I want to cheat at Crème Pâtissière. Advice please, my little choux vipers

[AutumnCrow]

I honestly can't be arsed to make it. I love cooking, but this challenge isn't for me. (I can barely spell it.) However I want to stuff my face with make some creme pat pastries, for a family birthday on Friday.

Is there anywhere I can buy it ready made? Or get hold of an instant version that isn't redolent of cornflour laced with dodgy flavouring?

Many thanks.

[AutumnCrow]

Please.

I went to Asda today and they don't sell it, contrary to an online image I found googling. Anywhere else I could try?

Please help me.

[MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee]

They sell it ready made at m&s!

[AutumnCrow]

Oh thank you

Is it nice? Is it 'This isn't crem pat, this is M&S, smear it on your Saharan heatwave body, and get your fantasy sweetheart to kick it off crem pat'?

Asking for a friend.

[MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee]

Haha yes it does the job

[AutumnCrow]

I am sad to report that my nearest M&S foodhall doesn't stock cream pat. I had to make do with a fancy custard @ £2.40

We bought a cake for Friday, and I'm attempting the pastries today. What can possibly go wrong ...?

[AutumnCrow]

Hmm. They were ok but I'm still after ready made (or packet mix) crem pat.

I've tried M&S, Waitrose, Sainsburys, Asda, Tesco and Lidl. I've looked online. It's very elusive.

[MotherofTerriers]

The posh custard is nice but not thick enough - how about starting with a tub of that and thickening it up a bit - maybe heating gently with added eggs?

[AutumnCrow]

I think that's a splendid idea, @MotherofTerriers. Just the egg yolks, right?

[MotherofTerriers]

Yes egg yolks. Although I suppose you could try boiling it up with slaked cornflower instead
Some of the supermarket posh custards are thicker than others. I found Tesco and marks and Spencer’s the thickest

I like custard

[LaBelleSauvage123]

Following - I was just thinking about this very question earlier today when looking at recipes for chocolate twists. Just can’t be bothered to make the creme pat.

[Tartyflette]

For a pastry cream filling, get a tub of the best, fresh luxury custard you can find, preferably one made with eggs, (or even better if you can find it, a tub of crème anglaise from a fancy deli or food hall) .
Whip double cream until thick but not stiff. Fold it gently into the cold custard to thicken it, adding it little by little until you get the consistency you want.
Taste it and if it's not quite sweet enough add a little vanilla sugar. Chill before using.
I've bought packet crème anglaise mix in France but haven't seen it in the UK.

[AutumnCrow]

@MotherofTerriers I've got the Sainsburys posh custard to try with Asda ready made puff pastry. This has become a battle of wills now.

@LaBelleSauvage123 I'll let you know how it goes. I think @Tartyflette has the solution tbh - and also identified a gap in the market over in the UK for packet mix

I've looked online @Tartyflette but can't find any available to order.

[Windygate]

What about making old fashioned Birds custard with more custard powder to milk ratio. Allow it to cool a bit and spread/pipe away. You could always fold in some whipped cream to enrich it and thin it

[AutumnCrow]

@Windygate thank you for that idea

I've checked and I've got Birds custard powder in the cupboard (goodness knows how old it is) so that's a real possibility.

I've realised there's no real easy shortcut of extreme laziness, but collecting these near-shortcuts is fun. Thank you.