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Fostering

Fostering and dating - is it possible?

2 replies

flowerpot5782 · 27/06/2020 10:25

Hi, so I'm very close to having my first foster child, we have just applied for the panel date to be brought forward.

My partner, who went through the assessment period with me, even though I am the main carer, he wasn't named as joint carer, and he didn't live with me full time, has just left me a week ago. I'm very sad about losing him, but I also worry about my future... I am only 38 (very nearly), and I worry about how it would work to find a new partner while fostering. Obviously I'm no where near ready to date again yet, but now I'm scared I'll be on my own forever, as I can't see how I can meet someone while being a single foster carer. How would I find the time? I still want to go ahead on my own, as I've been wanting to foster for most of my life.

Has anyone any experience with this, and is it possible to meet a new partner while fostering?

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Cassimin · 28/06/2020 21:22

I knew a carer who had her own child and 2 fc placed with her long term. She was a single carer and all was going well for a couple of years until she met someone.
We are with an agency and they made it clear that they weren’t happy with this. They said he couldn’t stay over, needed to be dbs checked, wouldn’t provide respite when they wanted to go away for a weekend.
Unfortunately I don’t know what happened as I only saw her when we went on training but I know she was having a very worrying time.
I would be open with your Sw and ask how you would deal with this if it happened.
You would also have to be aware that the child could be jealous if someone else came into your life and make it really uncomfortable for a new partner.
It’s good to think about it now though so you can discuss it before it happens.

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endofacentury · 04/07/2020 18:35

I was a single foster carer for 5 years in my early 30s and couldn't date and never met anyone. Was one of the reasons I stopped in the end as I felt unhappy at never being able to have any kind of personal life ever again!

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