I cant really "miss" them because I was/am on the pill. However, I missed a couple of pills last month and shortly after I had unprotected sex three times (same guy) right in the middle of my ovulation period.

It is now three weeks since that, and I noticed that my boobs started to swell and I have not been eating much at all but gaining weight etc.
I took the clearblue digital, which can be taken 5 days before the period is due. I am due in 3 days. It said positive 1-2 weeks pregnant. I have tested a bit early, but I thought this would possibly lead to a false negative but never a false positive. The second test came back negative, but I thought maybe this was because its a cheaper test (the one with the two lines)

I am slightly confused because of being on microgynon at the same time, that because I am now on a break from my pill, I will have my withdrawl bleed and think this is a period when it isnt... if that makes any sense.

[WinterOfOurDiscountTents15]

Ok 3 weeks since conception is dated as 5 weeks pregnant, so that maybe where some of the confusion is coming from. You can disregard bleeding as you're not having actual periods when on the pill. You need to call them back and tell them you are around 5 weeks as this will change the answers they are giving you.
Good luck.

[piperpiper]

Thankyou winter xxxxx

[piperpiper]

Sorry me again-
Have taken two more tests and both are negative. How can you get a positive and then three negatives?!

[WinterOfOurDiscountTents15]

The "positive" could have been faulty, an evap line, you peed on it wrong? It does happen. Or it could be that the first one was a lot more sensitive (some are calibrated to detect a lower amount of the relevant hormone than others) Wait a few days and test again to be sure.

[piperpiper]

Now testing after original test, using clearblue digital (same test as first time). First thing in the morning where hormone levels are meant to be more concentrated...
Not pregnant.
Am trying to get a quick consultation today just to check.
I never thought pregnancy tests could be this unreliable....

[WinterOfOurDiscountTents15]

Sounds like the majority of them are reliable, several negatives are probably right. The positive could have been user error or just faulty. But this is good news, right? Best of luck.