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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

Fostering

Feeling devastated at end of fostering placement

13 replies

Roshbegosh · 12/10/2013 22:24

Three years with a child and it ended today. There were so many terribly difficult times but I just loved him. The feelings of loss are overwhelming today, I just keep seeing his little face. I hope he will be ok, I can't say any detail on here but this is so hard.

OP posts:

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Mum2lots · 12/10/2013 22:29

Xxx hugs xxx sorry it leaves me speechless too

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Roshbegosh · 12/10/2013 22:54

Thanks mumtolots

OP posts:

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scarlet5tyger · 12/10/2013 22:59

roshbegosh I can only offer the words I take comfort from every time one of my LOs leaves (which someone on here told me when I was feeling as you are now) - every child that you move on leaves a hole in your heart ready for the next child to fill.

Three years is such a long time. Remember it's okay to be sad! (I struggle with this and have to remind myself every time not to bottle it up after making myself physically ill!)

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Roshbegosh · 12/10/2013 23:05

Well I am certainly not bottling it up, weeping all over the place more like. There is a hole in my heart like you say and it aches, there is also a gaping hole in the house without him. I just wonder how he is tonight.

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lovesmileandlaugh · 13/10/2013 10:44

Rosh, can't add much other than so unmumsnetty hugs

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sweetmelissa · 13/10/2013 19:39

Oh Rosh, I do understand xxx

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RudolphLovesoftplay · 13/10/2013 19:44

I don't know if it's the situation your foster son went onto, but I'm an adoptive mum. We talk about his old foster carer all the time, he does love her :)

I am so grateful for what this wonderful woman did for my sons, if it wasn't for her utter dedication one of them would have no hand (no exaggeration). She deserves a knighthood (female equivalent??), and I am forever in her debt.

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holiday88 · 13/10/2013 20:22

we had a little boy with us for just under 2 years and it broke my heart when he went however we are sent regular photos and emails and we meet up once a year and we just saw him today and it was wonderful and sup[er to see the progression that hes made,things do improve however i still have a thought everyday about the children we have moved on and hope when they are adults that they may want to meet us and discuss their early life.

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Panadbois · 16/10/2013 13:15

Oh bless you. Hope you are feeling better today.

I have started waking up in the night worrying about letting go. Our LO hasn't been matched yet

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popserinis · 26/10/2013 00:25

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Greythorne · 26/10/2013 00:42

OP, hope you are feeling better?
Will you get any news from him?

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HappyHarpy · 27/10/2013 20:57

Are you feeling better?

We long term foster too. I worry most when a child moves back home, even though I know it's fine now and I hope they have a wonderful time. It just consumes me...what if?

The only thing I can offer you is empathy. Our foster child moved on last week. She was an older kid so it was great that she was adopted but there's such a big, big hole in us all. Eating at the table isn't the same, because she isn't there. Every moment, there's the feeling of something, someone is missing.

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Roshbegosh · 28/10/2013 20:34

Thanks for the support everyone. Yes I am feeling better but he has been texting us night and day, maybe 100 texts, and we are supposed to back off to help him settle. It is hard to think of him reaching out like that, really upsetting. It is tough and we don't know whether we could foster again.