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Giving my baby up for adoption?

(6 Posts)
Yasmin96 Sun 22-Nov-15 14:15:25

Hello
I know I am probably not posting on the right forum but don't know what other one to post on.

I am pregnant and wanting to continue the pregnancy because of my feelings towards abortion and towards this child. I however know that having another baby right now (considering I am not with its father) is probably impractical and financially/emotionally I am not ready for another.

I know it isn't as common in the UK to relinquish your baby (as it is in the US) but I really feel like I would like to explore this option more. I am not for certain saying I will do it as obviously I am only in the early stages and feelings may change but I would like to know more. Can some one answer my questions for me please.

1- Are there a lot of people who want to adopt newborns? Or will they likely end up in the social care system?

2-Will my child being mixed race effect if/when they become adopted?

3-Does my family have to agree to this? (I am over 18)

4- Who do I contact regarding this

5- Will I get to have any input in choosing the parent's

EliGold Sun 22-Nov-15 16:15:09

Hello Yasmin96. I have no personal experience of adoption, but think the best person to speak to would be the midwife who would probably refer you to social services. Lots of people wish to adopt babies and if you do decide to go down this route then the earlier adoption is arranged the more chance there is that the baby could go straight to it's adoptive parents. This is a huge step. Perhaps you should consider counselling. What about the father would he take the baby? Family don't have to agree, but if they wanted to adopt/foster the child I understand they would probably be preferred than an unknown family (but I don't know this for certain). How old is your current baby? How many children do you have and do they live with you?

fasparent Mon 23-Nov-15 09:23:01

Hi Yasmin, there is a new service now within the NHS now extended National which may be able too offer help and advice, Know its primary for younger people , but think they would extend their services regards your circumstance's. fnp.nhs.uk/

Twopots Tue 24-Nov-15 22:10:21

Hi I'm a foster Carer and have looked after a relinquished baby if you want to message me that's fine, to try and answer your questions
1 lots of people want to adopt new borns there is a new thing called foster to adopt where babies who are likely to be adopted go into a family who are passed to adopted but also to foster so the child stays with the same people from day one, although this doesn't always happen depending on area and if there is anyone ready to do this. If you are surrendering your baby it should ideally take 6 weeks however things don't always go to plan.
2. Being mixed race shouldn't really be of any issue
3.that is up to you LA and the judge to decide they will also want to contact dad to get his permission for the adoption and also a family medical history etc for the child.
4 speak to your midwife she is best placed to help you
5 it's unlikely once baby is surrendered that you will have a say.

Find out all your options and then make an informed choice don't feel like any decisions have to be made straight away and good luck with whatever you decide xx

anxious123 Wed 09-Dec-15 16:51:38

I've recently relinquished (born May 2014) the AO was granted within the last couple of months. Yes people want to adopt young babies, my birth son was snapped up. Your midwife should be able to point you in the right direct, however the child placement team at your local council can advise you. I did have the chance to express opinions on certain aspects - I didn't want my birth son to be brought up in an overly religious family for example and they did respect this.

I signed a section 20 the day after his birth, he was placed in foster care until a family was found (he wasn't even a year old when placed with his adoptive parents).

I withheld the fathers info - DV, rape had been involved and they didn't press me for family info but I did give them all medical history I had which was reasonably in-depth.

If you want to pm me feel free x

ImperialBlether Wed 09-Dec-15 16:56:31

What a distressing time you've had, anxious123. flowers

And flowers to you, too, OP. Speak to your midwife; you'll get some very good advice from her.

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