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My Dad has Prostate Cance ... Help

(12 Posts)
crystaltips Tue 18-Nov-03 12:27:30

Feeling a bit low a tthe moment. Have just come off the phone from my Dad ( they don't live close to me ) who said that he has just been diagnosed with prostate Cancer. They are not sure whether to go for surgery or radiotherapy. He's 70, overweight ( though strong heart ) and I don't know what to advise ... or what to say - other thean words of comfort. The specialists will not advise which mode of treatment to opt for, they say it's his choice.
Have any of you been in the same boat and can you reassure me

uknowme Tue 18-Nov-03 12:31:15

Message withdrawn

ks Tue 18-Nov-03 12:35:08

Message withdrawn

maomao Tue 18-Nov-03 12:52:59

crystaltips,

So sorry to hear about your father. I agree that they should find a specialist with whom they feel comfortable, and discuss their options.

My father has prostate cancer---unfortunately it has gone too far for him to be cured, but it is being managed quite well, which is good! Prostate cancer is, unfortunately, very common, but many people are able to live with it, or are even cured (my DP father had prostate cancer, and is now cured).

Sorry, I'm not much help.... just wanted to wish you and your family all the best.

doormat Tue 18-Nov-03 12:57:56

crystaltips I cant offer any advice as not been through this but would like to offer my best wishes to you and your family. Take care
hugs
xxx

suedonim Tue 18-Nov-03 13:06:11

Crystaltips, a good friend of ours in America is at this very moment recovering from prostate cancer. His specialist also put the ball in his court and wouldn't advise which was the best option. He was told that the prognosis is very good, whichever treatment you opt for.

He came to his decision by researching the two options and also by talking to people who had had both types of treatment. He chose surgery, mainly because he is only 48, he felt he wanted treatment 'over and done with', and as his family has a tendency to it, didn't want to risk a recurrence in 20 or 30 yrs time.

It may cheer you up to know that 6 weeks after our friend had his op, tests have shown that there is no longer any sign of cancer. Best wishes to you and your father.

cerys Tue 18-Nov-03 13:47:22

crystaltips, my dad was diagnosed with this nearly 2.5 years ago. It was a real shock to us all. He was offered the same choice as your dad, but at that time our local hospital was running trials on a new injection (hormone therapy)and he opted to take part. It hasn't suited everyone in the group, but his tumour has gone completely . They gave him 2 years if he didn't have treatment, so obviously this is a real bonus.

The Prostate Cancer charity will send you an information pack if you contact them
here

So I know how you must be feeling and I hope you all find the information and support you need. It is very common and lots of men have it and don't know. BTW my dad was 62 when diagnosed and a bit overweight. He has made certain lifestyle changes and started eating a bit more healthily too.

feel free to contact me via Mumsnet if you want to "chat".

Sending you lots of hugs

boyandgirl Tue 18-Nov-03 16:24:34

crystaltips....{{{hugs{}}}}...My dad also had Prostate Cancer at the age of 70, and he in the end chose surgery despite having heart problems. It was completely successful, but he now has regular blood tests for PSA to check that the cancer hasn't spread or returned. I think they're every 3 months at first, then 6 monthly, then annually.

My Dad is not the type to let on to anybody that he may have a problem, but my Mum persuaded him that this was something we (their children) had to know about, so it was very difficult for us to help him. I don't know what to suggest, just love and for them to know that you are interested in anything they want to discuss or offload.

Just like we Mumsnetters are here for you.

hmb Tue 18-Nov-03 16:31:25

Hugs to you CT. My Dad had prostate cancer, and sadly he died BUT many, many men have prostate cancer *when* they die, but it doesn't kill them (IYSWIM). With hormone treatment, or surgery life expectancy can be very good. My father had an excellent quality of life right up until the end. My counsin's husband is now 3 years from his diagnosis of PC and he is 100% symptom free.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that you shouldn't think that the worse will happen, as for many, man, men the prognosis is very good. Look into BACUP, they do excellent patient information leaflets.

Take care

crystaltips Tue 18-Nov-03 18:37:05

Thank you all very much indeed .... I have read the websites from cover to cover - IYKWIM ! and Have faxed a load of stuff to my Dad ... bless him - still in the Ice age as far as technology is concerned.
But it's all a gread help ... just rather sad that I need it

whymummy Tue 18-Nov-03 19:34:40

sorry about your dad crystaltips,my dad had a scare 3 years ago, it turned out to be just a very enlarged prostate but my friend's dad had prostate cancer and after treatmnt he's been cleared for 3 years,good luck to your dad and hugs for you all ((((((()))))))

cerys Wed 26-Nov-03 13:46:44

crystaltips - was just wondering how you are? And your dad too, of course.

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