Emetophobia... probably an essay to follow!

[Quellerosien]

Hello lovely people of mumsnet. I feel like a bit of an interloper... I am not as yet a mum or TTC but I do have a problem. I am quite badly emetophobic (fear of sickness). I am getting married this July and whilst we do not have any plans to start TTC in the immediate future, I know I want children at some point. The thought of being pregnant, labour etc just fills me with fear and dread rather than excitement and the thought of having to deal with sick children terrifies me further. How on earth could I hope to be a good mother with a debilitating fear like this? Any hint of nausea and I have a panic attack, shake uncontrollably, just generally climb the walls/my DP/ anything else within reach.

I have read some really helpful posts on here but I just do not know how I will cope. I honestly feel like if I get through pregnancy alive it will be a bonus. I could see this hugely impacting our sex life ie as soon as we start TTC I will be massively panicking every time we have sex. I am worried that I will never actually be at a place where I can handle my fear, will never be able to face becoming pregnant and that my DP will leave me. I have spoken to him about this and he is understanding but I just don't think he knows what to say. He says it won't ever mean we split up and given how lovely and kind he is, I know at the moment that this is true. However ten years down the line from now if I still haven't managed to pluck up the courage/get the heck over myself I don't know if this will still be true.

Hugely jumping the gun, probably worrying for nothing. But hey, I'm a worrier. Its what I do. Literally been loosing sleep over this for about the last three to four months. This coupled with the fact that the beautiful wedding dress I bought last year doesn't fit right now (let myself turn into a fatty - stupid stupidness) and I am in full blown panic mode!

TL:DR - emetophobic. probably worrying about things that wont happen. need help. cheers.

[Matildathecat]

Print this off and show to your GP. You can get help and you can vastly improve.

Good luck

[kazzawazzawoo]

Hi Quelle There are a few of us on here. I've suffered for years and years so understand how you feel.

I was never actually ill whilst pregnant luckily, although I was nauseous, which was bad enough. I have 3 children and obviously they have been ill at times. Dh and I have an unspoken agreement - I clean up after the cats and dog, he looks after dd when she is poorly. (The others are older and have now flown the best.)

In my experience there is little a gp can do, other than prescribe medication for anxiety if necessary. I was offered some counselling and CBT but the counselling didnt help as he couldn't understand my phobia and I turned down the CBT. I know it helps some people though.

I think the ongoing thread for emetophobes is on the mental health section.

Feel free to pm me if you need to talk to someone who understands

[kazzawazzawoo]

flown the nest - stupid phone!

[Lauren83]

Hello

I'm another emet, I had CBT before I got pregnant to help with is, I didn't expect it would take 7 years (and counting!) but I do feel once I finally get pregnant I will be more prepared, horrible phobia you have my sympathy x

[ANM07]

Me too. I hate being sick, even seeing it on a pavement somewhere sets me off with anxiety. You might not even get morning sickness.
I had a horrendous pregnancy with hyperemesis through to 20 weeks but there are drugs to help. It was awful however I wasn't actually sick once I started taking Zofran. I wasn't sick during labour. And u can ask for anti sickness drugs during labour if it is something that bothers you.
With regards my daughter being sick, it's not nice but strangely it's the only sick I can ever cope with. She's not had any stomach bug type things yet but when she has been sick it's more of a case of comforting her and just doing what u need to do. It's not like adult sick.

[Mintyy]

You need to get yourself some cognitive behavioural therapy. Your GP may refer but if not I would prioritise this and set aside some money to cover the cost of the therapy.

[paddyclampo]

I'm a half recovered emetophobe, I think it's more common than we realize. I was never sick during my pregnancies nor in labour.

Obviously there are occasions when my kids have been sick, but now that they're a bit older (10 and 8) they v rarely get ill now.

If it's affecting you to the point where you would consider not having kids, please get help as there are people out there who can help you with this.

[Lauren83]

I had a course of NHS CBT, before that I paid private £95 every week for 50 min, spent over £1,000 then finally got funded on the NHS x