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How can I get DH to exercise?

(3 Posts)
Arana Mon 11-Feb-13 23:32:19

DH is 35 and has a BMI of 28, so is overweight but not massively so. The problem is, he does almost no exercise whatsoever. He used to play softball once a week in the summer, but this stopped when we moved two years ago. He says he wants to exercise, he says he wants to lose weight, he says he’s interested in signing up for more softball/similar, but never does.

I thought things were looking up when his friends signed up as a team for a 5k obstacle course, with him included in the team (he was drunk when he agreed to it, and regrets signing up). He had 12 weeks to train for it, but now there’s 4 weeks to go and all he’s done is two 10-minute bike rides. Again, he keeps on saying that he’s going to train, he’s going to go for a run, he’s going to go out on the bike, but then another week goes by with nothing.

Whenever I mention exercise (and I try and do it in a way that isn’t overbearing – usually he’s asked me to remind him to go for a bike ride that evening) he gets defensive. I mentioned a local gym which had an offer on membership, and he said I was hassling him. I bought him a copy of Men’s Health (which he used to subscribe to 2 years ago) and he accused me of putting too much pressure on him. However, I’ve had two years of barely mentioning health / fitness / exercise with no success.

The reason it concerns me, is partly because of DH’s age and weight, but mainly because he constantly complains of being tired. He can jump on the trampoline with the kids for 30 seconds before he’s out of puff and has to sit down for ten minutes. He says he’s knackered after a 20 minute trip to the park with the DCs. He’s not an active dad, and I’m worried that our kids are going to become more sedentary – they’ve started complaining now that they’re too tired to go for a walk etc.

I know that if he just pushes through the first bit, he will get fitter, have more energy, and hopefully his mood will lift (he is often down, and can get quite angry). He’s had blood tests (for thyroid etc) so there’s no medical reason for him feeling tired, other than being unfit.

How can I successfully motivate him, or help him to motivate himself?

amck5700 Tue 12-Feb-13 14:18:35

I started doing the NHS c25k a few weeks ago after no exercise for years. I am enjoying it, but it doesn't really help in terms of getting your OH motivated. Do you do any particular exercise? Is time an issue for him?

My OH really loves hill walking but knows unless he exercises during the week, he wont be fit enough to do the thing he enjoys.

My mum being in hospital was probably the wake up call for me - she is not very active but after having 7 kids and working all her life, I guess when she retired and the dog died she really did very little and now she is having a lot of health issues. I looked at myself and saw my weight creeping up, feeling stiff and inflexible after sitting a desk all day and knew I had to do something - I've linked in with a couple of friends and we are keeping each other going.

Can you all decide as a family to do more? - e.g. swimming/cyscling etc - maybe he just needs the right support ..........or a kick up the bum!

Mollydoggerson Tue 12-Feb-13 14:27:36

Tell him it's his parental duty to be a good role model to the kids and to take some responsibility for himself.

It's not your duty to get him fit, he needs to do it for himself.

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