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Career or family? How do i do both?

(9 Posts)
Evans8902 Mon 18-Apr-16 00:08:04

Hi. I'm new here, thought this would be the best place to get advice from experienced mum's. I'm 27, been married for about 8 months and am currently working in an admin job. I really want to train as a teacher but at the same time I also want to start a family. When I was a teenager I thought i'd have 2 kids by now but life is never what you dream it will be. The training course lasts from Sept - July. And I hope to start this year. Is there any possible way that I could do the course whilst pregnant? But then would employers want to employ me if I'm a couple of months gone. is it too soon in the marriage to be having a baby? My mind is all over the place right now. I am desperate to have a child, I feel ready for the first time but I also want to have a stable career to give them the best life they could ever want. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

FlyRussianUnicorn Mon 18-Apr-16 00:18:49

There is no right time to start a family.

One of my oldest and closest friends has a 2 yr old DD- was with her partner for 13 years and he left for someone else as he decided parenthood wasnt for him. Im not saying this to put you off- to give you a background to the advice im going to give.

She is currently in her 1st yr of a midwifery degree, did her access course from home while PG. She relies heavily on her support network (i.e me and her mum) to babysit while she is on placement but she is enjoying it. I of course want to help my friend achieve her dreams but I will admit I am mostly doing it so my goddaughter will have a better future and a better life then she did growing up.

Its hard work. She has her moments of guilt and nearly gives up- but as we keep reminding her, its her life- and she cant not follow her dreams because of her DD. Shes still Mum, DGD suffers no ill effects from her being away from her (obviously because she has an awesome GM wink). She has a wobble every now again but nothing a chat over a bottle of vodka doesnt sort out.

Do it. If you want a child, have one. If you want to study, do it.

But remember in terms of study- its never too late.

Evans8902 Mon 18-Apr-16 18:51:51

Thank you. That's given me some hope that someone else has gone through the same sort of thing. I think I need to really think this through. Thank you smile

FaithLoveandHope Mon 18-Apr-16 18:54:53

Read the staffroom board. Are you sure you want to go into teaching? Have you had a lot of experience working in a school? I really wouldn't try and combine teaching with a family if I were you...

pitterpatterrain Mon 18-Apr-16 19:03:32

I can't speak about re-training in teaching. My perspective is there is no ideal time to study and/or have DC, so you have to figure out what you want to personally get on with and accept, as often the thing that will reduce is your personal time, and sleep(!).

I am currently doing a part-time masters, working 4 days with travel outside of the U.K and am 3 months pregnant and we have DD who is 2.5.

I would say a support network is key as I couldn't do it without my DH being onboard - he pulls his weight and when I'm not available due to essay crunches / travel / work deadlines he picks it all up.

This time around studying I know I will not be aiming for the highest marks and I need to be ruthless about my time at work and face up to a slower path. But it is certainly possible, if not tiring grin

Needmorewine Mon 18-Apr-16 19:13:04

I would get your PGCE and ideally NQT year done first, it's so worthwhile but I'm not going to lie, it is tough.

However teaching is a fab job imo - plenty of opportunity to climb the career ladder if that is what you want to do or if you got pregnant just after / during your NQT year you would then potentially get good maternity pay and the opportunity of going back to a satisfying career part time if you wanted. Be clever and play the long game wink

Evans8902 Mon 18-Apr-16 23:17:25

Pitterpatterrain I admire you. The majority of my family are telling me to wait. Get the course done and then have a baby. But I don't know if I can really wait another year or two before I have a baby.


I always wanted to be a teacher when I was younger but got side tracked with my more creative side and so I've just been stuck in admin jobs since uni. I will have a look at the staffroom board.

Thank you all for the advice.

FaithLoveandHope Fri 22-Apr-16 07:25:58

Evans when you say you have always wanted to have you actually had experience standing in front of a class? My old teacher said to me it can be one of the best jobs in the world or it can be one of the worst jobs in the world and you won't know until you experience it. Experience is invaluable for giving you something to tall about at interview too.

I definitely wouldn't have children during PGCE or NQT year. Also remember that maternity pay as a teacher is really good but only if you've been there long enough - I don't know if that's something you need to take into account? If you get pregnant at some point during your PGCE you won't be entitled to SMP or the enhanced amount you can get as an actual teacher.

Rebecca2014 Fri 22-Apr-16 07:32:01

You are only 27, do your course then get a year or two teaching experience under your belt. How old will you be? 30 when you have your first which is not old and the average age in the UK for mothers to have their first child.

Yes you can go into education with children, I am currently doing it as a single mum to one BUT it is hard and I wish I did this all pre children. Why put the worry of childcare, the stresses of finding time to study when you could just wait? Your biological clock isn't ticking.

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