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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Fostering

Friend for me required

11 replies

Laura25o6 · 01/09/2017 09:06

Hi I've posted a few time about my kids but today I'm asking for myself.

SW has said they'll find me a local buddy to help and assist and give advice. Unfortunately this hasn't happened yet! I am ffa two twins aged 3 and I'm honestly struggling and really need someone who is going the the same to talk too.

I'm in Lancashire

If anyone is local to me please let me know and we can meet for a coffee. My support network are fab but they don't fully understand my issues as they've had their children from birth. We've had weeks to prepare ourselves so my thinking it's slightly different. From nothing to two boisterous over energetic children. Husband went back to work last week so it's been me and the two. I don't drive so difficult to take kids on long journeys. Can only rely on busses as. As far as I'm aware I can't take them out in cabs.

I'd be so happy just to have a normal conversation with someone going through the same as me xx

I await any person xx

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WristBitch · 01/09/2017 09:42

Have you tried the mush app? Its an app that can help find friends in your area with the same interests ect.

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Laura25o6 · 01/09/2017 10:16

No but I'm downloading as I text. Thanks

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fasparent · 01/09/2017 22:36

Be careful with mush app Laura, MOST WILL BE UNKNOWN . Why we all have police checks etc.
See if you can get a place at local nursery, our 3 yr old has 3 hrs a day he loves it, and we meet other parents, you can get a taxi., See if there are any play groups in your area (should be) local church, sure start, children's centre, library, leisure centre etc.
Lots of walks , visit too the park and picnics, We do picnics a couple of times a week.

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Shockers · 01/09/2017 22:48

Whereabouts in Lancashire?

We fostered under 3s until we adopted two siblings. It was hard!

It was also one of the happiest periods in my life, once I'd got my head around it. Being proactive rather than reactive saved my sanity, but it was exhausting and I needed adult conversations too.

I'd be really happy to meet up and support, both emotionally and practically if you're not too far away, but I do work school hours.

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Laura25o6 · 02/09/2017 08:16

@Shockers

Oswaldtwistle Accrington is where I live. I was told I couldn't use a taxi as it's health and safety as no car seats and should anything happen I'd be liable.

How long have you have yours now? Mine are siblings also. One starts then the other does and all want to do is cry most days. Husband calmed home then I'm like go to daddy this is my time lol is this right to do or not??

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Laura25o6 · 02/09/2017 08:19

@fasparent
Hi unfortunately we're not allowed to place them in nursery yet as we've been told to wait till the adoption order is granted and in place. It's hard getting out with the too some days, he lets go of hand and runs off so then she does it. Asked if I can use wrist restraints and been told no. It's a hard life ATM

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fasparent · 02/09/2017 10:00

Had our Adoption finalised last week, been in nursery for 12 months prior, just that SS or FCA may be have too pay, Our child has ABI so we have too use a harness's, Think care / inclusions and Health and safety
well over ride. Meeting other children through play being excepted has helped his development in more ways I can mention plus the support and expertize, they have in place.

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Shockers · 02/09/2017 10:47

Hi Laura, ours are now 17 and 18 and we've had the youngest since the day he was born (5 weeks early!). He's now at sixth form and is over 6' .

We've had times, in the early days (and especially before we got DD's school sorted- she's now at a wonderful special school) where we could have given up, but I'm so glad we found the emotional reserves to carry on. They're ace kids!!

I found that avoiding the friends and family who wouldn't listen to our advice re healthy attachment helped enormously. Reading up on attachment is so valuable!

I'd love to meet up, but I work mon-thurs and am in the Lancaster area. I'm free on Fridays though... just have to be back to collect DD. Let me know if you have a Friday free (and whether you'd like to!).

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Shockers · 02/09/2017 10:49

DH lost his job because I was so dependent on him at first! It worked out for the best though because he became self employed, doing something he loves (and which actually pays better). He would never have had the incentive without our two!

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Shockers · 04/09/2017 18:36

Sorry if I scared you off, Laura.

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Laura25o6 · 04/09/2017 20:25

No not at all Hun, both kids been poorly this weekend so it's been mummy cuddles and cleaning up sick x