Fostering with previous SS involvement.

[Ehlana]

Hoping someone can help.

We are considering fostering, we were both really young, 19 when last (2nd child) was born and late 30s now.

We are concerned however about how prior social services involvement will affect us.

DS had severe behavioural issues, including aggressive violent behaviour, had respite, but was largely let down by SS, School and CAMHS. Was never given an official diagnosis, one headteacher thought he was dyspraxic, as her daughter had it and she saw many similarities. He also said to a counsellor once he wanted to kill his sister.

There was a child protection conference at one point to assess if we needed further support or more firm measures. It was instigated by School. Our social worker of the time, and all others, were behind us as parents and firmly in our corner. At the conference it was only people who had never met us or DS. Think three or four said they were against us, with everyone else behind us and we were offered access to additional services. We went ballistic and asked why these hadn't been provided sooner.

One of also also has a criminal record - nothing against a child, or violence. Low community service was the sentence and there were mitigating factors. This was as a teen.

Have given a lot of information that could out me. Didn't want to hold anything back though.

[Ehlana]

Forgot to mention we've had no SS involvement for five years now.

[blueskyinmarch]

You would be best to contact the fostering and adoption team at your LA and ask them to come and speak to you about fostering. They will be able to tell you what stipulations they might have in place. On the face of what you have said in your post I don't think these things would be barriers to fostering but you would have to be able to talk about it and rationalise it and say what you have learned about yourself from the process.

[LarrytheCucumber]

The only way to find out is to apply.

[Ditsy4]

It is a long slow process. I also don't think that would be a problem. I think they usually like people that have had some life experiences.

[Fartleks]

Every foster parent must have something. I'd quite like to apply but had PND years ago. I've got 4 kids and I consider myself to be a good mother.

What's your relationship with your sons like now? Are they still high needs? Are they at home?

[bexollie]

I had involvement with ss twenty years ago because of my husband and allegations against him. I've applied to be a foster carer and my stage one report has just gone in.Basically we had a few more sessions with the assessing sw at stage one to talk about safeguarding and I have read a lot about it . I also have a child with additional needs who has had support as he has a disability with a diagnosis. I talked openly about my situation and have been willing to take the intrusive questioning as necessary . It was a bit unpleasant having to relive it but I'm hoping I get through to stage two then to panel and approval.I personally think i can use my experiences and have learnt a lot through having the support over the years. I would say go ahead as they don't want perfect unrealistic people but people who have life experience.

[Ehlana]

DS still displays the aggression and violence (to property now), he feels let down by the system and has no interest in therapy or GP. Our relationship is great. He's lived by himself for a few years - Social Services found him somewhere with support onsite originally and he's now in his own self-managed flat. He has his independence but knows we are a phone or 10 mins away.

Thanks Bex that was really helpful.

[nicenewone1]

We have been fostering many years. My dh has a large criminal record. But clean for 30 years, and no minors were involved in his crimes. The fostering team have nothing but admiration for the amount of life experience dh has to offer.

As for your son with issues. The only concern might possibly be if he were to come into contact with any child in placement with you, and what steps you would put in place to safeguard them. The fact that you involved so many professionals when you needed it, and fought his corner so ferociously only goes to prove what fantastic carers you will be, and I am certain that they will recognise what a valuable addition you will be to the service.